Shifting Fate
by HillaryM1986
Summary: JaredxKim Story with a twist.Kim's best friend is crazy about Jared but has no idea that Kim likes him. I suck at summaries. First story.Please Review let me know what you think
1. Chapter 1

Ok couples notes. Don't own characters except for a few that I've created they belong to SM but Embrey will someday belong to me. Please Review. This is for practice so let me know what you think. Love it hate it whatever. Constructive criticism welcome. Go to my page there's some pics of Jared's car, what Kim looks like (think of her more nerdy hair pulled back with glasses, she will come out as the story progresses) I will try and put a picture of what kims house looks like and Jared's later

Eros – Pronounced (Air-ros)

Brummett – (Brew-met)

Chapter 1.

It was one of those days. Those days when all you want to do is turn up the heat, snuggle under the covers and doze all day long, occasionally coming out of hibernation for sustenance. Of course no such luck for me. My mom lived by the book and she never bought the whole sick routine, or even my whole "mental health day" bit.

So now I was stuck. Sitting on the bus next to Eros, and no that's not a metaphor that's really her name. Her mother was really into Greek mythology when she had her, and although I'm sure she would disagree, unfortunately for her she's lived up to her name. She's a total romantic. I like her name it's interesting and unique, unlike KIM. Can we say boring?

Today Eros is in a mood asking me if I think Jared with be back today, I decide to humor her with a slightly less than enthusiastic, "Maybe"

"I hope he's alright and not near death or something. He's been gone so long."

I roll my eyes she honestly sounds worried. "I'm sure he's fine, he's probably not even that sick. Just milking it ya know for more free time." _that definitely sounds like him_

"Ya think?" she ask sounding hopeful

I force a smile "Definitely." She sighs and relaxes back in her seat as I turn to look out the window lost in my thoughts.

_Jared…….Jared……Jared_. His name repeats in my head like stupid mantra that just won't quit!

There's one very important thing I should mention about myself besides the fact that I'm slender, five feet eight inches tall, wear glasses for reading, a Gemini, and get good grades, I'm extremely shy and quiet unless I know you then as Eros puts it I'm a bit crazy.

All that aside the main thing you should know is that I'm an excellent actress, I'm never fake with people, and I often hide what I'm really thinking or feeling. Keeping it to myself and Jared is definitely one thing I keep to myself.

I know what you're probably thinking crushing on my best friends crush but it's not like that. I liked him first I know lame excuse but it's not as if it matters, I will never get him, I will never even try. So what's the harm in letting Eros drool over him while pretending to care less, and being the supportive though sometime slightly annoyed at her obsessive behavior over him, which we both know will lead nowhere friend.

Jared Brummett

Let me tell you about Jared. I first noticed him in eighth grade a long time to like somebody since I'm now in the eleventh grade. My crush was basically mild until tenth grade when it went into hyper drive.

Everyone, including myself found out about the incident nearly a month after it had happened. Ryan Follins was accused by one of Jared's friends of stealing Jared's new iPod that he had received for Christmas which was black and silver design on the back along with his initials in the lower left hand corner, and it was common knowledge that Ryan Follins didn't have a lot of money but he loved music and his parents had saved to get him an iPod, which was his only Christmas gift that year. Which was now broken thanks to some jerks shoving him into the concrete on our first week back from Christmas break. He'd been so upset and I'd felt really bad for him. One of Jared's friends had seen his new IPod in Ryan's bag and had reported him to the principle and proceeded to go tell Jared about it.

I'd been standing by my locker with Eros, just a few feet down from where Jared stood with some of his friend's and Kelley Chaplin a gorgeous girl who he just happened to be dating at the time. We already knew about the whole incident of course since Erin had taken the liberty of spreading it around.

Erin had come running up to Jared spilling the whole story with indignation. Jared had listened to the story becoming more upset as Erin had continued. What happened next surprised everyone.

Jared had taken a deep breath then turned on Erin. "Please tell me you didn't?"

"What?" Erin had asked clearly bewildered

Jared took another breath. "How long ago did you tell Principle Mueiller?"

Erin didn't get to answer the question however because at that moment the school secretary Mrs. Clerment came walking around the corner and informed Jared that he was needed in the principal's office. Jared had taken one last hard look at Erin and then followed Mrs. Clerment to the office.

The whole story came out later that day. Jared had given Ryan the IPod. Apparently he'd heard what had happened and given it to Ryan. Of course the Principle had a hard time believing that until he called Jared's parents who confirmed that Jared had asked their permission and that a new one was on the way for him.

That was the day I fell in love with Jared Brummett, unfortunately it was also the day that Eros fell in love with him to. Which made me extremely relieved that I'd never confided in her

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he'd do something like that, I'd been enjoying the pretty face just like everyone else but apparently I'd been missing the rest of the picture. Yes he was getting another IPod, but how many people would even think to do something like that.

Over the next year I'd tried to drop my "crush" on Jared, if that's what you wanted to call it, but I just couldn't. In the end I decided it didn't matter. Why should it matter if I liked the same person as Eros? I would never have the chance to betray her; I would never have to make that choice. So why not fantasize about him, admire him from afar?

Jared and I moved in completely different orbits.

I had a few friends, but only one close friend. The rest where more fillers, friends to hand out with but never really confide in. One of my friend's, Benjamin who we all called Ben had once said to me, "It's like you live in a bubble your impossible to really get to, just when you think you're getting there you realize how far away you really are." He was perceptive like that. I had just smiled and shrugged my shoulders. I knew he was right but I didn't know why.

I had always been like that and although I never admitted it not even to Eros. I always feared that I would always be like that. How would I ever fall in love if I never let anyone get too close, truly know me. I tended to let people know me to a certain point, but I could never ever get comfortable enough to let them all the way in and it bothered me because it wasn't something I did on purpose. It was more like instinct

The bus came to a halt pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to see Eros looking at me.

She smirked at me. 'What are you thinking so hard about?"

I shrugged my shoulder and gave her a slight smile. "Nothing terribly important." I said letting out a small laugh.

She looked at me a moment longer before standing up and moving into the aisle to exit the bus. "Ok." She said rolling her eyes.

Ir seemed like she knew me far too well at times. I was always far away, always in my head and I rarely would say where it was I had went to no matter how important it was. She had learned not to pry, if I wanted, or need to tell her I would.

She changed the subject as we walked to our lockers, not prying. "What do you have today?"

"Hmmmm." I said pulling out my sheet from my folder. I bit my bottom lip squinting at my paper. A twitch my mother called it that always gave me away when I was stressed or nervous.

"Here," Eros said pulling my glasses from the side pocket of my backpack.

"Thanks." I said smiling up at her. The smile felt harder than it should have been for some reason I felt off and a bit down today. Who was I kidding I knew the reason why but I pushed it back for later. I was practiced in controlling my emotions, but lately this emotion was becoming harder to control.

"What's wrong? You seem a bit….. Distracted and…..down today." Eros said taking a closer look at me

I cringed inwardly away from her gaze. I hated it when people took an interest like that, I always felt like my eyes were in open book and they would see everything I was trying to hide.

"Nothing," I said monitoring the tone of my voice. "I just have a lot on my mind. Let's see I have History, Ancient Lit, and English eww (I hated English) then lunch of course."

Her face lit up. "Sweet let me know If Jared is in your Lit!" I rolled my eyes for her benefit

"Right, sure." I said smirking at her. She shoved me playfully.

"Well I have English to so I'll see yea then. What do you have after lunch?

I looked back down at my schedule. "Biology followed by Art."

"Wow three classed together today."

I smiled up at her. This brightened up my day considerably. I usually didn't talk to anyone in class unless it was Eros. The bell rang.

"See ya later then." I said

"Yea, I'll be waiting for my update. If he's here I'm going to be jealous of you in Bio."

My stomach twitched nervously. I sat next to Jared in biology. Which was hard because Eros sat right behind us so I had to keep my eyes front and center.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned heading to my first class.

I sat in History. Thinking about the past three weeks that had been relaxing and yet torturous. Relaxing because Jared wasn't there so I hadn't had to guard my eyes, my blush, my smile that popped up uncontrollably whenever I saw him.

It had also been torturous and if I might add a bit disturbing because Jared wasn't here. I missed him so much I ached. This worried me I wasn't an emotional person. I was worried about him and I missed him. I was frustrated because why the hell should I miss him, our lives had nothing to do with each other, there literally wasn't a chance in hell that they ever would. I thought I had been getting better at this. Damn it! I really couldn't lie to myself I obsessed over him more than Eros it seemed like. I honestly think I'm in love with him. No! I shouted in my head you'll get over this, you will it just a crush. _A crush, a crush you have for going on four years!_ I blocked out that thought I was not going there. Some things are better left unanalyzed. I was nothing if not logical.

Instead my mind wondered to the incident of four weeks ago. The incident I'd yet to tell Eros about and most likely never would. The one person I would tell if things were different.

Don't get me wrong I love Lapush, but it is a bit segregated

To the east you have the smallest houses and though no one will say it where the poorest of Lapush reside. To the south you have the middle class houses ranging from okay to nice and comfy. That's where I live two streets over from Eros. The people who live in this area don't struggle but they don't relax either. To the East the Ocean of course, First Beach as it's known, and finally to the North where the wealthiest of Lapush live. Their houses aren't exactly mansions, more like mini mansions I'd say. Ranging from anywhere to large five to ten bedroom houses some even have pools. There not snobby but they don't exactly mix, most of them are quiet nice actually and employ quit a few of the middle class of LaPush.

This is where Jared lives. This is the site of the incident.

My mother had picked me up from school that day because of a late art class. I'd gotten in the car and we'd pulled onto the main road, however when we'd gotten to the cross road she'd made a right instead of a left, the direction of our home and my sanctuary.

I'd looked over at her. "I thought we were going home? I have a ton of homework."

"Don't worry I won't be long I just have to drop of a last minute delivery." My mom was what you would call cute. With her short hair and glasses and thin physique. I only hoped I looked that good when I hit my forties.

"Mmm," I'd said turning back to my book oblivious to what was about to befall me

My mom worked in Port Angeles at Metasou'r. A high end bakery that also catered for parties and such. They had their main store in Seattle but ran a small one for tourist and brought stuff in from Seattle for larger parties. My mother was an awesome cook. It was a wonder I was thin.

The car had stopped but I'd been engrossed in "White Oleander," I new book my dad had bought me. We shared a love of reading so he was always grabbing something he'd heard about or read to share with me.

"Ok," my mom had said, turning off the car. "Let me just run these in to Mrs. Brummett and we can go." She said reaching into the backseat grabbing her folders and bag.

At the sound of that name my head had snapped up, book falling to the floor completely forgotten. She definitely had my full and undivided attention now.

I had never been to Jared's house before. It was nice. With huge dark tan brick with large windows surrounded by huge trees, giving you the feeling that you were in the middle the forest instead of just a few feet from the road.

I'd turned to her eyes wide, heart in a panic. I know it might sound stupid but in all my daydreaming and yearning I'd never really even considered speaking to Jared face to face. It was so far out of the realm of possibility that I'd never even considered saying hi to him. My daydreams where always abstract, fuzzy, and disconnected. How the hell would I act around him? Oh wait I know like the complete utter incompetent fool that I AM! Don't misunderstand I'm not completely inept when it comes to the world of males. I've kissed and flirted quit well I'm told. The problem comes in the degree of my liking. If I'm not head over heels for a guy they tend to like me because I'm not intimidated and therefore can be myself. When I do really like a guy……..forget it they don't notice me because I don't say ANYTHING!!! I seem quit and aloof or like a complete idiot. I'd liked a guy before Jared and even one during my Jared phase, but Jared was….different, worse, stronger. I didn't just feel nervous around him I felt truly scared and intimidated he was nice and friendly. At least he seemed to be open and friendly. I wasn't afraid that he'd punch me in the face or something…it was…I can't explain it right.

"What are we doing here?" I'd practically yelled my voice squeaking slightly.

My mom had turned to me giving me the look that is universally acknowledged as the "Are you crazy?" look.

She'd leaned back against the door a bit, her bag in her hand as if afraid I would attack. "I told you I had to make a delivery."

I relaxed my face and made a show of relaxing in my seat, or at least trying to. "Oh," I'd said nice recovery. Right!

My mom had looked at me a moment longer her eyes narrowing slightly. She wasn't use to me getting excited over anything little, that she didn't understand when I showed excitement or anger it was usually something big.

She smirked slightly then turned opening the car door. "I'll be right back." She said closing the car door behind her.

I watched her disappear around some shrubs heading for what I assumed was the front door. Then turned looking around frantically I didn't see his car and they only had a two car garage.

_If there is a God up in heaven please oh please don't let him pull up while I'm sitting here, either that or let me be a natural contortionist so that I may fold myself up under the seat !_

After what seemed like an eternity my mom appeared walking around the corner towards the car. I breathed a sigh of relief. _There is a God!_

She opened the door, but instead of getting in she stuck her head inside looking at me. "Come inside Mrs. Brummett has some last minute changes to go over and she didn't want you waiting out here in the cold. She said you could bring your homework inside." She said

_There is a God and he hates me, absolutely hates me._

I grabbed my bag from the floor and got out following my mom to the house. What other choice did I have? _Make a mad dash for the road?_

My heart was hammering as I walked to the door, but I knew my face revealed nothing but a small polite smile and maybe an ounce of boredom, I had practice. Mrs. Brummett was standing at the entrance she smiled at me ushering us inside. She was beautiful I could see where Jared' got his looks from at least his beautiful side. He had perfectly balanced features, all straight and perfect angles. A beautiful face that might have slipped over into pretty if it wasn't for his strong jaw and cheek bones which made him more handsome than pretty.

She was dressed sharply yet casually clothes that whispered expensive. She looked like she belonged, with her perfectly coiffed shoulder length hair and small silver studs.

She smiled over at me as she led us to the kitchen. I tried not to let my mouth drop her kitchen was beautiful with dark wood and sliver and deep blues, elegant yet homey and warm.

"Have a seat." She said pointing to island with the high backed chairs lined up on one side.

"Kim would you like anything?" she asked

"No thanks." I said giving her a small smile as I took a seat at the Island. _I wonder if this is the seat Jared uses. My heart gave its own little squeeze at the thought. Focus Kim, focus._

"Your mom told me you were in the car; I didn't want you to freeze." She said with a light laugh

I could only muster a small smile. I was completely socially inept, I sucked at small talk

She didn't seem to notice, 'You can go ahead and do your homework here, or in the study its right down the hallway."

"Here's fine." I said pulling my trig book from my bag

She gave me one last smile as she turned to my mom going over the dishes she wanted for the party and how she wanted them done. T knew about their parties they had several every year and some of the kids from school's parents were invited which meant they were invited. They threw awesome parties, or so I'd heard.

I'd only been doing my homework for maybe ten minutes when I heard a door open somewhere and loud laughter coming toward us.

Mrs. Brummett looked up then turned to my mom, "That'll be my son and his friends. Right on schedule." She said with a laugh. She laughed a lot but it didn't sound forced. Jared had her smile.

_Jared had a perfect smile._

Jared rounded the corner as I heard what sounded that a stamped going up some stairs located in another part of the house, _just how big was this place?_

He looked better than anyone, especially with that stupid face, had a right to. _Seriously is it not enough to dress nice and have a great personality! Must he look good too! He was put on this earth to torment me I just know it._ He wore light fitted jeans with a white long sleeved T-shirt and a black and white hoodie that had an orange hood, contrasting nicely with his skin I might add. He had great skin, darker than mine Carmel colored with deep red tint to it. The hood was pulled up with that slightly messy hair that he cultivated sticking out of the sides. His hair had a slight wave to it, not curly but not straight. Perfect.

I realized I was staring and quickly looked away. _Why didn't I take the stupid study when it was offered!_

He paused slightly when he saw us then nodded with a simple, "Hey," pulling off his hood as he headed for the fridge.

"Jared. This is Mrs. Alsup, and you go to school with her daughter," she opened her mouth to say my name but he spoke before she could

"Hey Kim." He said in his deep voice nodding in my direction. He had a nice voice soothing and yet almost intimidating at the same time.

I was looking at him, admiring slightly to be honest. My mouth dropped open, only slightly thankfully and I managed a meager, "Hey." Before quickly returning to my school work and pretending to read. My body was so rigid and tense I honestly thought my spine might snap.

I didn't look to see if he noticed my awkwardness, I didn't want to.

"Is that for the party?" He asked pulling a coke from the fridge and sauntering closer to the island where we sat. My heart rate sped up. _This is freakin ridiculous_, I thought bitterly.

"Yea some last minute changes. Who's over?"

"Luke n Torren, their not staying over long they have things to do, but Mallory's coming over later."

My head almost came up but I caught it in time,

"Mallory?" she said. I looked up in time to see her raise an eyebrow. I found myself liking her; she was so much like Jared.

He smirked at her then grabbed his coke from the counter, 'Yes mom Mallory, try and be nice this time." He said disappearing around the corner.

"I'm always polite!" she said hollering after him. He didn't reply

Throughout the rest of the visit, the entire car ride home, and throughout the night. One thought kept reverberating through my head.

_He knew my name! He Knew MY NAME!!_

The bell rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. I gathered my stuff and headed for my locker to exchange my books for my next class.

As I headed for my Ancient Lit class. I was unsure of my feelings. I told myself I wasn't sure if wanted Jared to be there or not, but deep down I knew the answer. I just didn't want to let it into my conscience because it labeled me pathetic in my opinion at least, but I'd decided to be more honest with myself when it came to my feelings about Jared. I mean I was pretty honest in everything else when it came to myself so why not this. Besides, I reasoned it was the only way I was going to get over this. By admitting just how obsessed and infatuated I was with him. How much I had a missed him.

I walked into my class and scanned the room. He wasn't there. My heart squeezed oddly in my chest. I bit back a frustrated growl. I was frustrated by myself. When it came to everything else I could control my emotions, my feelings, but not when it came to Jared. No. when it came to him it was free for all, unbridled, unstoppable. It made me nervous and I DID NOT LIKE IT!

I took my seat glancing at his desk, one row up to my left near the back of the class. Katy Pierce sat directly in front of me. She was pretty I couldn't deny it. With dark brown hair that looked light brown in the sun, slightly wavy, strong features that still managed to be beautiful unlike my small ones. Eros told me I was pretty, some guys seemed to find me attractive, but I didn't see it. I don't think I'm ugly but I don't think I'm a beauty either. I was curvy but to small in my opinion and I found my eyes to squinty.

Katy pierce.

The girl Jared lost his virginity to in tenth grade. I only know because he skipped out on fourth period to do it and one of his friends Nathan had sat in front of me at the time and apparently it had been common knowledge within their inner circle that Katy was going to lay Jared that afternoon at her house while her parents were out. After that day they'd been together for about five months and then parted as friends but it was common knowledge that whenever Jared and her were unattached they occasionally hooked up.

It didn't bother me that he slept with girls the way it seemed to Eros. I mean why should it? We weren't together; I had no rights to him.

Katy wasn't so bad her friend Samantha was a bit of a Bitch though. She'd caught Eros checking Jared out in the hallway a couple months ago and had sneered at her, "Dream on, He'd never look twice at a loser like you." She'd said it in a simpering sweet voice checking Eros as she'd walked by. Mallory, Kaitlyn and Katy had been walking with her. Mallory and Kaitlyn had laughed while Katy had just given us a blank look the turned and continued walking down the hallway grabbing Lana's arm as she walked by her, I remember wondering what she was thinking at that moment. I'd opened my mouth to give a smart ass reply but Eros had nudged me giving me a look, so I'd shut my mouth. Guys might intimidate me sometimes but girls most assuredly did not.

I'd been doodling on my note pad waiting for class to start when I'd heard the name that always managed to make my heart squeeze, a bit painfully truth be told

"Jared!" Katy said

I looked up in time to see her slide off her desk where she'd been sitting talking to kaitlyn.

THAT WAS NOT JARED! Was it?

My jaw hung open and for once I wasn't the only one other than Eros, starring at Jared with my mouth open. He was so different, it was eerie,

If Jared had made my heart stutter before, he just about stopped it dead. My stomach clenched almost painfully making me wince.

He was so tall. Charlie Tosen was standing near his seat at the front, and at 6'2 Jared was a good head above him making Jared about 6'7 I guessed.

It wasn't just his height it was everything. His body had changed. He'd been slightly built when he'd left but now he was more built yet thinner, leaner yet muscular. It seemed almost unnatural to me.

He gave Katy a slight smile that didn't quite meet his eyes then side stepped her and headed for his seat. Mr. Gellner entered the room then bringing order to the classroom, but throughout the class those who could do so snuck glances at Jared. It may have seemed rude but who could blame them.

This was not Jared. It was like something had taken over his body and stretched and changed him.

The longer I watched him the more changes I noticed. His hair was cut a lot shorter for one thing, but it still looked good messy and all over his head barley touching is neck. Even his mannerisms had changed from the way he sat to the way he walked, especially the way he walked. I'd noticed when he'd walked to his seat. Gone was the casual stroll, it was more like a graceful lope, he moved so smoothly if seemed abnormal. His face was different; it was not the soft face of my Jared. _MY JARED!! Whoa easy girl, that's taking it too far._

His face was so different harder, yet calm. The face of a man instead of a boy, he sat straighter he no longer slouched, and his eyes were so guarded yet calm they no longer held the laughter or warmth that I'd seen. His relaxed air seemed gone; He seemed tense and distant like he had a wall around him from the rest of the world. Yet somehow with all these differences I found myself, if it were possible even more drawn to him, attracted to him, less nervous. I starred at my desk puzzled that I didn't feel quite so tense and nervous around him as usual, even though I seemed more aware of him. I only felt anticipation the need to be closer, to touch him.

I put my head in my hand and sighed. I was really starting to lose it. This infatuation or whatever it was was getting out of hand.

Mr. Gellner walked down the aisle towards Jared's desk with a folder under his arm. He turned whispering to him laying the folder on his desk.

Jared listened patiently then looked up at him, "Yea, that's fine." He said

My heart jumped then, racing at the sound of his voice, I clutched at my chest, seriously fearing for my life. I took a few deep breaths and my heart seemed to calm a bit. This was really getting out of hand.

When the bell rang Jared grabbed his bag while collecting his folder, trying to keep the contents from spilling out. I was sitting at my desk slowly collecting my stuff so I could watch him out of the corner of my eye.

All of a sudden his head snapped up looking toward the door. I looked over at him then followed his gaze to the door where the last few students were leaving. A second later a man rounded the corner, no not a man a student. Paul Herrera

Paul nodded at Jared then jerked his head as if telling Jared to follow him. Jared quickly followed Paul out. My mouth once again fell open. It seemed like I had been doing that a lot lately.

I looked over at Katy she had the exact same expression on her face. Confusion. She looked over at Kaitlyn and they both turned to look at Charles.

"Since when is Jared friend's with Paul!?" Charles asked

I walked out past them into the hallway heading for English I looked around quickly looking for Jared but he had already disappeared.

They had made a good point since when does Jared even talk to Paul or when for that matter had Paul even acknowledged Jared. I'd probably talked to Paul more being that we'd had Algebra together last year. It was odd they hung out with two completely different sets of people. They dressed different acted different it made absolutely no sense.

I was just outside my English class when a thought hit me. I turned quickly and walked back to the girl's bathroom. I quickly looked at my cell phone I had three minutes I could make it. I went straight to the sink and took a look in the mirror. I quickly pulled my hair out of its usual messy twist and put on my glasses. I looked…..odd. Well for me anyways my lighter skin was flushed, color high and my eyes looked a bit to keyed up liked I was drugged I finished fixing my appearance and quickly headed to class praying that Eros wouldn't have time to question me to much I wasn't sure how well I could keep this new found fascination for Jared out of my voice.

I made it into the classroom just as the bell rung, but I was shit out of luck Mrs. Capeshu was late. Of course she was. One look at Eros and I knew she'd already heard the rumors about Jared that were probably flying around the school at light speed. Unfortunately I sit right behind her.

I noticed as I walked into the classroom that she wasn't the only one buzzing everyone else was whispering in tight groups and I heard a couple Jared's and Paul's being thrown out as I walked past heading to my seat. I felt a slight flicker of anger that they couldn't mind their own business. I wondered at it but didn't have much time for contemplation as Eros was practically bouncing out of her seat.

"O my God!" she said as I approached

I shook my head giving her an exasperated smile as I slid into my seat. I hoped it was convincing.

"So tell is what they say true or are they exaggerating!" She sat in her seat turning to face me

"What do they say?" I said leaning forward placing my hand under my chin raising an eyebrow. This was so much harder then it usually was. I felt odd unglued and worse yet even as I talked to her my mind was on Jared, more importantly worrying about Jared.

She rolled her eyes at me. 'O come on this is not the time to toy with me! This is far too important!" she practically squealed.

I cringed back slightly from her excitement. "Well," I said "He's very different taller, he acts a bit different." I said trying to keep my voice level but it trembled slightly I hoped fervently that she wouldn't notice.

"What else? What else?" she said bringing her hand toward herself as if trying to pull the information from me. I opened my mouth trying to think fast of what other details I could provide without giving myself away when she interrupted me.

"Is it true that he's hanging out with Paul now, and like none of his old friends?"

"It seems that way." I said with a shrug

She opened her mouth to ask me more but I was thankfully spared by Mrs. Capeshu rushing in and bringing the class to order

After the class I followed Eros out heading for the lunchroom.

"What's the rush?" I asked in a teasing tone.

She was slightly ahead of me and turned back to give me a look that said "As if you don't know."

She fell back slightly beside me and lowered her voice. "So I was thinking, Paul is definitely down the social rung so to speak compared to Jared, so…If Jared's hanging out with the Paul's now maybe he'll date in that range to?" she said arching her eyebrows and giving me a hopeful look.

Panic gripped my chest in a way it never had before when she'd talked like this before, because I realized she might have point. I shoved a hand in my pocket and lifted my head slightly as if in contemplation then turned to look at her slightly. "That's definitely a possibility." I said with a smile

She smiled at me as we hurried to the lunchroom.

I would not be that girl. If by some miracle she ended up with Jared I would not sabotage. I would not pout. I might slowly die inside but I would keep my mouth shut. You couldn't make someone love you and if Jared where to like her instead of me….so be it.

I was extremely nervous as walked into the lunchroom that I felt slightly nauseous and wondered if I'd be able to eat. I glanced over at Eros who was swiftly searching the cafeteria with her eyes. She leaned over to me, "I don't see him. Do you?" I did a quick sweep with my eyes and knew he wasn't there almost instinctively I didn't sense him.

That stopped me almost dead in my tracks and Eros had to nudge me to get me moving along into the line. _Sense him?_ I thought_, SENSE HIM!!! Maybe I really am going crazy._ I shook the thought from my head and tried to focus on what I wanted to eat.

"He's not here." Eros said leaning forward to whisper in my ear. "You don't think he went home do you? I really wanted to see what he looked like."

"I doubt it. He probably just went out for lunch."

My nerves calmed exponentially during lunch. With no Jared there I was able to relax and not have worry about controlling my expressions or my voice, but by the time the bell had rang and I was walking down the hall with Eros my nerves, stomach, and heart were all jumbled and doing their own thing. It felt like a thousand different thoughts were coursing through my brain.

_What if Jared's there? What if he's not there? If he is there what if I can't control my expressions? I have to sit next to him! Oh my God!_

Eros was prattling on about something, to which I we paying very little, if any attention to when she stopped talking in the middle of her sentence. Her sudden silence caught my attention. I looked over to find her staring at me with a worried and confused expression on her face.

"Are you all right?" she asked reaching out to feel my forehead. "You look a little….ill. Flushed actually."

"I'm fine. I just feel slightly queasy. I hope I'm not coming down with something."

She looked at me a concerned expression on her face. Then her face lit up slightly as she realized we had reached our class room. She grabbed the handle and rushed inside I was right behind her I headed to my seat no Jared. Paul was there though one row behind and to the left of the table Jared and I sat at. Eros took her usual seat behind me.

I pulled out my notebook and book to keep myself preoccupied. Just in case Jared showed up I could stop myself from staring as he walked to the table. Every time the door opened it took all my will power not to look up to see if it was him.

Mr. Lucwen was already there setting up today we got to dissect a frog and yes I was excited I loved science. I only hoped that if Jared showed up I loved science enough for it to still hold my attention, but I sincerely doubted it. I realized I had my eyes toward to front, not a wise idea. I quickly lowered them back to my book reviewing my notes from the last class.

The door opened and I felt my entire body tense and my heart squeeze in my chest, it was almost becoming familiar. Definitely not a good thing.

I knew it was him, especially when the whispers started. I heard him pull out his stool and sigh laying his bag on the table but I kept my eyes firmly on my book. Gripping the edge of it to reinforce my will.

I felt heat on my face but it didn't feel like a blush, it felt odd like someone was putting it there.

I reached in my bag for my glasses until realizing that I'd left them in my locker. Perfect. I felt the burn again and let my gaze drift to the side in Jared's direction. I quickly snapped my stupid, uncontrollable orbs back front and center, but not before seeing that Jared was looking at me as if trying to figure something out.

Mr. Lucwen began his lesson telling us how we'd be skipping the dissection today instead watching a video because we were going to have to pick some creature from our text and do a joint paper on it. The whole class groaned there was nothing worse than a joint project. There was however a silver lining although I wasn't so sure it was silver for me. We got to pick our own partners. The whole class breathed an audible sigh of relief.

I wasn't sure if I was relieved. Before today I definitely would have been relieved, but now I didn't feel sick with nerves around Jared. I felt more of a nervous excitement, and adrenaline rush. The queasy anxious feeling had left as soon as he got near me. In its place was only excitement and at the same time calm and feeling of completeness. _Not good. Not good._

I'd made a fatal mistake. I'd let me mind wander and with it my eyes. I felt a jolt of heat and electricity my heart started racing just like when I heard his new voice this morning. That's when I realized I was staring at him and even worse he was staring at me. I didn't take time to study the expression on his face I quickly moved my head back to the front. Only two thoughts moving coherently through my frantic brain.

_Eros saw that I know it! Jared thinks I'm a freak, a weirdo. And possibly a stalker._

"_So," Mr_. Lucwen was saying. "Pick a partner and then one of you come up here and grab a packet fill out the form inside and then you can begin working and deciding who will do what. Don't forget this is a big part of your grade."

My heart was racing and I felt really confused by my emotions and my instincts. I was pretty sure that I'd passed the crush point and was full on in love with Jared. I kept finding myself leaning toward him wanting so badly, not necessarily to touch him, although that would be nice, but just to be close to him it felt almost like need. Like needing to breath or eat.

I took a deep breath and got ready to turn and face Eros praying that she hadn't seen me staring at Jared even though I was pretty sure she couldn't have missed that. It didn't really matter I already had an excuse prepared. I would simply tell her that I hadn't seen him up that close and was simply shocked by the change in his entire appearance. "Didn't you notice it?" I would say

I was halfway turned around when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and looked up. Way up to see Jared with an odd smile on his face like he's just found his long lost puppy or the crown jewels or something . He seemed to know something I didn't _yea you idiot like how you were staring at him!_

"Hey,' he said his voice was soft yet somehow deep and strong. It had a familiar ring to it same as the old, yet deeper and more mature.

"Hey," I said _Brilliant Kim!_ I tried to say it normally even though I felt out of breath and slightly lightheaded

He gave me my favorite smile it met his guarded eyes and warmed them removing the guard completely. He stared back at me, looking at me, seeming to almost study me. His gaze felt like fire to much heat. I looked back at him trying to read his face. Trying to decipher just how much of a freak he might think I was.

Understanding was easy, oddly so. He was admiring me, studying me, memorizing me with his eyes. Which didn't make any kind of sense, my instinct told me I was dead on while my brain screamed at me that I was crazy and should seek psychiatric help immediately, because I just might be losing my grip on reality. I wondered at it because I didn't feel nervous or self conscious like I thought I should. I felt all my nerves melt away. I felt safe, relaxed, loved, and content. It was over whelming.

I felt myself relax in my seat, even though my heart rate still seemed a bit abnormal.

I tilted my head to the side studying him some more then smiled. "Was there something you wanted?" I said letting out a short laugh.

His smiled even bigger then and shifted his body moving slightly toward me. I gasped slightly taking in extra air as my heart rate sped up again. I picked the wrong moment to take a deep breath his scent hit me full force. I couldn't describe it even if I tried it was like it was made just for me all warmth, not quite sweet more fresh, it made me think of green things and cool ocean water on a hot day with the sun beating down, and fresh clean sheets along with a million other things. I leaned forward slightly without thinking. I quickly straitened up confused. He smiled and took another step toward my chair closing the gap between us. Along with his scent I could now feel his body heat, it was overwhelming.

I was seriously about two seconds from standing up and just hugging him, anything to get closer to him. At that thought my head cleared a bit I gripped my chair and leaned back from him trying to clear my head while preventing myself from making a fool out of myself. I looked back at Jared but he wasn't looking at me. I followed his gaze he was looking at Paul.

Paul's lips moved slightly, but no sound came out. Jared glanced back at me his eyes narrowed slightly and then he smiled taking a step back from me. My head cleared a little and I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked stupidly

He smiled effectively melting my insides. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my partner for the project since were already lab partners?"

"Sure," I said, God his voice was so…so… sensual was the only word I could think of.

He smiled again and it literally took my breath away.

It was an odd smile, beautiful yet odd because it seemed to say so much, be filled with so much emotion that seemed to seep right into me.

He gave me one last smile before turning to go up and retrieve our packet. As my head cleared one thought occurred to me. Jared was the one. Not **The one** although he was definitely in the running, but the one I would let break me, break my heart. He was already through my wall, had torn down all my defenses and somehow……I couldn't bring myself to care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All original characters belong to SM**

**A/N: I have posted a pic of how I picture Jared on my profile , just picture him looking older and a bit darker but I thought this face was perfect it has all the right angles along with Hanna (a new character), Katy and Jared's sister so take a look. I will try to add some more character photo's as the story goes along or scenery of Lapush and stuff. I really wanted to find a character photo of Eros but I couldn't find anything that was acceptable she's cute but not gorgeous. I will also try adding character outfits to show you what their basic style of dress is. Also as always please review and let me know what you think. At this point I'm not entirely sure where I'm taking this story. So if you have ideas of where you'd like to see it go or things you would like to see happen please share and I will definitely consider them or try and work them into the story somehow Last but certainly not least,**

**Thanxs to**

**Angelikmely**

**Clearliquicrytal**

**BabeBoAngel**

**And especially**

**Mango**

**For reviewing I really appreciated it!!**

**And all those who added me to their alerts and favs – which is why this next chapter is up so soon!**

**Artis (are-teese)**

**Jael (Jay-L)**

**Jaidon (Jay-done)**

**Katy(Cat-ee)**

**Chapter 2**

I looked up; Jared was standing at Mr. Lucwen's desk holding the packet, receiving last minute instructions.

I lowered my head and took a deep breath. I could not believe this was happening.

_Jared….Jared….Jared_

I could not believe….ANYTHING! I could not believe he was talking to me, smiling at me. What, had his personality decided to do a three-sixty in the last three weeks? Where had he been?

I put my hand on my forehead. I was seriously starting to get a slight stress headache. My brain was trying to move to fast, trying to take it all in. I was thinking too much, I had to calm down. I decided to shelve it until later.

I decided I was probably overreacting. I looked up, Jared was still standing by the desk he seemed anxious and slightly annoyed as Mr. Lucwen handed Jared another folder similar to the one Mr. Gellner had laid on his desk in Ancient Lit. He looked back at me and I couldn't control the slight smile that came to my face. He smiled back and then turned his attention back to Mr. Lucwen.

That's when it occurred to me. I was totally over analyzing everything Jared was doing! I REALLY WAS CRAZY! Putting emotions and feeling into the looks he was giving me. Things, if I was being honest with myself, I desperately wanted to see, but wanting did not bring fantasy to reality.

Of course he was being nice, of course he was smiling at me, of course he was friendly. _For god sake KIM!_

He was like that with everyone. Wasn't he? The only difference was that usually when he acted like that they weren't some obsessed love crazed groupie.

I felt so stupid, silly, and foolish, but grateful at the same time. He'd talked to me, he wanted to be my partner which meant he didn't hate me and if he wanted to be my friend, that was fine by me. I smiled slightly at and shook my head. Yeesh I was acting as bad as Eros, getting my hopes up.

_Eros!_

At that thought my head whipped around looking behind me. Not bothering to contemplate what would happen, what I would say, or how I'd explain my inexplicable behavior. She was not there. Her usual lab partner Jamie Spenera was there but she was sitting with another girl, what I assumed was her partner for our joint project.

I looked around before I spotted her almost all the way up near the front sitting at a table with Sean, Ben's best friend. She wasn't looking at me, thankfully. I couldn't read her face though she just appeared to be looking through the text with Sean. Obviously trying to decide on an animal for their project.

My thoughts of guilt quickly disappeared, with the return of Jared. I looked up at him as he sat down giving me a slight smile. I almost returned his smile full force, but caught myself at the last minute and returned a polite yet uninterested smile instead.

_Finally a bit of control, way to go Kim!_

He frowned at me leaning slightly closer."What's wrong?"

The tone of his voice took me by surprise almost as much as his question. How had he noticed that? I could feel my face; feel that my expression was dead on. I was pulling off some of my best work here! His voice was soft and honestly…..caring. Which surprised me.

"N-nothing." I bit my lip. Ok that was so not even remotely convincing but He'd caught me off guard.

He opened his mouth as if to refute my answer. I panicked. It wasn't all due to the fact that he'd noticed my disappointment in my inability to control my imagination, or my worry over the fact that I'd probably inadvertently hurt Eros. No, I was terrified that if he asked me again I would tell him. It had seriously taken a good deal of will power, much more than it should have, to lie and tell him nothing was wrong. It was almost instinct to tell him the truth.

_What the hell!_

Luckily for me he seemed to see the fear in my expression and backed off. For which I would be eternally grateful. Since I seemed to have lost the ability to not only act well, but keep my big, fat, stupid mouth shut. Talk about your verbal diarrhea,

He gave me one last unsure smile, which I tried to return and failed miserably.

He took the packet and begin taking out its contents. He set them on the table between us and then moved his chair slightly closer.

My heart rate sped up. His eyes flickered to me then back to the papers almost too fast for me to follow. Almost as if he'd heard my heart rate increase as his proximity had. Thankfully human ears were not that sensitive.

"Ok," he said looking seriously at the paper. "He's given us a syllabus for the project with instructions, the yellow paper has to be filled out and given to him before we leave the class today, and the two white sheets are for us."

I loved the sound of his voice. I honestly think I could sit and listen to him read from the dictionary and be completely enthralled. _Pathetic!_

It was amazing…..absolutely amazing that part of my brain could be studying him so intently. While the other part could still pay attention to what he was saying. He was so….amazing to watch especially when he was concentrating, since it meant the chances of him catching me staring, like the fool I was, greatly decreased.

He leaned back on his chair and smiled at me. "So how's your writing?"

"Um…" I bit my lip

He smiled even wider

"What?" I asked smiling

He chuckled slightly and it felt like an excess of heat and blood had rushed into my chest making it a bit too tight.

"You're going to chew through your lip if you keep doing that." He said nodding at my mouth

_SHIT! How many times has he noticed that?_

I quickly released my lip and changed the subject.

"My writing?"

"Yea, mine is horrible."

"It's pretty good….now."

"Now?" he said his brow slightly furrowing. He looked adorable

I laughed at that thought and ran my fingers through my hair. He tensed when I did that. I looked up at him but his face revealed nothing. I decided to ignore it.

_What had I been about to say? Oh right!_

"Aahh…yea when I was about nine my writing was horrible; some kid saw it and made fun of me. So I got my feelings all hurt and didn't want to write anymore..."

"Who was the kid?" The tone of his voice caused me to look up at him, which I had been trying not to do since it made me feel….to full, to complete. It made me feel off balance.

His face was serious and slightly….Angry? Was he actually mad about the fact that some kid had hurt my feeling over eight years ago? The thought made me giggle slightly. Especially since that kid was him. I laughed again. He probably didn't even remember.

"What?" I looked up at him my eyes locking with his

"Nothing." I said "So anyways, my mom took calligraphy when she was in college, and still has this impeccable penmanship that looks like something out of a Jane Austen movie. So she offered to work with me." Why was I telling him this stupid story!

I looked up at him trying to decipher just how much I was boring him.

His expression was not what I expected. He seemed completely captivated, his stare intent taking in every word I was saying. I quickly turned back to the papers on the table before my imagination could pull any more ridiculous notions from one simple expression.

I looked over the sheets of paper then handed him one of the white sheets of paper and went to work filling out the yellow sheet.

"So basically," I said "We just have to put our names and the subject of our paper on this yellow sheet and then hand it in. The paper itself is due in three weeks." I said looking over the syllabus.

"If were unhappy with our partner we have till Friday to file a complaint…" I trailed off feeling the heat on my face again.

I looked up at Jared and my breath caught. He was staring at me with the sweetest expression on his face. I felt my heart throb, a seriously felt teary. This was so stupid! I never cried. Was I honestly imaging all this, seeing things and making interpretations on his facial expressions that were exaggerated and simply not there?

I turned back to the desk, I felt like I was trembling slightly, like when you get off a roller coaster or at the end of a haunted house and the rush of adrenaline is making you feel all wobbly and slightly disjointed.

"So," I said my voice slightly shaking. "I guess the first thing to do is pick our subject." I grabbed my text book and set to work.

Throughout the rest of the class it was comfortable. We worked together making small talk, although it seemed like more than that. We discussed movies, school, and music. Jumping from topic to topic. It was relaxed and comfortable, and yet soooo not comfortable and relaxing.

Intense yet relaxing which is odd in itself. Odder still was the fact that I kept trying to stop talking so much, but Jared kept pulling me back into talking. He would skip around from subject to subject asking me question until hitting on something that I was passionate about. Seeming to sense that I wouldn't be able to give a short or one word answer on the subject.

I would have been even more embarrassed and felt even more foolish if it weren't for the fact that every time I looked up at him, he seemed too engrossed and captivated by every little thing I was saying. Which would have been even nicer and more flattering if it weren't for the fact that I so desperately wanted to hear him talk, hear more about HIM. Hear the sound of his wonderful voice while enjoying the way it made me feel safe and secure.

I finally succeeded when there was a little less than twenty minutes left in the class and we had finished filling out our forms, deciding on a subject, and deciding on who would do what. That was the part I was most satisfied with.

Mr. Lucwen had made it so that if we wanted to we barely had to communicate with each other to do this joint project. You could divide the paper into sections, giving each person the parts they would do and then writing it on the white sheets of paper we had been given. Then each person could do the research on his or her own and write their part of the paper and then meet up and put it together. Meaning the amount of hours you would need to spend together to complete this project would be relatively few.

Jared, however had decided that this was not quite acceptable, and that we would need to collaborate more, and do our research and parts together, just so there wasn't any mix-ups or misunderstandings.

This shocked the hell out of me, but I wasn't complaining. I honestly felt like squirming like a little happy puppy at the thought of all the time this would require us to spend together. Pathetic!

The bell rang. I stood collecting my things, unable to help the slight smile on my lips from my Jared contact high. I expected him to leave as soon as he had gathered his things since I was handing our yellow sheet in, but he didn't. When I looked up he smiled at me standing there waiting it seemed, for me?

Kaitlyn was in this class, as I glanced around the room she caught my eye. She was standing collecting her stuff facing me she gave me a slightly bewildered and angry expression before turning and marching our of the class room none too pleased. Perfect.

I didn't miss who was standing slightly behind her off to my right collecting her things; I decided not to look directly at her just in case she was looking at me.

I finished gathering my thing Mr. Lucwen was coming down the row collecting papers I handed ours to him and turned unsure what to do, Jared stepped aside to let me pass smiling at me, I gave him a slight smile and moved toward the door.

At that moment Paul passed him giving him an amused and slightly exasperated look and shook his head. Jared just gave him a smug smile and shrugged his shoulders.

It was odd they seemed close, like brothers or something. Which was fine of course. FINE IF THEY HAD, IN THE LAST ELEVEN YEARS WE HAD GONE TO THIS SCHOOL SAID AT LEAST TWO WORDS TO EACH OTHER.

When I got out of the class room I moved out of the door way and slightly to the left unsure of what to do.

"What's your next class?" I looked up at him he seemed hopeful.

"Art." I said he seemed slightly disappointed then his face lit up a bit, like something amazing had just occurred to him.

"You like to draw?" his tone was slightly awed.

"Yea. I love to draw."

"Cool" he said. "I have English, opposite way so I'll see yea." He said sounding slightly disappointed again

I smiled. "Bye. See ya later."

He turned then heading to his next class but he stopped abruptly almost jerking back his hand went to his chest rubbing slightly where his heart was.

I took a step toward him. "Are you okay?"

He looked down at me, a slightly confused expression on his face. Then he laughed slightly as if realizing something

"Yea, fine." He laughed again and shook his head. "Great actually."

He winked at me. "I'll catch ya later." Turning down the hall heading for his next class

I was so very thankful that when he winked at me I had been so close to the wall, with my hand on it. Firstly so I did not fall over and secondly so that I was able to cover my going weak in the knees and nearly falling over as simply leaning against the wall. I really hoped I had fooled him but somehow I sincerely doubted it.

Sean walked out of the class room then, glancing at me oddly. I turned quickly heading to my next class

I was so glad the day was over and yet dreading the fact that it was. Why was I always in the middle of a conundrum?

I was glad it was over because all I wanted to do was make it to the safety of my home and think over all that had happened today. The day felt like it had lasted for weeks. So much had happened.

I was dreading it because I was going to see Eros. What was I suppose to say. I reasoned to myself that there was nothing to say. Nothing had happened. It wasn't like he had asked me out or anything. I snorted at myself. _As if!_

My heart stopped as Eros slide through the crowd coming to walk beside me. It had completely slipped my mind that we always met at this intersection on Monday's because I usually had Art, and she had Ancient Lit.

"Hey." I said as casually as I could manage. I had no idea what else to say. What could I say?

We were silent until we reached our lockers. We opened them grabbing what we needed, returning what we didn't. She finished first and turned to me. Here it comes. I took a deep breath

"Are you still coming over today?" I looked at her, confused.

"You were going to help me and Hanna with our art projects for Mr. Hall's class?"

_Shit! I'd completely forgotten about that, but considering the events of today I think I could be forgiven._

Mr. Hall was a great art teacher and very interesting, but he had a habit of picking difficult and challenging art projects for us to do and since I had inherited my mother's artistic talent and got A's in his class I'd volunteered to help Eros, Hanna had heard us at lunch and asked if she could join. I didn't mind I wasn't close to her at all, no fault of hers. She was one of those generally nice people who had a bit of a bite to her she was pretty cool but she was still just a filler friend, my own fault.

"Oh yea, that's fine. It just slipped my mind." I said "Your house right?"

"Yea, Hanna has a different bus, so she's getting dropped off and then she's going to borrow her mom's car and meet us there."

"Ok. That's fine." I said. She was making me nervous her voice was normal but it sounded slightly controlled and her expression was slightly off I knew Eros, she was waiting for a private moment. Knowing she wouldn't get anything out of me surrounded by people.

"I'll go straight to your house I…." I trailed off. I had finished putting my stuff away and closed my locker glancing up at her, but her expression had stopped me. Her gaze was slightly above my head and off to my left.

I turned around and took a step back slightly.

"Jared!" I said my tone a little too excited. _DAMN HIM!_

H e smiled, a huge grin breaking across his face. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. This was a huge change from his demeanor this morning.

Eros spoke behind me. 'I'll meet you at the bus." Her voice completely level.

I turned to her to say ok but she had already turned heading for Sean, Hanna, and Ben who were standing by some lockers watching us._ I am a traitorous bitch!_

I turned back to Jared and managed a shaky smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked glancing in the direction Eros had gone.

"Fine." I said "What did you want?" I said I little sharper than I had intended.

He looked slightly taken aback but more hurt, almost as if wondering what he had done, he looked at me seeming to search for the answer in my eyes. My stomach clenched as I saw the slight hurt look on his face that disappeared as quickly as it came. It was like it physically hurt me to see him hurt.

_I am such a FREAK._

"I'm sorry Jared." I said reaching out to touch his arm, but I caught myself and quickly pulled it back.

I looked down at my shoes. "I was mad at myself, not at you." I looked back up at him

He had this slightly awed expression on his face.

"What?" I asked smiling, his expressions were always surprising me, always unexpected and while it seemed that with Jared it was always easy to read his expression I couldn't begin to fathom the reason behind them. They made absolutely no sense to me.

"That's the first time you've ever said my name." He said still sounding slightly awed as if he'd just made some life altering discovery.

I was….slightly stunned. An "Oh" was all I could manage

He shrugged and shook his head as if he was confused himself "I just liked how it sounded."

I blushed. I looked back up at him. Now he seemed slightly worried about my reaction to what he had just said. I smiled at him and the worry disappeared.

We stood staring at each other for a bit until I realized that he'd come over for a purpose.

"You were going to ask me something?" I said

He blinked. 'Oh right." He laughed. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come over and start working on the project."

I laughed "Anxious to get to it uh." I marveled at how natural it sounded. How natural it felt, considering who it was I was making small talk with, not to mention the fact that Jared…JARED!!!! Had just asked me if I'd like to come over his house, ok it was for our science project, but still. I was about to follow it up with a sure. When the rational part of my mind decided to kick me in the ass and remind me that I had a prior commitment.

"I can't" I cringed at the regret in my tone and hoped that he hadn't noticed it. I looked up, hoping he wasn't too disappointed. I checked myself. He would not be disappointed by the simple fact that I could not spend the afternoon with him. No, that ball was completely in my court

I was right he didn't look disappointed; he looked slightly confused he studied my eyes. I wanted to look away but I couldn't he stepped closer to me.

"Well, can I give you ride home?"

My heart skipped a beat. I resisted the urge to wince. "No," I said studying his face.

He took a step back giving me the slightest of crooked smiles. "Oh, Okay." He said lightly but it did nothing to disguise the hurt in his eyes. My stomach clinched, again. I was being ridiculous seeing what I wanted to see. Wasn't I?

My intuition flared.

He thought I didn't want to be around him, he was respecting my decision, making it easy for me, by trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, like he was okay with it, but why? It made no sense. I decided to quickly correct his misconception.

"I would love to but I'm going to Eros's house when I leave here, not home."

"Oh," He said his mood lightened.

"I could still drop you." He said hopefully

I smiled at that. "Really you don't have to its fine."

"I want to." He said as if confused as to why I would think he would do it out of obligation and not out of want.

"Please." He said softly

He said it so fervently. _How the hell am I suppose to say no to that face, that voice? If anyone has an answer please tell me_.

I am completely and utterly convinced that anytime you ask yourself how your suppose to say no to a guy your attracted to or seeing you are in deep shit!!

"Ok." I said

He breathed an audible sigh and I laughed. I know it sounds bad but Eros did not even enter my mind until we turned to head for the main doors and I realized she was no longer standing there. That's when I realized the hallways were completely empty.

As we exited the building I saw that the buses had already left. Jared laughed.

"Looks like you didn't really have a choice anyways."

"I don't mind." I said

His smirk broke into a full grin then. I felt my heart squeeze.

_Note to self: check with doctor to see if erratic heart behavior can be dangerous to health_

We reached Jared's car and he clicked the locks. I reached for the door handle but he beat me to it opening the door for me.

I looked up at him a little shocked but then smiled and slide into the car. No one had ever done that for me, I mean my dad didn't even do that for my mom.

Jared's car was nice, black and silver with black leather interior. He turned the car on and some loud heavy metal song came on saying something about "I'm an animal." He turned it down

"Who is that?" I asked

"W.A.S.P.." he said

"WASP?" I said raising an eyebrow at him.

"They're classically awesome." He said

I burst out laughing at that. 'Classically awesome?" I said trying not to laugh

"You heard me." He said looking over seriously.

I laughed again. "What song was that?"

He was silent for a minute, the laughed. "Fuck like a beast." He said laughing again. I seemed to be missing some inside joke.

Now I'm not sure why (yea right!) or what it was exactly about hearing the word "Fuck" come out of Jared's mouth, but it definitely made my insides squirm slightly.

Jared picked up the conversation where we'd left it in Biology but I quickly changed it back to things he liked to get him talking asking about his older brother and his sister who I knew very little about. I only knew that is brother, Jaiden was at college all the way in L.A., was twenty years old, hadn't been home in over a year, and although they were close in age they were not close. I knew his sister Jael mostly by reputation only but I'd seen her a few times she was gorgeous just like Jared, 15 and occasionally hung out with Katy, Mallory and the rest of the girls that Jared hang around apparently Katy was very close to her.

"So, do you miss your brother?" I asked

"No." was all he said

"What's your mom's name?" I asked

He looked over at me smiling. "Why?"

"Just wondering, she reminds me a lot of you."

He smiled at me an odd expression on his face. "Jerusha." He said

"That's a unique name. Was it her idea to give you all J' names?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes."

I laughed at his expression

"I think it's kind of corny." He said. I shrugged

He looked at me skeptically. 'Admit it." He said "It's kind of corny."

"Yea," I said "Alright it's kind of corny." I laughed

"What's your Dad's name?"

"Vail."

"How do you spell that?"

"V-A-I-L, but the I is silent so it sounds like veil."

"Are you close with him?" I asked

"No. he died when I was eleven."

I didn't know what to say. Why didn't I know this! I thought I'd seen him with his dad.

"_**Philip**_ is **NOT** my father." He said it in a way that made it clear.

"You don't like him."

"I don't hate him, he treats us good and everything…..I just…"

"He's **NOT **your dad." I said

"Exactly, my dad…" he paused. I was unsure whether or not I should change the subject. It seemed a bit hard for him

"My dad was…..different. I don't know how to explain it. He was awesome though. He just had that way of making everything ok, making you feel….loved.

"I know the feeling." I said looking down at my hands. Apparently Jared had inherited that talent from his father. "How did he…" _me and my big stupid mouth!_

"Die." Jared finished

"Sorry." I mumbled "You don't have to talk about this with me if you don't want to."

"It's fine. I actually don't mind. Surprisingly."

"Surprisingly?"

"I don't talk about my father. I just don't, usually, but with you it's easy." He smiled over at me.

"Good." I said

"He had a brain aneurism. My mom came home and found him slumped over the table. They said he died instantly. My mom stayed in bed for months and then one day we came home….and the house was spotless, but it was months before she talked. And sometimes I'd wake up at night and hear her sobbing or she'd wake up screaming. She really loved him. They loved each other a lot". He laughed. "It was kind of gross sometimes I'd come home and catch them making out on the couch or in the kitchen. "He laughed

"A little over a year later she met and married Phil. I….she…likes him, loves him I guess, but nowhere near how she loved my father."

"So none of you are his?"

He shook his head. "No."

"And your last name?"

" Brummett is not my last name. She changed it without asking us. I was so mad when I found out I threw a huge tantrum, didn't speak to her for months, **apparently Phil**…wanted it….so." he said with a shrug.

"But when I turn eighteen, I'm changing it back **immediately."**

"What was your last name?" I said. It kind of irked me that I didn't know Jared's **real **name.

"Artis." He said.

"Why'd she….marry him if she didn't feel nearly what she'd felt for your father?"

"Because…so we could have the life we have, I think that's a big part of it. And she liked him enough to marry him and be reasonably happy. My father wasn't rich he was just….normal."

"That's why you're so close to your mom." I said

"Yea." I studied him carefully making sure I wasn't making him uncomfortable. "That and I remind her a lot of my dad. I look more like her, but apparently I act a lot like him."

"What does your… Phil do?" I ask

"Market Analyst, he travel a lot. Why all the questions?" he asked

"Do my questions bother you? Right here this one on the right." I said pointing to Eros's house

I wondered if she was here already I looked at my watch, I doubted it but she would be here soon, I really hoped Jared was gone by then.

I removed my seat belt. He put it in park and turned to me and smiled then he reached over I resisted the urge to cringe away from his touch. I wanted it so badly but I was afraid of how much I would feel. I was pretty sure my heart at been through enough today.

He simply brushed my hair back behind my ear revealing more of my face, but his finger lingered in my hair resting against my neck, his skin was so warm, no hot was a better word, it was so hot in fact that the heat of it seemed to seep into my skin and move outwards. It was an odd feeling, but nice, my breathing picked up, my heart, thankfully didn't race or squeeze but simply picked up the beat a bit pushing against my chest. I studied his face. It was smooth as he studied me staring at my hair. His gaze slid over slightly to the right resting on my throat his lips parted and his eyes slightly narrowed, his breathing picked up, he moved his gaze upward slowly, resting on every part of my face, when he got to my lips his breathing slightly hitched, before his gaze continued, he met my eyes and sighed.

"I find you…….so beautiful."

I blinked…….hard! Shocked

_Did he just say what I think he just said!_

He said it so honestly, passionately, and unabashedly that I had only one reply.

"Are you messing with me?"

He looked at me like I was the one who was crazy.

He shook his head slowly. 'No, no I wouldn't do that."

I believed him but I was still confused. He smiled at me. I gave him a slight smile then looked out the window trying to bring my emotions under control.

"And no to your other question." I turned to look at him

"No, your questions don't bother me. I was just wondering why you were asking them."

"I…I'm just curious about you."

He let out a small laugh, "You're much more intriguing then I am."

"You're wrong." I said shaking my head "I'm not that complicated, I can assure you."

He laughed "You are, you're always in your own world, it's like nothing really touches you. Even when you talk to people it's like you're not really there, I always wondered why that was.

My mouth fell open I was dumbfounded, baffled, and a bit excited

_He noticed me! When? _

I desperately wanted to ask him. I had always been under the impression he didn't know I existed. That was until I found out on that fateful day that he actually knew my name, but never did it even enter my thoughts that he might have noticed me or even contemplated my existence, but before I could ask he spoke.

"So what are you doing after school tomorrow?"

"Nothing." I said he turned at the sound of my voice. I was still awed by his confession. He studied my expression for a minute before continuing.

"Can…can we get together tomorrow after school to work on the project?" I smiled he sounded nervous as if he was afraid I would say no. That definitely wasn't going to happen, not after the things he'd said.

_Your beautiful? OH MY GOD!!!_

"Sure." I felt utterly stupid but I just couldn't help the big grin that spread across my face.

"Is it okay if we do it at my house?" Ok now I was a bit nervous, did I really fit in at his houses?"

"My mom is expecting a delivery and I promised her I would go straight home." He said

"Yea sure that's fine."

He sighed looking out the windshield then looked back over at me smiling. "I should let you go, it's getting late and you have things to do." He sounded disappointed, so was I.

"Yea." I said I grabbed my bag and reached for the handle. "I'll see you tomorrow." I opened the door

"Kim?" he said my heart gave its all too familiar-not so little squeeze at the sound of my name on his lips. My name had never sounded like that before, never!

"Yeah?"

"Do you want I ride to school tomorrow?"

_Sweet Mary mother of God!_

YES! Was so on the tip of my tongue, but I stifled it, remembering whose house it was that I was sitting in front of.

My shoulders slumped, "I can't, sorry. I really am." I said "but my friend hates to ride the bus same as me and I'm not sure she'd forgive me if I abandoned her twice." _Especially since she's practically in love with you._ I silently added

I looked at him but he didn't appear upset, he smiled "I understand." He said

"Bye." I said

"See you tomorrow." I shut the door and headed for the front porch, turning as he drove away.

I stood on the porch and rang the bell and took a deep breath praying that Eros wasn't already home since I'd been sitting in her driveway for how long?

Sure enough Hanna answered the door. She gave me an odd almost knowing smile

"We're in the dining room come on in." She said holding the door open for me. I gave her a small smile, the most I could manage. Now that Jared was no longer present. My brain was clearing, my rational was returning, along with my memory, and nerves. Mind racing, check. Heart rate out of control, yep!

I made my way into the dining room. Eros was sitting at the head of the table, Hanna's stuff was spread out across from me, I set my bag on the table and begin pulling my books out since Eros and I were suppose to work on homework after this.

Eros looked up at me but didn't smile, she simply launched into the project, her ideas, and how far she'd gotten, then Hanna went into hers comparing and contrasting. I gave pointers looking over what they had done, going through the project syllabus. After a bit Eros headed to the kitchen asking us if we wanted anything. Hanna opted for a coke and some chips. I declined, I was too nervous to eat anything, my stomach was in knots.

Eros disappeared down the hall heading toward the kitchen. I let out a slight sigh. I wondered how bad this was going to be. She was waiting for Hanna to leave which would be soon.

I looked across the table to find Hanna looking at me with a slight smile on her face. What did she know?

"What?" I asked my voice was steady. Of course now my emotions decide to be controllable.

'Congratulations." She said with a slight laugh. I would have been insulted or even pissed but her tone wasn't mocking. She sounded like….like she meant it.

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out, I didn't know what to say.

"It's about time. You've liked him for…what's it been about four years now."

I opened my mouth, then closed it, the opened it again, this time managing to squeak out a small "How." I shook my head unable to know what to say.

She rolled her eyes then shrugged her shoulder. "Pa=lease," she shook her head. "A blind man could see the way you practically try to disappear whenever he get's within ten feet of you. I don't know how no one else seems to notice. Not trying to be rude, but your misery was pretty damn funny at times." She said laughing.

I frowned at that. I thought I was being very coy, no one else noticed.

She seemed to know what I was thinking "I know," she said shrugging again "You're usually good, it's usually hard to know what your opinion is on something unless you decide to voice it, and anyhow I noticed him looking at you to." She said

My eyes widened at that statement. She held up her hand as if to stop with me.

"It never really seemed like _**that**_." She said "More like curiosity then interest." She shrugged again

"Who can say, boys are weird."

A small "Definitely." Was all I could manage.

Eros came back with the snacks at that point and we continued on

About fifteen minutes later we had finished with the art and were starting on our other homework.

Hanna took a look at her watch and then stood up collecting her things, I better get home, thanks for the help K.. She paused then.

"Do you want a ride? It's on my way."

I knew what she was doing, giving me an escape. I so wanted to take it, but I was not a coward and Eros deserved to talk to me, it was the very least I could do.

I smiled up at her, 'Thanks." I said "but my mom's picking me up on her way home"

She took one last look at me. "Okay, see ya guys tomorrow."

"Bye." Eros said

The door closed and I braced myself, but nothing came. Eros simply returned back to her homework.

About a half hour later my phone range. It was my mom. I flipped it open

"Hey mom,"

"He sweetie, I'm about twenty minutes out. I'm I still picking you up at Eros's?"

"Yep, I'm here." _Missing Jared, missing his smile, missing his voice, missing his amazing smell, missing…him._

"Alright." She said "See ya in a bit."

I hung up the phone and begin collecting my stuff.

"Are you going to say anything?" Eros said in low hard tone causing me to jump

I turned to look at her. We looked at each other for a minute before I sighed and rubbed my hand over me face.

"What would you like me to say?" I said my voice slightly higher then normal, it almost sounded like I was crying but I wasn't. I felt so guilty and yet my guilt felt disconnected. What made me feel even worse was the fact that when I had been with Jared I had barley even considered Eros. All my attention had been completely on him and even now, thinking about him kind of pushed my guilt to the side.

"Well for one thing," she said slightly whispering as she leaned forward sounding like she was about to cry. "I'd like an explanation of just what the hell happened today! What the hell Kim!"

I put my hand to my mouth and took a deep breath and then laid it on the table. "I don't know what to say." I said a bit breathlessly.

She gave me a hard long look. 'That's…..NOT GOOD ENOUGH KIM!"

She was right. I owed her more than that.

"Okay." I said holding my hands up.

"I'm not sure I can explain it…."

"Well you had better damn well try."

"It was like….like.."

"Do you like him?" she asked in a small, angry, slightly anxious voice.

I nodded

She stood up leaning over the table "How COULD YOU? You know I've been in love with him for like……..like over a year Kim!

She sat back down in her chair shaking her head at me. "I can't believe you. YOU! Of all people!"

"I've liked him since eighth grade." I blurted out

"What?"

"I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed about liking someone so unattainable. I thought It would never happen so what was the point, and then…in tenth grade when you started liking him I didn't tell you. Again, because I thought it would never happen, so what was the harm if we liked the same person.

Here expression was livid.

"What do you want from me?!! I can't help the way I feel anymore than you can! I CAN'T HELP WHO I LOVE EROS I'M SORRY.

"Love uhh.." Eros said shaking her head she stood back up folding her arms.

"What do you mean, you _**thought**_ would never happen?"

I looked at her. The answer should have been obvious and I knew it was she just wanted me to say it.

I stood up giving her a look.

"You think….he likes you. Like _**that**_?" she asked

"Yeah," I said in a small voice. "I think he does." I tried to keep the marvel out of my tone. I wasn't sure I succeeded

She shook her head as if unbelieving.

I was getting frustrated now. If I was in her shoes I was pretty sure I would have swallowed it and pretended, yes pretended that I was happy for her.

"What do you want from me." I said in a tired voice. "I don't know what else to say, there's nothing else I can think of to say. I've been honest with you.

"And that's suppose to make it better!?"

"Just answer the question Eros." I knew my tone was a bit bored but I couldn't help it, it had been a long and mentally exhausting day and I was ready for it to be over.

"Stay away from him!" she said as if this was the most obvious solution and she couldn't believe that I'd had the audacity not to come to this conclusion myself.

I looked up at her shocked, feeling my eyes begin to tear, all I could do was stare at her. How could she ask this of me? Could I do it? NO!!! My heart seemed to scream throbbing almost angrily in my chest taking my breath away. I rubbed at my heart and took a ragged breath. I pulled myself together and looked up at her

She seemed slightly taken aback by my behavior.

"So what happened?"

"Nothing."

She folded her arms, looking at me, disbelieving.

"I swear it!" I said. "We talked in class, he stopped me by the locker to talk about our project. I missed the bus and he offered me a ride since it was his fault. That's all"

_OKAY, okay I was sugar coating. You're telling me you wouldn't?_

"Really?" she cocked her head to the side meeting my eyes.

I meet them right back. I was in complete control of my emotions now….after the slight nervous breakdown.

"Yes."

"And that required…..sitting in his car for almost fifteen minutes?"

_Shit! I'd forgotten about that._

I gave her a hard look and rolled my eyes. "We were discussing the paper! He was asking me questions. There was no touching or anything of that nature."

_It was pretty much the truth._

"Oh." She said. "Then how come you were freaking out, acting all guilty?"

I looked at her as if the answer was so obvious. "Because…you were freaking out."

She was silent for a moment and smiled. "I guess I did. Sorry. I just thought…"

"I know, I'm sorry for not telling you about Jared."

"Its fine," she said throwing up her hands "I understand why you didn't tell me, and I mean it's not like I can blame you…I mean he is amazing." She said laughing

All I could do was nod.

"I just thought…he liked you or something and you were…I should have known better, AND NOT jumped to conclusions."

I wasn't sure if I should be insulted. She should have known better that I wasn't actively pursuing him behind her back or that he would like me.

And what the hell? Had she not just heard me say I thought he might like me and now she was brushing it all aside, not even trying to pretend to care that I was crazy about him.

It seemed like Jared was really interested. I wasn't naïve to think that he liked me as deeply or as much as I liked him. Maybe it was just idol curiosity or simple infatuation. He would, if I wanted to be perfectly honest, probably break my heat in the end. He might just be using me for a good grade, I had to admit this thought had crossed my mind several times since biology, but he was so nice. I knew better though, men could be excellent liars and manipulators when they really wanted something. It could all be an act, but the reason I was going to follow this road and see where it lead was that if I didn't I would always regret it, wondering if it had been the real thing. If he had really liked me, and I didn't think I could live with that.

I was spared from having to come up with something to say by my phone ringing. Nothing has ever sounded sweeter, except for Jared's voice.

"It's my mom." I said as I answered

"Hello"

"I'm here out front."

"I'm coming." I said I shut the phone and grabbed my bag. "I'll see you on the bus." I said. I couldn't manage a smile.

She nodded and followed me to the door.

"So…you're not going to pursue him. Are you.?

I turned to look at her. I shook my head no then decided to be honest, mostly.

"Look," I said "I'm not going to actively pursue him. We basically just…..but if he likes me I'm not sure I can…" I shook my head not sure what to even say.

"KIM…" I held up my hand.

"Please," I said "It's been a really long day. I can't discuss this now. I'm…I don't know what I'm going to do. Let's just talk tomorrow.

I heard my mom's horn beep

"I gotta go." I said

I headed for the door and opened it she grabbed the handle holding the door open for me.

"I would never do this to you." She said she said in a low, serious voice.

I turned and gave her a small smile. "Yes you would." I said nodding. "And I'd let you."

She didn't say anything I gave her another small smile.

"See you tomorrow." I said and with that I headed to my mom's car.

Finally free to think.

**Jared's POV:**

It was after eleven as I headed home. My mom was going to be pissed; at least she hadn't caught me sneaking out to patrol. Yet! It would be just my luck that when I start sneaking out for an honorable purpose, instead of just to party she would start checking in on me. I'd been sneaking out of the house to do….whatever since I was fourteen and I'd never gotten caught.

She was going to be so ticked, maybe she wouldn't be up, or maybe Phillip would have taken her out to dinner or something. Jael would probably be home, but she would cover for me. We always covered for each other.

The last month had been hard for my mom. She usually was easy going and let me do whatever I wanted staying out all night on weekends, but lately she'd been worried. Who could blame her? I'd changed so much, my personality, my mannerisms, and my friends. Thankfully the school board hadn't called to tell her I hadn't been to school in almost a month, thanks to the council.

I had promised her I would be home for dinner, seven sharp. But I had really needed to talk to Sam. If I had waited he'd have been pissed, who could blame him considering what had happened to his imprint.

It had been worth it though.

I would have to be careful. If I felt myself getting angry around her I couldn't stand around and try to calm down or explain myself to her. It would be better to just walk away and try to explain myself later. That was where Sam had made his mistake, trying to explain himself. I also had to be careful how far I let the relationship go before I told her what I was.

Just thinking about telling her the truth made me start to shake slightly. It terrified me. I could picture her face, horrified, disgusted, walking away from me and telling me to stay the hell away from her. Just thinking about never moving forward and getting close to her made my stomach feel like it was pushing back against my spine, a now familiar feeling

Seeing Sam's imprintation, if that's even a word, in his head had made me hope that I would never imprint. I'd thought I wouldn't because it was suppose to be rare.

Now that I had imprinted. I was ecstatic. I couldn't have imprinted on anyone better. It was incredible, and a bit terrifying the intensity of it. The way I wanted to protect her and make her happy no matter what. The territorial feelings I had when it came to her. She was so…perfect was the only word I could think of but it didn't seem to do her justice; she was so much more than just perfect. She was beautiful, in a unique and natural way. With her straight nose, high cheek bones, and full lips. Those lips! I sighed. What I would love to do with those lips. And her skin, paler then most of the girls in the school. She had a long thin physic that somehow managed to be curvy. Amazing legs from what I could see. Perfect. Her personality was even better; she was sweet, and smart yet complex. AND HER VOICE!! Her voice made my chest hurt, it was a bit deep for a girl yet soft and smooth.

My first day back.

It had been rough. My enhanced senses made everything too close, too loud, and the smell! All the different lotions, perfumes, and soaps mixing with everyone's natural sent gave me a headache and made me feel slightly nauseous. Luckily Paul and Sam had warned me about this. One of the first things I had done after becoming a werewolf, after I calmed down and managed to change back, was change the type of soap I used and get rid of all my colognes.

I loved Kim's scent I was so drawn and attuned to it that it kind of blocked out every other scent when I was with her. She wore no perfume. She only smelled of soap that smelled only clean and was slightly sweet scented. It was amazing how well I could distinguish the different smells. And her hair! God It smelled so good, like a concentrated dose of her sent, when she'd ran her hand through her hair in biology it had caused her scent to become a lot stronger for just an instant, hitting me square in the face. My instinct had been to lean over and just start sniffing her.

Somehow I doubted that would be acceptable to her. Instead I'd tensed holding my body in place. The wolf in me hadn't liked that and I'd felt a growl almost escape my throat at the lack of contact.

Emily had been thrilled wanting to hear all about her, wondering when she would get to meet her. Sam had been shocked and more than a little bit worried, but who could blame him. Paul had just been annoyed, saying and I quote "Great, now I not only have to deal with Sam's acting like a fool."

Sam had smacked him in the back of the head, causing him to start shacking and run out of the house phasing. Served him right.

Sam had given me some good pointers on how to control my more primal urges when I was with her. Like sniffing her or getting to close before she was ready. Controlling my emotions so I didn't make her feel uncomfortable. That was the hardest part.

They felt so natural.

It was hard to tell how I made her feel when I slipped up. And even when I tried to cover, I had a feeling she saw right through me.

Emily agreed with me she said that she had seen right through Sam and that the way he had acted toward her, so….intense, hadn't made her feel awkward, nervous or scared but her brain had jumped in telling her that she should be scared.

Which meant that I still needed to be careful.

My attraction to her was odd and confusing because while I wanted every inch of her so bad, to taste her scent, to be close to her. At the same time I didn't want her. I wanted to wait, to make sure she wanted me, that she wouldn't regret me.

I was happy about our project; it couldn't have come at a better time. Now I had the perfect excuse to be around her without her thinking I was stalking her or something.

I had noticed Kim before, but I wasn't sure if I was attracted to her before.

When I noticed her I had told myself that I was just curious about her because she seemed so odd, but now I wondered if I'd just told myself that because we moved in such different circles and I was too much of a coward to approach her.

She had seemed…..if I was being completely honest with myself, above me. She made me a bit nervous I had this instinct to cringe away from her. I'd never understood it. So I'd told myself it was because she was weird.

I first noticed her last year. I was standing next to my locker talking to Torren. The hallways had been packed. Everyone trying to grab their stuff, and heading for the buses.

She was walking down the hall with a guy and another girl on either side of her talking to each other. She looked so far away. Like her body was there but she wasn't. She had made it to her locker and started going through the motions of preparing to leave for the day, but her eyes were still vacant even her actions were robotic. It amazed me that she could function while her thoughts were obviously so far away. I wondered what she was thinking so hard about. Her friend had turned then speaking directly to her. She had snapped out of it then replying to the girls' questions.

As they'd turned down the hall heading for the main doors, her eyes had shuttered again even though she was talking to the girl and making conversation, she was not all there. The girl didn't seem to notice.

I'd turned to Katy then asking her who that girl was. She'd turned to see who I was talking about.

"The girl with the ponytail and the yellow shirt?" she'd asked turning to look back at me strangely. I knew what that look was for.

"Yea." I said still watching her.

"That Kim."

"She's kind of odd." I'd said with a small laugh.

"Yea she is." She'd studied my face so I'd quickly changed the subject.

That was the last time I'd ever mentioned her, but I still noticed her at least a few times a week. I soon realized that her demeanor that day was not just a onetime thing. She was often like that. Even when she laughed and talked with people she seemed slightly distant. In her own personal bubble, it was like nothing ever really touched her. I wondered how she did it and sometimes wished I could do it.

Sometimes I thought about her at the oddest moments, but the feelings were always vacant I didn't really feel any emotion or arousal when I thought about her. Her face would sometimes just pop into my head seemingly for no reason.

I found nothing particularly interesting or tantalizing about that face. I chalked it up to the fact that I'd always been interested in odd things.

I had thought about her at the worst possible moment last summer. I'd been getting a blowjob from Mallory and all of a sudden she had just popped into my mind for no reason, and out of idol curiosity I'd imagined that it was her on her knees in between my legs, but that was the first and only time I'd thought of her like that.

Today when I'd walked into my Ancient Literature class. I'd felt…almost something like a pulse. It had become stronger as I had moved towards the back of the class room. It was like being in a huge crowd of people and one person was giving off this pulse that was sending slight shockwaves through the room and only I could feel it. It was like putting my fingers to my wrist and feeling my pulse throbbing beneath my fingers, only instead of my fingers it was my whole body.

It had distracted me and I'd only been able to give the smallest of smiles to Katy. Which was pathetic since for the last three weeks her and the rest of my friends had been calling me, and I'd been ignoring them.

The class had been full by then so I couldn't exactly tell where it was coming from, since it seemed to be all around me. I'd told Paul about it after class. He'd suggested that maybe there was someone else in the room who was slightly less than human.

"Like what?" I'd asked

He'd shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows? If we exist who the hell knows what else is out there."

He had a point.

Then biology had happened.

As soon as I'd walked in the room I'd felt that pulse, that pull. I'd paused in the doorway. Then pushed myself forward heading for my seat next to Kim. It had really amused me when we'd been partnered. She was still weird though. I'd noticed that when I got close to her she almost cringed away from me, but she didn't seem as distant as she usually was. I had wondered why that was.

It had shocked me to say the least when I'd walked into my kitchen a little over a month ago to find her sitting at my counter. I had said hi to her and I'd thought my manner was friendly enough but she'd seemed distant and incredibly tense, I thought her back might snap.

As I'd headed to my seat I'd muttered under my breath to Paul that the strange feeling was here, but he'd said he hadn't felt anything

As soon as I got to my seat and set down, I knew exactly where that pulse was coming from. It made since she was a little strange after all. I'd starred at her trying to figure it out.

Imprinting had never even crossed my mind.

She'd been tense, gripping the edge of her book for dear life. Worry gripped me. Was she something that allowed her to know what I was?

She'd slowly begin to relax after a while and I begin to recognize that far away look in her eyes. Her gaze had drifted slowly over and then her eyes had met mine.

In that moment the pulsating had stopped completely. Everything stopped. I felt lighter than air no cares no worries. I cared about no one and then everything shifted, it felt long and drawn out but I knew it only took seconds. I was bound to her; I couldn't put it into words or coherent thought, only feeling.

I was hooked, linked by something invisible yet so real and tangible that it surprised me that I couldn't see and touch it.

I discovered just how real that connection was when I tried to leave her for the first time in the hallway. It was like one of those strings you pull to get a doll to talk. Only a lot strong and much more painful.

I'd begin to turn and walk away from her and it had felt like I was pulling against a strong pulley that was connected to her I'd ignored it. I'd only made it a couple of feet when it yanked on my heart as if I had stretched the steel cable as far as it could go. I'd jerked back feeling the pain and pull in my heart. It had scared me a bit until I realized it was her. I'd seen this in Sam's head before, felt these emotions.

Only it was a thousand times worse and stronger because it was actually happening to me.

I'd moved forward pulling against it terrified that it would snap. It didn't.

The feeling didn't get any worse thankfully, or any better, instead it was like it became a dull ache in the back of my mind. I hadn't realized how much it ached until I'd been near her again and felt the relief.

It was amazing how as soon as I was beside her that invisible cable, string or whatever it was. Slackened and I could physically feel it.

Sam had said it would never get easier. I would just get use to it, learn how to ignore it and just walk away.

I had been so worried when I'd imprinted on her. Would she be distant with me like she seemed to be with almost everyone? There but always distant. What if I was never able to get close to her? These thoughts had made me shake slightly and made me honestly hurt inside, my stomach pressing up against my spine. It felt like pressure on my heart, like it didn't have enough space to beat properly.

My fears had quickly disappeared though. She was so open, so there. It was like I could see right into her and every emotion she was feeling,

She didn't seem scared of me. At times I wondered if she was. When her heart rate sped up, but when I looked into her eyes I saw no fear.

I doubted myself a bit though, I wanted her to trust me, like me, and want to be around me, I'd never wanted something so bad in all my life.

It was amazing how when she was upset or angry it made me hurt and how much it worried me. It almost made me panicky.

Especially at the end of the day when I'd thought for and instant that she might just want to get away from me.

She was too funny, biting her lip when she was nervous; she didn't think she was that interesting. She amazed me. How shy she was and yet she seemed confident and sure of herself at the same time. I had a feeling that her shyness was more due to how I'd react to her then her lack of confidence in herself.

When I found out that Paul knew a little about her I'd questioned him relentlessly until he'd gotten irritated with me and told me to leave him the hell alone, and that he didn't know anything else. Emily had thought we were hilarious. Which had caused Paul to get angry again and have to run outside before he phased. I swear that boy phases at least five times a day.

I could care less if Paul was angry. I'd still managed to get quite a bit out of him.

Like the fact that Kim was an only child, her parents were still married, Her mother was a gourmet chef, her dad did something with numbers which Paul hadn't been too sure about. She had some friends but only one close friend, whose name Paul didn't know, he only knew that it was something "weird". She had only gone out with two guys, but never really dated anyone including Paul. Which made me very happy.

I arrived home and looked through the garage window, which I was now tall enough to do. Phil's car wasn't here, I was in luck. I went in and made my way to the fridge pulling out leftovers.

I heard the sound of soft footsteps coming down the stairs. I sniffed the air double checking my ears. I was correct.

Jael appeared around the corner seconds later she came over to the island and sat down folding her arms and looking at me with a smirk on her face.

I looked up from my food. Then went back to what I was doing.

She shook her head. 'You're in big trouble." She said. "Mom was so pissed you missed dinner after you promised."

"Where is she?"

"Her and Phil went out for drinks with the Larson's" she said rolling her eyes.

Phil was always socializing. My mom hated the Larson's they were Mallory's parents and really pretentious.

I heard more footsteps. I listened intently, I recognized those footsteps, I was really not in the mood for this. I was about to sniff the air then realized I couldn't do that, Jael would notice. I decided to just ask her but then realized she couldn't hear the footsteps and would find it odd that I could.

A few minutes later she rounded the corner, I smelled her before I saw her. She was wearing my favorite perfume. I hoped she wasn't wearing too much. I was enjoying my food

I liked Katy but I didn't love her, never had. Which was why we were friends…..with benefits. Well we use to be.

I really didn't want to see any of my friends or I should say ex-friends.

I couldn't be friends with them anymore because a. I would never be able to even spend time with them now that I had other more important responsibilities so what was the point, b. what if I phased in front of them revealing what I was or worse yet hurt them, what would I say oh yea I burst out of my body and sprout fur and paws no big deal, yea right, and c. the newest development, there was only one person I wanted to spend every free moment with right now and it wasn't any of them.

Of all my friends Katy was probably my closest and the one I least wanted to see, especially considering the nature of our relationship.

Sam had warned me about this part of imprinting. Paul thought it was by far the worst part and a major downside, but honestly I couldn't bring myself to care or even mind in the slightest.

I cringed I didn't really notice what Katy was wearing, I simply couldn't, but I knew that smell only meant on thing.

"Hey!" she said coming over to counter where we sat.

I smiled then returned to my plate of food. I was careful how much I ate in front of my family. I would sneak later and eat more.

The three of us stood around talking for awhile then my sister got a call and ran up to her room. My whole body tensed. I nearly breathed an audible sigh of relief when Jael called Katy saying she needed her. She gave me a slight smile then left running up the stairs.

I headed for the TV room. I spread out on the couch and turned on some sitcom but I wasn't really watching. My mind was far away on Kim. Going over the time I'd spent with her today. Going over my favorite parts again and again. Trying to remember the sound of her voice perfectly. It made the ache worse but I couldn't bring myself to care, it was worth it. I only wished I could sneak over to her house to see if I could catch a glimpse of her but I had to be here when my mom got home, she would check. Unfortunately.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't hear her, I didn't even realize she was there standing behind the coach until I smelled her.

My eyes flew open.

"Shit!" I said jumping.

She covered her mouth laughing at me. "Sorry." She said." Were you sleeping?" she asked leaning against the back of the couch. To close! I felt myself growl at her and quickly turned it into a throat clear. I sat up. Moving slightly away from her.

"No. just thinking."

She came around the couch sitting next to me. I resisted the urge to move away from her. I looked up at her slowly. Her warmth and smell were to close. They made me uncomfortable. I felt bad. I couldn't help it, it'd never felt this away around her before.

She looked up at me. "Thinking about me?" Her hand came up brushing my hair back off my forehead.

It was automatic, instinctual I jerked back from her touch, scowling at her. It felt wrong for her to touch me in such away. The wolf in me was loud and insistent. I was Kim's! No one could or should touch me like that, it made my stomach roll.

She looked at me strangely, a bit hurt. I had always let her into my personal space, always let her touch me. She was my first after all. I cringed at that thought. I wish Kim could have been my first and only.

"What's the matter?"

"Sorry," I said shaking my head, "I…I'm just a little…" I shook my head again I didn't know what to say.

She put her hand on my back. I held my body still. Refusing to allow myself to cringe away from her touch.

She moved closer and I could feel her breath on my neck as she adjusted herself sitting on her knees. "Let me make it better." She leaned in and kissed my neck right below my ear where she knew I liked it, he hand moving to my inner thigh.

I felt nothing. Not that I gave it much of a chance. I shot of the couch nearly toppling her over. I turned to face her, my body rigid. I felt violated.

She looked at me like I was crazy.

I held my hand out as if telling her to stop. My breathing was a bit fast, but it wasn't from excitement.

"I'm sorry…… I just can't." I said my voice low

She stood up and took a step toward me but I backed away eyeing her warily.

"Why not? What's with you?"

"I just….don't feel…" I trailed off

"In the mood?" she asked

I so wanted to say yes. I'm tired. Anything to get me out of this situation, but I knew that if I wasn't honest I'd be right back in this situation.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't feel like that anymore." And it was true. I couldn't blame her for being confused or even a bit angry with me. I was the one who usually made the first move, inviting her over, practically ripping her clothes off before we even made it to the bedroom. Now I couldn't, I just couldn't I knew she was wearing I fitting blue dress, that it hugged her curves. That her hair was done and logically I found her pretty, but I could not care or even feel turned on by that fact, I could not feel any desire for her at all. Maybe I could have tried if I didn't feel nauseous at the thought of it but I knew my body wouldn't respond enough to even allow me to try, I didn't want to try.

Katy took a long hard look at me I met her eyes, her shoulders slumped slightly and she sighed.

She plopped herself down on the couch, curling her legs up under her and resting her arm on the armrest.

"So…" she said. "Who is she?"

I looked at her for a minute then went and sat on the edge of the armchair that was next to her the end table between us.

"Please tell me it's not Kim," she said a slightly worried and amused look on her face.

I looked up at her sharply. "How'd you…"

She rolled her eyes. "Kaitlyn said you were like staring at her in biology." She said with a shrug. "And then Charles said after school you were talking to her in the hallway looking like…" she finished with another shrug

She looked at me a bit longer." Jared." She said with a smile. "Come on, if you don't want this," she said pointing with her hand to herself and then me. "Fine, but Kim? Come on!" she said with a slight laugh.

I looked up at her sharply. "There is **nothing** wrong with Kim!" I said

She looked shocked and slightly hurt. I'd never used that tone before especially not with her and I wasn't apologizing for it. I mean come on! She knew every girl I'd hooked up with or that had come on to me and I'd excepted. I mean most of the latter were her friends. Mallory and I hooked up all the time and it wasn't like I'd never hooked up with or dated someone outside of our STUPID clique. She doesn't even know Kim.

We were silent for a bit before she spoke. "Sorry. I guess…I mean I don't really know her so it was wrong of me to act like that."

I looked at her. "Its fine, I understand."

I did understand. We always understood each other, well at least we use to. I could remember wishing that my feelings for her weren't so shallow, that I could lover her passionately. I thought we would be perfect for each other if I could truly love her. I'd tried to make myself lover her like that, but I just couldn't. I'd cared for her which was the reason I had been honest with her, but that was as far as it went.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." I said even though I was slightly unsure. Lately questions made me a bit uneasy, for obvious reasons.

"Kaitlyn said it's like your…in love with her or something. Do you love her?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation. I knew she could hear the honesty in my voice, the fervency. She knew I was serious, but she still looked shocked as it sunk in.

"Why her? I mean……..What is it…." She said shaking her head not finishing her sentence

I understood what she was asking. I knew her feelings went deeper than mine.

About a month after we'd broken up we'd had our first hook up. I'd told her no. Explaining to her again that I didn't feel that way. She'd told me she understood that she knew I didn't feel that way. That it was just sex that it could be just sex with me because she trusted me.

I didn't want to do it but I had to I needed her to understand, and I was hoping she would pass on the message to Mallory, who I occasionally hooked up with. Not that it would stop her. I would undoubtedly have to do it myself and she would not be nearly as excepting as Katy had been.

I took a deep breath

"It would take too long to explain it. It's a combination of a hundred different things." I said slowly. "Kim is…..I don't know. Everything." I finished looking up at her I knew she could hear the admiration in my voice.

Her mouth hung open. She closed it and then gave me a small smile getting up. I stood up.

"I'm sorry." I said. It was so not enough, but I had nothing else to offer.

She smiled at me. "I know me too. Don't sweat it Jared. You can't help how you feel." _She had no idea._

After she left I ate again. Then took a shower. I hoped I'd be able to sleep. I'd never been so anxious for school in my life.

I fell asleep thinking of Kim. Content and happy for the first time in nearly a month.

Something occurred to me as I was falling asleep. Maybe imprinting was about more than just carrying on blood lines. Everything was easier because of what I got to have. I was certain I would have missed Kim, and I was definitely sure the Sam would have missed Emily. We would have never realized how perfect they were for us if not for imprinting. It made all of this bearable. It made it, all of it worth it.

When I'd first phased I'd been so angry and sad, even a bit depressed. Friend's gone, life as I knew it changed forever, an invisible wall had forever come between me and almost everyone I'd ever known or would ever know and I would never be able to tear it down and worse still I would, most likely have to watch everyone around me that I cared about die, leaving me behind.

Imprinting changed all of that. I no longer felt unhappy or angry. The burden of this life had become so much more easier to bear. I now understood why, with imprinting every other connection was severed and she became the thing you cared about the most, the one person you could tell anything and everything too.

It was more than enough.

**A/N: Ok so I so didn't want to do anything from Jared's POV because I just feel like I do a much better job from Kim's. I'm STILL not happy with the way I ended it but it had to be done. If I do anything in the future from Jared's POV it will be a lot shorter. By the way this chapter was thirty-three pages on Microsoft. WOO-HOO for me! Also check out the song that plays on Jared's radio, yes it is a real song lol. I couldn't resist you can use or project playlist for quick and easy listening. Enjoy! Oh and sorry for the long AN's;)**

.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As usual I own nothing, it all belongs to SM. Please review and let me know what you think good or bad. You can view Kim's outfit on my profile.**

**Special thanxs to:**

**Alyleigh**

**Angelicmely**

**Babeboangel**

**Mango**

**Jimenaperz**

**Tomyculln**

**And**

**futurmrsmorgen**

**For reviewing.**

**Chapter 3**

**Kim's POV:**

I stood in front of the mirror brushing my hair back into its usual pony tail, then finished getting dressed. I wanted to look good today, but not like I was trying. I decided on my simple Rock Out T-shirt, and some black jean's that my mom had bought me, which I'd never worn since they were a bit tighter then I usually liked my jeans.

I'd given a lot of thought about the events of the previous day, all evening and into the night in fact and I'd come to a decision.

As soon as I'd gotten home yesterday I'd gone about my usual routine.

Finishing my homework, having dinner with my mom and dad, taking a shower, getting ready for bed, but my mind had been going nonstop.

My dad had noticed I was distracted and uptight. Asking me what was wrong.

"Nothing." I'd said. "I'm just trying to make a decision about something."

"Need any help?"

I'd smiled up at him, shaking my head. "No thanks. I need to work it out on my own."

"Ok." He'd said. Thankfully dropping the subject.

My mom had noticed too. She kept shooting me worried looks, but she didn't pry.

By the time dinner was over. I'd come up with two options for how to deal with this situation.

I wanted to go full speed ahead. Throw myself into this maybe-relationship with Jared and not care about the consequences.

The thing that stopped me was the fact that Jared might not be interested in me simply because he liked me, he might have an ulterior motive.

How stupid would I feel if I completely disregarded Eros's feelings, breaking up our friendship over a guy, who turned out not to really be interested in me.

By the time I was in bed falling asleep I'd reached a decision. This morning my resolve had not waivered and I was ready to put it into action.

I'd decided on a compromise.

I would reject Jared.

I would tell him that I needed him to stay away from me, not giving him an explanation.

_I was so not going to make it through this without crying, I just knew it._

I hated crying in front of people. Hated it!

If he came after me and persisted. Then I would tell him the whole truth. That one of my friend's liked him, and that I wasn't willing to break up a friendship over something that might be shallow or not even real on his part. I knew I was taking a huge risk here.

I could wind up with my heart broken. He could agree to leave me alone. Tell me that he didn't have real feelings for me. That he had just wanted to try something different or that he wanted a good grade, he had missed nearly a month of school.

I was hoping he would do the opposite, although I highly doubted it but I reasoned with myself that it was better to know the truth now than down the road. Even if it meant breaking my own heart.

The most likely outcome would be that he would let me go, he wouldn't persist and yesterdays encounter would be the end of it.

I felt empty at the thought. I wanted to tell myself that this could be a positive thing. That it would be easier to stop loving him, but I knew I'd only be lying to myself. Today's outcome didn't really matter, either way I'd still be in love with Jared.

But maybe….just maybe. A miracle would occur and he wouldn't let me go.

My heart squeezed and my stomach clinched at the thought. It didn't alarm me. I was getting use to it.

Of course even if by some miracle Jared persisted and told me that he really liked me, I still had one major hurdle.

Eros.

I'd already decided yesterday that no matter what the outcome, I was going to be completely honest with her.

If Jared and I…..

I sighed, Jared and I.

Were together by the end of the day, I would tell her. Whether or not she still wanted to be my friend or not, would be completely up to her.

I really didn't want to hurt her, but there was no way around it. I needed to follow this through. See where it led. No matter what the outcome. If I didn't I would regret it and I knew it. I needed to do this for myself.

I checked the time then scarfed down the rest of my breakfast.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the bus stop.

I made it just in time. Eros was in our usual seat waiting for me.

She gave me a slight smile as I slide in next to her but it didn't quite meet her eyes, they slightly narrowed. I could tell that she was trying to read my expression.

"Morning." I said. I didn't try to monitor my tone. I was done pretending.

We were quiet as we rode. The morning was cold but we hadn't had any rain for three days, a huge feat for Lapush.

She glanced over at me and I knew it was coming, I was prepared. I had already gone over in my head what I planned to say to her.

"So…." She said. Her voice low. "What did you decide?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm going to talk to Jared first. I have……some questions for him. I'll try to talk to him before lunch. So we can talk at lunch."

I glanced over at her. "Ok?"

She nodded and was silent for a minute before she spoke. "Why can't we just talk after school?"

"I'm working on our biology project after school."

"With Jared?"

I nodded

"How are you going to avoid him if you have to do the assignment **with** Him?"

I knew what she was doing. Trying to push me into giving a precise answer. An answer she wanted to hear. It was the wrong way to push me. I felt my temper flair and with it my boldness. I wanted to tell her off, tell her to mind her own damn business, that I would handle it my way! But instead I took a deep breath and said.

"I'll talk to you after school." Using my tone to make it clear that this discussion was over, for now.

She gave me one last look, we were silent the rest of the way to school.

We got off the bus and headed for the main entrance, I wasn't paying attention. Lost in my own thoughts, as usual until Eros nudged me. I looked over at her but she didn't look back. Her focus was trained straight ahead. I followed her gaze.

Jared stood a few feet away from us. In front of the entrance slightly off to my right. His face lit up and I couldn't help returning his smile any more then I could help the weight that seemed to completely disappear from my shoulders the moment I saw him.

_This was going to hurt._

At the thought of what I was going to do my smile faltered and so did his.

I glanced over at Eros.

She looked back at me. "I'll see you inside." She said disappearing into the building

I made my way over to Jared. He gave me a small smile, looking slightly worried. I tried to return it but I couldn't, I just couldn't. all the acting in the world wasn't going to make this hurt any less. My heartfelt to heavy for my chest and to slow. I felt drained already and the day hadn't even really begun.

"Good Morning." He said

I glanced up his eyes still looked worried, studying mine.

I couldn't look him in the eyes and do this. I decided to stare at his throat instead.

_Coward._

I didn't return his greeting. "I need to talk to you." I said

I waited but he didn't reply, only when I looked up at him did he answer me, a cautious look on his face.

"Ok." He said his voice level.

'I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything." I cringed at the sound of his voice. He meant what he said.

He had a way of speaking to me, making every word he said sound so sincere and heartfelt. It made what I was about to do so much harder. I could feel my nose burning slightly as I held back the tears.

"I need you to……to" I swallowed I felt slightly queasy and my voice shook. His head came down trying to get me to meet his eyes. Without thinking I looked up at him. Forcing my words out.

"To stay away from me. Leave me alone."

This time I visibly cringed away from him. my heart seemed to jerk in my chest when I saw the look on his face.

His eyes were a bit wide. He let out a slight breath. He looked down taking a deep breath. He seemed to shake slightly where he stood

"Um..." was all he said. He seemed lost for words.

I looked into his eyes. He seemed so confused. I could almost see his brain scrambling, thinking fast.

I had to clench my fist to keep myself from acting on my instincts. It screamed at me, hug him, comfort him, make it better!

But instead all I said was. "Okay?" all he did was nod looking down, of to the side. Not quite meeting my eyes.

He swallowed hard, seeming to tremble. All he said was "Okay." Still not meeting my eyes. But the way he said it made it anything but okay.

I turned and walked into the building.

I moved quickly to my locker, I was running behind schedule. Eros stood talking to Hanna. Hanna said hi to me but all I could do was nod. I grabbed my stuff, not bothering to check and make sure I had everything I needed.

I slammed my locker shut and headed to the girl's bathroom, praying that it was empty.

It was. I went to the last stall. I lowered the toilet seat and sat down. I starred at the back of the door for a minute feeling numb. Before I burst into tears.

I had never cried like this before. It was a horrible feeling. No sound came out, only tears. I couldn't make a sound, I was crying and sobbing so hard that I couldn't even get air and my chest literally hurt. I leaned against to wall to keep myself from falling off the toilet. This was so stupid! So ridiculous. I'd honestly spent less than two hours with him and this is how I was reacting to goodbye.

It seemed foolish and overly emotional to me, but I couldn't help it.

I heard the warning bell sound. I pulled myself together. It was surprisingly easy, but I could still feel the ache in my body, the heaviness in my shoulders, and the worst part of all……I felt…..empty. simple as that. Hollow

I grabbed my stuff and hurried out of the bathroom and into the hallway, they were completely empty. Except for one lone and very tall figure.

He looked at me his mouth was tight, his eyes worried. I wondered what my face looked like.

"I really need to talk to you." He said. His voice tight, low, and controlled. Like he was about to throw up or something and he was afraid to open is mouth.

I was about to reply but he interrupted me. "I know you'll be late, but….." He took a step towards me. "Please" he said.

I didn't trust my voice so I simply nodded.

He turned down the hallway. Walking at what was probably his normal pace until he realized that for me it was a slight jog. He slowed his pace giving me a slight grin that didn't reach his eyes.

He led us to the music room and held the door open for me. It was always empty first period.

I walked all the way to the back and sat down.

He stepped close then, squatting down and sitting back on his hunches so that we could be eye to eye.

I leaned back slightly. Being this close to him always shocked me. The warmth, the smell, Him! I felt better already.

"Look," he said his voice was slightly shaky and his eyes darted to mine, away and then back again. He took a deep breath. "I….I want you to be honest with me. I mean if…" he took another breath, his lips twisted up the slightest bit but it wasn't really a smile. He looked down." If I…..did something…you can be..." he swallowed again is breathing erratic he sounded almost scared, anxious, and a bit desperate to say the right thing.

"Honest with me. You don't have to worry about…hurting my feelings or anything." He gave me the smallest of smiles. "I mean….if I freaked you out or something..." he said talking fast. The shaking in his voice got worse and his breathing picked up.

He met my eyes. I could see the hurt. He seemed to be searching my eyes. Looking for something he desperately wanted to find but couldn't. "I-." he stuttered swallowing hard again. "I mean I could….be your friend. It doesn't have to be,"

I cut him off shaking my head. He blinked at me looking shocked then lowered his head. His eyes narrowed, he looked as if he was concentrating on something hard, a slight angry look on his face, but the anger didn't seem directed at me.

I took a few deep breaths. When I thought I had my emotions under control I spoke but my voice was still unsteady. "No, I don't want to be your friend." I decided honesty was the best policy. Put everything out in the open and let the chips fall where they may.

He nodded looking up at me his face serious. "I-I understand." I blinked shocked at his tone. It was low and dead sounding.

I shook my head causing him to look up at me. I studied his face. "No, no you don't."

He gave me a wry smile. "Don't I? I made you uncomfortable." I sick look passed over his face. He seemed sickened and upset with himself. "I was being…"

I interrupted him. "that's not it at all!" I said a bit angrily.

I looked him straight in the eyes as I spoke. "My friend…..likes you….a lot actually. She been my friend for years, she's really my only close friend." I felt like such a loser telling him that. I took a deep breath.

"and I don't want to ruin my friendship with her over something…..something that might not even be….real. if this is a ploy to...to get a good grade or you're just in the mood for something new."

I took another breath but I could hold back the tears that ran down my face. _Perfect!_

He looked a bit shocked probably thinking what a freak I was.

I pressed on anyways. "I would really appreciate it if you just…..stopped. Left me alone." I wiped the stupid and traitorous I might add tears from my face. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" I said

He looked slightly confused but then he nodded.

I could not believe this. In that moment I hated myself for expecting the outcome to be any different. For allowing myself to hope.

"So, I'm right?" I could hear the shock and hurt in my voice, but I couldn't bring myself to care whether or not he heard it.

He moved closer to me looking me right in the eyes. He shook his head. Looking slightly awed and angry at the same time. His gaze was penetrating. I looked down.

"Kim," he breathed it more then said it. I looked up at him. his hand came up cradling my cheek in his large palm, burning my face.

He moved so fast, I barely had time to register what was happening. He pulled me off the chair in one swift movement. Pulling me against his chest, tucking my head under his chin.

I'd felt slightly numb before, it was the only thing keeping me from sobbing, from falling apart. Not anymore. I felt my tears run. In that moment I couldn't care less whether he liked or wanted me the way I wanted him, or analyze what this meant. I could barley catch my breath. I clung to him. he felt so good. Too good. Warm. Hard and soft at the same time, and his smell! I breathed it in and felt peaceful, the tears ceased. I was so close to him and yet somehow it was not close enough. If I could've, I would have disappeared inside of him. Gladly

Nothing had ever felt this good. For some reason, most days I felt like I was missing something, some vital piece I couldn't put into words, but somehow I knew if I could find it I would feel completely satisfied and nothing else would matter.

"Kim," he said again in the way only he could say my name. He pulled back slightly so he could look at my face. I was disappointed; I could have stayed there forever. He shook his head and I felt my heart drop. "It's…it's not like that for me. I…"

"I know." I said, not wanting to hear anymore. "I know you don't feel….**the same **way. I..."

He gave me a small smile and then leaned over pressing his lips to my forehead.

I was…..I wasn't even sure what I was.

A warm jolt, was the only way I could describe it, had started where his lips had touched my skin and traveled downward, jump starting my heart and continuing on its way.

The upper part of my body felt top light while the lower half felt too heavy. I was glad he was holding me up; I didn't think I could accomplish it by myself. My head felt heavy and hot.

He snapped me out of it.

He leaned back smiling. "What I was going to say is that this isn't about some stupid grade or….wanting something new. This is about you. **Only you**! Getting close to you, getting to know **you** better."

My mouth hung open; I looked up at him slightly confused. "**Why?**" I said. I could hear the confusion and awe in my voice.

He laughed. Then looked at me seriously for a moment. "Because I lo….like you."

I raised my eyebrows at him. I did not miss **That**. He looked at me slightly worried his breathing hitched a bit.

I studied his expression a bit longer, marveling at it. "I lo like you to." I said laughing

He smiled then, his whole face lighting up, my breath caught.

His face went suddenly serious; he tilted his head to the side. Studying my face as he spoke. "I don't…make you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. I just..." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Just what?" he said softly leaning closer; he took one arm from around my waist, touching my face. "What?" he asked again

"I just don't get…**why**."

He looked off to the side thinking. "You will. Let's just say…I needed a bit of a push to really notice how amazing you are."

I looked at him slightly confused. I had a feeling I was missing some vital piece that would cause all of this to make sense.

"I mean…I noticed you before, I just needed…..l can't explain it right now, but I will. Just believe me when I say me wanting to be with you has nothing to do with outside factors….it's only about you. I'm not trying to pull anything."

His tone had changed becoming serious; I could tell that he was desperate for me to believe him, to see how much he meant it.

I nodded. He smiled then

"So," he said "You like me….like that? More than just friends?"

I could see the hope in his eyes. I nodded, smiling slightly. "Yes." I said in a small voice. "Too much."

I pressed my lips together. _I did not just say that out loud!_

"Good." He said. I looked up at him glaring slightly. "Because I like you too much to." He laughed

The bell rang. We both looked up shocked; we'd missed the entire first period. Had we really been talking that long?

He lifted me up setting my on my feet. The movement surprised me. I reached out gripping his arms. He just moved so damn fast!

He laughed. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall." The way he said it made my heart throb.

He grabbed his bag including mine before I could then took my hand heading for the door. I stiffened. He stopped looking back at me. A worried expression on his face.

"Sorry." He said. "Does that bother you?" he said releasing my hand.

I moved forward grabbing his hand. "No. You just surprised me." I said smiling up at him.

He smiled back at me and moved forward heading toward our next class.

I sat in class trying to focus on Mr. Gellner's lesson. Not that I succeeded. I doubted that Jared was paying much attention either because every time I looked over at him he was staring at me. He'd asked Daniel who usually sat by me if he didn't mind switching seats with him. who knows if Daniel really minded.

He took one look at Jared's towering form and had managed to squeak out a small "Sure".

I was practically floating, I felt so light. I could not believe I was **with** Jared! Okay I was getting ahead of myself. Maybe. I was unsure. I mean he had almost told me he loved me. Which I could still not get over. I decided to stop over analyzing everything. I had a bad habit of doing that.

I was dreading the moment I would have to be away from him. since I knew the tension was going to come back, considering what I would have to tell Eros at lunch.

I wanted him to clarify if we were together, together, so I could know exactly what I was going to say to Eros. Okay, okay so it wasn't completely for her benefit. I decided I would do it after class. Be casual about it.

_Yeah right!_

I looked over at him, he smiled at me. I smiled back feeling slightly giddy.

_Great I'm turning into one of __**those **__girls. I refuse to let myself start giggling or squealing on a regular basis, so there! Maybe just inside my head. That doesn't count, right?_

After Ancient Lit Jared walked me to my English class holding my hand, even though his next class was the other way, he insisted he would make it before the bell rang.

I decided it was now or never. Bite the bullet, so to speak.

"So… just for clarification."

"Yes." He said looking down at me grinning."

"Are we.." I said motioning between us. "together?"

"As in…boyfriend and girlfriend?" he said in a cryptic tone, smirking slightly

I rolled my eyes and blushed. Feeling extremely stupid.

_Why do I do this to myself? Why do I ask question that I know will only embarrass me and make me cringe._

He laughed at my expression. "I guess I should have asked? Made it clear."

My heart leapt. I shrugged. "It is kind of generic to ask, and it was implied."

_I did not just say that last part. WHAT-THE-HELL-IS –WRONG-WITH-MY-MOUTH!!! _

"Yea, it was implied and I don't want anyone else. I just want to be with you." He said softly

I looked up at him and smiled a bit shocked. "Ditto." Was all I could get out.

_He really had to stop saying things like that to me! It made me consider doing things to him that had never appealed to me before._

I had never really gotten **it** before.

I'd never really understood why people got so excited about sex or even making out for that matter. I mean making out was nice and everything but it wasn't…..earth shattering. Which was why I'd probably never been past second base.

I could never understand when I heard girls talking about having sex and doing other things with guys why they got so excited. I'd always rolled my eyes; they seemed in ecstasy just talking about it. Like I'd said, good yes. Earth shattering, gravity moving? Not even close.

But I was slowly…..starting to get it.

He laughed. We reached my English class and he let go of my hand, handing me my bag. I looked at the door and sighed.

I looked back at him to find him studying my face. "Is** she** in there?" he asked

I nodded. "Yeah, but I don't have to talk to her till lunch."

"So you won't be at lunch?"

"Probably not. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be."

"Well, I usually leave campus for lunch with Paul anyways so I guess I'll see you in Biology."

I nodded. "You better get going. You're going to be late."

He laughed. "I completely forgot." He leaned forward.

My breath caught.

He leaned down wrapping one arm lightly around my waist and placed a soft burning kiss on my cheek. My knees felt a bit weak.

_Weak in the knees? You got to be kidding me! I'm officially a cliché._

He backed away giving me a small smile, his eyes soft and warm. I could still feel the heat from his kiss.

I reached up to touch my cheek.

"You're so warm. Actually hot is a better word." My voice sounded dreamy and slightly far away, almost sluggish.

His smile faltered and then he pulled back in place, shrugging. "It's normal, well at least for me." He sighed. The bell rang.

"Your late." He shrugged then sighed again looking a bit sad and wistful.

"I'll see you in biology." He said turning and walking down the hall.

It was a few seconds before I could make myself move. I was a bit stunned to say the least.

Mrs. Capeshu looked up from her stack of papers as I walked into the classroom.

"Glad you could join us Miss Alsup." She said

I only nodded. She gave me a strange look. I wondered what my face looked like.

I made my way to my seat not really seeing anything.

Not even Eros. Until she turned in her seat looking at me.

"Are you okay?" she asked

I finally looked up meeting her gaze and managed to get out a "Fine." Feeling a dopey smile spread across my face.

_He kissed me. He kissed me. Jared Artis kissed me. Okay it was on cheek. But still! _

By the time class had ended however, my feelings of euphoria had all but completely disappeared.

I looked up at Eros packing my bag. "I need to talk to you." I said in case she'd forgotten

She looked up at me nodding. "Where?"

I looked around. "How about here? We'll just wait till everyone leaves."

She sat down to wait. I did the same.

"I got an A on my art project." She said

"Congratulations!" I smiled at her.

"I'm not sure what Hanna got."

"I'm sure she did fine."

A few minutes later everyone had cleared the room. Eros turned looking directly at me.

I took a deep breath.

"I missed Trig." I said "I went and talked to Jared in the music room because….well you know how it's empty first period."

She nodded. I was stalling and we both knew it.

_Just do it Kim. Like ripping of a band aid. The longer you draw it out, the more painful it will be._

"I told him that one of my friends liked him."

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened. I put up a hand to stop her.

"I didn't give him a name or anything." Her shoulders relaxed. "I told him that it wasn't worth my friendship…" her face lifted slightly and she relaxed a bit more.

_Did she not care at all that I liked him? Loved him? Had she not seen my face when I'd walked into the building this morning?_

I looked at her. Her face looked slightly puzzled. "How come you skipped your trig class, I thought you talked to him this morning?" she asked her voice slightly accusing.

"I did talk to him this morning, but I just told him to please leave me alone, but when I came out of the bathroom he was waiting for me. He said he needed to talk to me so we went to the music room. I told him one of my friends liked him. that it wasn't worth the friend ship if he didn't really like me. If this was just about a good grade or whatever. And if that was the case to just…..leave me alone."

She nodded. "Good for you."

_The nerve!_

She was really getting ahead of herself. Already so sure of the outcome.

"But," I said. "he told me that wasn't the case. He..basically he asked me out." I said. She didn't need all the gory details.

"What!?"

She was really starting to piss me off.

As my anger grew my guilt started to slowly diminish. I understood that she liked him, I understood that she would be upset, but she didn't sound hurt. She sounded vindictive, like she wanted me to hurt, to not be happy. I had a feeling that if I'd said no to Jared and been sad and depressed, she wouldn't have really cared. She may have played the part if that had been the case but somehow I highly doubted that she would really feel bad about the choice she had guilt tripped me into making

"Look Eros." I said standing up. "I'm sorry. Whether you believe that or not I truly am. But….I love Jared! And by some miracle he likes me a lot to."

She stood up, her eyes flashed, anger simmered there.

"I can't believe you. How could you do this to me!:

That was it. That right there did it!

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!" I screamed "THIS IS ABOUT ME! ABOUT MY LIFE AND MY CHOICES. I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP SOMEONE I LOVE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET OVER YOURSELF." I took a deep breath trying to calm myself and slow my breathing

"Do you hear yourself Eros! I this and I that. You haven't once considered my feelings, how much it might hurt **me** to turn him down."

"Oh and you've considered mine!" Eros said her tone biting.

I threw up my hands. "OBVIOUSLY! I wouldn't have told him to stay away from me in the first place if it wasn't for you."

She opened her mouth to argue some more but I cut her off. I was done talking.

"Look," I said. "I'm not discussing this anymore. I've made my decision. if you still want to be my friend great. If you don't…..fine that's your choice to make."

She laughed at me, it had a bitter and mocking edge to it. She grabbed her books shaking her head

"You're such an idiot!" she said. I jerked back from her harsh words and her even harsher tone."He's using you."

I was quiet for a minute and then decided to indulge her. I folded my arms. 'What do you mean?"

"Everyone's talking about it," she said "Jared and **Paul** their **together** and you're just his cover. Jared's gay. He picked you because he could get away with not touching you, miss **virgin**." Her words were cutting she meant for them to hurt. She took one last disgusted look at me and then turned to leave.

"Then why are you so angry about him asking me out?" I said under my breath as she walked out of the room. I turned grabbing my bag.

The door opened and Katy came in walking to the other side of the room.

"Forgot my book." She said pulling it from under her seat. "It's not all over the school." She said looking at me. "It was just speculation. Don't take this the wrong way." She said "But I've…..**know** Jared and I know for a fact that he's not gay or bisexual. Anyways.." she said shrugging her shoulders "I see the way he looks at you. He really likes you. Do you….really like him?"

I smiled slightly and nodded.

She looked at me skeptically. "I mean like him for more than his personality and popularity." She said. Her voice was a bit cutting.

I nodded my head. "Yes." I said sincerely. "I liked him before he was popular."

She raised her eyebrows at me. Probably realizing how far that went back.

I look passed over her face that I couldn't quite read or understand. It looked almost sad and wanting.

She nodded and left the room.

I went straight to the lunchroom and went through the line then headed for my usual table. Until I realized Eros was sitting there. I looked around the room every table had a group at it.

I was not good at making new friends.

I was contemplating heading outside when I noticed Hanna waving me over. Ben followed her gaze waving at me. Eros followed her gaze as well, glaring at me.

I tried to pretend as if I hadn't seen them but Hanna just waved harder trying to get my attention.

I took a deep breath and headed for the table.

I sat down. Eros looked at me and grunted shaking her head as if to say "unbelievable" she got up and grabbed her tray.

I watched her go slouching slightly in my chair.

I looked up at Hanna to see her glaring at me. Great. Eros had probably told them everything,

"Don't you dare." She said

"What?" I asked as I unwrapped my sandwich.

"Feel guilty." She said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Shouldn't I?" I was a bit confused.

"No!" she said shaking her head.

"She's been my best friend since I was like eight and I've hurt her." She went to interrupt me. I held up my hand. "I know she's kind of being a bitch but…"

"Kind of?" Hanna said

"Ok a lot. But I know how I would feel if it were me."

"Whatever." Hanna said shaking her head. "She's just ticked because she tried to play you and it didn't work."

I glanced over at Sean who was nodding his head finishing off a pudding cup. I looked over at Ben but he was just looking at Hanna his face blank.

"Come on Kim! You don't really believe that she had no idea that you liked Jared." She said becoming animated. " She knew! She knew, that's why she was always drooling over him and talking about him in front of you, and that's why she was acting all hurt and "_oh how could you do this to me Kim??!! Your suppose to be my best friend" _she said in a high nasal voice.

"Pa-lease I don't by that bullshit for one second!" she said shaking her head. She looked up at me sharply. "And don't you."

I looked at her, thinking. "You really think she knew all this time that I liked Jared?"

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Yes Kim!" she said in bored voice. "I've seen her glaring at you whenever you looked or smiled at Jared."

"Really?"

She nodded. 'Trust me she's more angry then hurt. I don't think she really likes Jared." She saw my unbelieving expression and shook her head. "Not the way you do. I think she likes the idea of Jared, more than the actual…" she broke off smirking at something behind me.

I turned to see Jared walking across the cafeteria heading towards me. I smiled at him. He came over and sat down smiling at me.

"Hey. How was lunch?" he asked

I nodded. Feeling self conscious about the grin that was now stretched across my face. "Pretty good."

He smiled but his eyes studied my face. I knew what he was looking for.

"It went fine." I said. He relaxed and nodded

"Good."

The bell rang and Hanna, Ben, and Seth. All got up saying they'd see me later. I waved goodbye. Ben had been unusually quiet today. I wondered why that was.

I turned back to Jared. He was staring at me. I looked him over and then laughed.

"What?" he asked laughing with me.

I reached up and pulled a twig with a leaf still attached to it out of his hair.

"You have a branch in your hair." I said laughing.

I stared at the twig as if it was a playboy magazine his mom had just discovered under his mattress or something.

I couldn't even begin to guess why that was.

I studied his face. "How did that happen?"

He looked at me. Deliberating.

"I was walking… running through the woods."

"Why?" I asked puzzled.

"It's the quickest way to Sam's" he said

"Sam…..Uley?"

it was the only Sam I could think of. Probably because in the last year there had been so much talk about him. Sam was only two years older than me so I still remembered him from when he went to school with us. Him and especially Leah. Sam hadn't been very popular but Leah was popular and extremely pretty. She lived on the North side of Lapush. Sam lived to the West, enough said. Sam had developed a huge crush on her when they were in ninth grade and after months of letters and flowers he'd finally gotten her to go out with him. After that first date they were inseparable. He proposed to her in the twelfth grade. They were suppose to graduate, go to college, and then get married.

It never happened. That summer Sam disappeared. He'd left Leah's house saying he didn't feel well and was going home to rest. That was the last time anyone saw him for over a month. It didn't make any sense. His truck was in the driveway keys and wallet inside the house. Sam had no family, his mother had died several years back and his father had disappeared when Sam was just a child. The Clearwater's were his family. There had been flyers every where . Everyone was looking for him, even my dad had went out to help with the search. After two weeks everyone thought he was dead. Everyone except Leah, she wasn't going to stop until she saw a body. It happened around here sometimes. People took a walk and never came back.

A little over a month after his disappearance Sam just showed up. Someone said they'd seen a light on in his house. Leah had apparently went over there and there he was, at least that was the story I'd heard. He never said where he'd been or why he hadn't called to at least tell someone he was alright. At least not that I'd heard. No explanation was ever given. Things went back to normal, the gossip died down. That was until Leah's cousin was mauled by a bear. Sam had saved her but that wasn't what got people talking. Apparently Sam had left Leah, not only had he left her, but he'd left her for her cousin. Who had moved in with Sam.

No one could believe it. Not even me. They had seemed so in love. They were such a sure thing. I remember seeing them once at the grocery story. The way they looked at each other. I remember thinking I want that one day. The question on everyone's mind was . What was he thinking? What was Leah's cousin thinking . apparently Leah and Emily, was it? Were like sisters. Obviously not anymore. Weirder still was the fact that Harry Clearwater was still cordial to Sam. Apparently people had seen them in town loading wood into the back of Sam's truck as if nothing had happened. As if Sam hadn't broken his only daughter's heart. After the incident no one saw Leah for months she never left the house and very few people saw her even now. I'd seen her once, she had seemed empty and cold, I'd felt sorry for her remembering how bright and warm she use to be.

Sam was obviously a selfish asshole!

That's why when I said "Sam Uley," I'd fully expected Jared to look at me like I was crazy and shake his head giving me the last name of some other Sam I'd yet to meet.

Instead he nodded his head not looking at me. "Yeah." Was all he said

I stared at him not knowing what to say. "We'd better get going." He said still not meeting my eyes. I was sure he knew all the gossip and rumors that surrounded Sam Uley. Who didn't?

I couldn't resist. "I didn't know you were friends with him." I said trying to keep the curiosity out of my voice.

He looked over at me and nodded. "So everything went okay during lunch?" he asked

Obviously the subject matter was closed.

Biology was fun. We got to dissect frogs. Jared and Paul were hilarious.

Jared had been leaning over examining our specimen when he'd suddenly shot upright a confused and disgusted look on his face.

"What?" I'd asked

He hadn't answered. Instead he'd reached behind him, reaching into his shirt and pulling out something long and slimy.

"Gross." I'd said I was about to ask him what the hell is that when It had dawned on me what it was.

Entrails from one of the frogs. Everyone behind us started snickering.

Mr. Lucwen had his back to us helping another student.

Jared at whipped around trying to spot the culprit. It was obvious who it was. Paul was doubled over, laughing silently. Jared had shaken his head turning around and going back to our tray as if he was going to ignore what had just happened.

He quickly plucked out one of the eyes and then turned around flicking the eyeball at Paul and straight into Paul's open mouth.

Paul stood up bending over and effectively hacking the eyeball back up. It reminded me of a cat trying to get rid of a hairball.

I laughed so hard I'd cried hanging onto the desk for support.

Mr. Lucwen had turned around just as Paul had run past him and out the door.

"What's going on?"

Jared had managed to pull himself together. "Weak stomach." He'd said which had caused me to laugh even harder.

Mr. Lucwen had just rolled his eyes and turned around going back to whatever it was he had been doing, obviously not caring.

I would have enjoyed the glass even more. If it weren't for the fact that Eros wasn't sitting right behind me. Glaring daggers at my back.

**AN: I already know what I'm going to do for the next chapter so it should be up soon. It was going to be part of this chapter until I realized I already had nineteen pages. Enjoy!! Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:/ Ok, ok, ok. I'm really sorry I took so long posting this next chapter but I'm going to make it up to you I promise. Right now. First of all I have two stories I would like to recommend. The first is Broken, a Quil and Claire story, I don't usually like Quil and Claire stories but his one is awesome, it starts out sad but it gets good I promise. The second one is Coming Full Circle for all you Jacob and Bella lovers. Actually even if you don't like Jacob I think you can appreciate this one it is so well written. You can find them under my favorites. Also I have a new story. I'm not really sure about it and I might remove it but the first four chapters are up so let me know what you think. It still needs a lot of work, it's a very rough draft, I'm just tinkering with the idea. Also this story will start out in Jared's POV but it will alternate throughout the story so hopefully it's not too confusing but I want you to know what both characters are feeling and thinking without having to backtrack too much.**

**Last but certainty not least. Thanxs to**

**Alyleigh**

**Angelicmely**

**Jemenaperz**

**Tomyculn**

**Mango**

**Tooldforthis**

**Babyboangel**

**Agathonfan**

**Midnightsun**

**Lilythegoddess**

**Juletsinsanenurs**

**Kimikub**

**Blacklun**

**And**

**Overthedepend**

**For Reviewing**

**Chapter 4**

**JPOV**

I wasn't sure how to deal with this. This was a whole new ball game.

I had a lot of experience with girls, but I had never, and I do mean never been nervous around any of them. I know most guys get nervous with girls, but I never did. It just felt natural to me.

Kim is the first girl who has ever made me nervous.

Although in my defense I have plenty to be nervous about.

First of all we were about to walk into my house and I was nervous. A fact that made me even _**more**_ nervous because I wasn't use to being nervous.

Ok that logic is a little convoluted, but whatever.

Then the whole lunch thing had really caught me off guard and made me anxious. It was more than obvious that she had heard all the stupid rumors and gossip surrounding Sam just by the way she said his name.

And the look she had given me? Not good.

And worse yet, I was pretty sure that if she hadn't yet she was soon to hear the new rumors, not only surrounding Sam but also his……what were they calling us? Oh right!

Sam's gang.

The rumors hadn't spread far yet, but they would. Soon they would be all over Lapush. Just like when had Sam disappeared. I remember what that was like. Everyone had been talking about it and they were about to start talking again. Only this time it was going to include Paul, me, and anyone else who joined us.

There were rumors swirling that we were some kind of gang or cult or something. Even drugs had been mentioned. Apparently "drugs" were the reason Sam had disappeared and now he was trying to recruit people to join him.

It was absolute bullshit. It made me so angry. It was hard not to shift.

I saw the look on her face when I admitted being friends with Sam, I had desperately wanted to defend him, but unfortunately I couldn't do that if I wasn't going to tell her the truth, not without making it sound like I really was brainwashed and part of a cult or on drugs.

It would make her nervous and I couldn't afford that. Yet.

Even Sam had suggested keeping exactly how close we were, to myself. He knew what people thought about him, and more importantly what they said.

Even my mother and sister didn't know that I hung out with Sam. My sister only knew I had become friends with Paul because we went to the same school.

She had tried to discuss it with me, but I had made it pretty clear that Paul and I's friendship was not open for discussion. Which of course only made her more suspicious. It was pretty funny that people thought we might be gay.

Well I found it funny. Paul not so much. The first time he'd heard that rumor he had exploded. Literally. He was not amused to say the least, especially when he considered himself a "ladies man", and to his credit he pretty much was. I can say that with absolute conviction, having been inside his head.

It was so unfair.

Every time I overhead someone saying something about Sam. I wanted to defend him, actually rip them a new one was more accurate. I couldn't help it. It was a loyalty thing. He was my Alpha.

Paul had a much harder time of it with his temper and all, but Sam had warned us that we had to learn to let it go.

The gossip was already gaining speed. Our names were starting to be mentioned along with Sam's as more and more people noticed us hanging out together and everyone had a theory as to why. None of which were flattering or for that matter even close to the truth.

I had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't be long until my mother heard about them and questioned me about it and worse yet probably not long until Kim heard them not to mention her parents.

When Sam had mentioned Kim's parents I had given him a pretty much "and your point is?" look which was when he had explained about Emily's parents. Parents could cause trouble. I needed them to like me. So that they would allow me to spend time with their daughter, my imprint.

I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. I took a deep breath and looked over at Kim. She had the strangest expression on her face. It seemed like she was studying me or something. It made me even more nervous then I already was.

"What?' I asked smiling at her.

She looked at me leaning her head slightly to the side. A gesture that was now becoming familiar to me. She always did it when she was contemplating what she was going to say.

She frowned slightly then shrugged.

She looked down at her lap, biting her lip.

_God that was sexy as hell!! I wonder what she taste like? No. Focus Jared._

I reached out taking her chin in my hand and tilting her head up so I could meet her eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" she said. "You seem worried."

I so wanted to tell her everything. Her being my imprint, it made me want to tell her everything, to be honest with her completely. It felt wrong to not be honest with her. I had promised myself that I would be as honest as possible with her. I would try to not bring up anything that I could not completely discuss with her

I shrugged.

"Nothing. Everything. I just have a lot on my mind." I smiled at her then got out of the car and went to open the door for her.

**KPOV**

I stood at Jared's dining room table packing my bag. We had spent over an hour on our project and we'd made a lot of head way.

I glanced at my phone. I had a little over a half hour until I needed Jared to drive me home.

I looked up. Jared was smiling down at me. As usual. He was so beautiful. It was ridiculous.

He took my hand.

"How about a tour?" he said

"Sure." He bent down and kissed my check lingering. I felt my breathing speed up. My body heating up. Aching slightly.

He pulled back smiling at me as if one little word had made his day.

He saved what I was most interested in for last.

His bedroom.

"And this is my bedroom." He said. He seemed a bit nervous. It was cute actually.

It was nice. Really nice.

It interested me even more because I realized this was Jared's personal space. It was like getting a peek into who he really was.

The floors were wood a warm brown color. Smooth and shiny.

A huge midnight blue rug covered most of the floor, the same color as the walls. There was a medium sized flat screen hanging on the wall to my right directly above a nice entertainment system. A nice dark blue couch that curved sat in front of it. On the other wall was a larger stereo system. To my left was a desk, the wood color matching the floor. It took up the entire wall curving slightly it held an expensive looking computer. Half of the desk looked almost like an easel or a special writing desk with cabinets set into the wall directly above it.

The room was filled with different things here and there. Books and papers, a pair of shoes in front of the couch, a sweat shirt hanging over the desk chair.

I approached the desk then stopped turning to look at him. He was watching me closely, a slight smile on his face.

"Do you draw?" I said

He nodded.

So that explained why he was so interested in the fact that I drew.

I was about to ask him what kind of drawings he did and what different techniques he used when something very obvious occurred to me.

"Where's your bed?" I asked looking around for the bed that was obviously not there. Maybe the couch turned into a bed?

He laughed then turned heading for what I had assumed was his closet. The doors were beautiful carved wood, matching his floor.

He grabbed the handles sliding the doors open.

It was not a closet.

It was another room a walked in behind him looking around.

A large sleigh bed sat to my left against the wall a huge dark blue comforter that looked extremely soft and inviting with a slight shine to it covered the bed. The wood was darker in this room. Still warm. Like Jared.

Directly across from the bed was a large fire place. A low couch sat in front of it, the material matching his bed spread. Another large rug covered most of the floor.

"Bathroom," he said pointing behind us to the right. He turned

"Closet." He said pointing directly across from us to the two double doors.

This room was the same as the other one. Warm and inviting. It looked lived in but it was clean. I had a feeling Jared wasn't responsible for that.

I noticed a huge book case that reached from floor to ceiling across the room and to my left on the opposite wall. I walked over to it scanning the titles. They were all different some I recognized, a lot I didn't. I leaned forward leaning slightly against the book case, it moved slightly and I moved back afraid I would break it.

Jared laughed slightly behind me.

I turned, he had moved across the room sitting on the bed facing me.

"It slides." He said. "Push it to your right."

I did as he said and the book case slide easily into the wall revealing another book case behind it.

I turned to look at him. "How many are there?"

"Five. That wall goes back farther then it appears to."

"Nice ." I said moving towards him.

_Seriously? Nice. That was the biggest understatement of the year. He practically had his own apartment._

He pulled me down next to him, sitting on the bed.

"So….how did you become friends with Sam? I asked even though I had a feeling he wasn't going to give out to many details.

He looked at me. I could tell my question made him nervous and uncomfortable, but I couldn't understand why.

He shrugged.

"Sam's….you shouldn't….believe everything you hear. Ok?" he said

I hesitated then nodded, I wasn't sure what else to do.

He leaned back slightly putting his arm around me. Pressing his lips to my forehead.

I turned slightly pressing my face into the crook between his neck and shoulder. He smelled so good. His heat was amazing.

He shivered slightly, pulling back.

I looked up meeting his eyes.

He studied me for a second then bent down, so close I could feel his hot breath tickling my lips. It made my mouth water.

My heart was beating so hard it seemed unhealthy.

He hesitated only a second longer before he leaned in pulling me closer, brushing his lips against mine. He was moving frustratingly slow, like he was afraid of scaring me.

He pressed his lips to mine, and my heart sped up even more.

I don't quite understand how that's possible without it giving out but it is.

I couldn't stop the slight moan that escaped my lips. I shocked myself.

I pressed my fingers into his back trying to get even closer.

He pulled back ever so slightly letting the tip of his hot tongue trace the line in-between my lips. I opened my mouth without even thinking allowing him entrance. He moved his tongue into my mouth ever so slightly sliding his tongue against mine, tasting me before he kissed me deep and hard.

Don't get me wrong I liked kissing, it was….alright, but that was before.

Before kissing Jared.

I could seriously understand why people became nemphomaniacs.

I could seriously get addicted to Jared, especially if he was going to kiss me like this everytime.

He tasted so good. Hot, the slightest undercurrent of something I couldn't quite place. I couldn't get enough of him. My hands moved up to his face, sliding down his neck and into his hair pulling him closer. His arms wrapped around my waist squeezing me so tight it almost hurt.

He pulled back yet again, flicking his tongue out against mine. He caught my tongue inbetween his lips sucking on it. He moaned against my lips like he was tasting something extremely good before moving to my jaw and trailing wet kisses down my throat. I opened my eyes, sucking in air trying to clear my foggy brain.

_I cannot believe he just did that. _

It was a good thing because I was pretty sure I had been about two second away from passing out due to a lack of oxygen.

His hands moved to my waist squeezing it lightly. His hands moved up under my shirt, brushing lightly against the bare skin of my waist.

I shivered and tensed slightly but his hands stayed there not moving any higher.

_I seriously might explode. _

_I don't know about him but this is definitely a whole new level for me. _

His kisses changed. They no longer felt sweet and slow. _**Not**_ that I was complaining.

I had a feeling he was no longer afraid of scaring me. His kisses felt more passionate and lustful and I liked it, a lot.

His lips moved along my jaw and down to the hollow between my collarbone. I seriously felt rubbery, like my bones were slowly melting inside of my body.

A whimper escaped from my lips as his tongue ran along the outside of my collar bone leaving soft kisses and nips with his teeth. I had _never_ been kissed like this.

Jared moaned against my neck.

"Mmmm….you…taste so fucking good." He said

I felt heat move down from the pit of my stomach and out. It was an oddly pleasurable feeling. I had never heard Jared's voice sound like that. It took on a whole different tone. It sounded deeper and had a slight growl to it.

It was damn sexy

He pushed my right sleeve of off my shoulder slightly exposing, licking, kissing, and biting the bar flesh there. My heart was trying to escape out of my chest. It was too much. My stomach was so tight and it constricted even more at every new touch.

I realized I desperately wanted to touch him back. I brought my hands down running them over the tight muscles of his forearms, his biceps, and broad shoulders. I ran my hand up under is shirt reveling in the feeling of his bare flesh. He tensed at my touch then relaxed moaning against my neck. It was amazing to me how anyone so hard and built could have such soft skin it was like silk against my fingers and so hot. I could feel the heat traveling up my arms were I touched him and lingering on my skin were is mouth and hands touched me.

I was so tightly wound from his touch I felt like a coil ready to snap.

**JPOV**

She tasted so good. She tasted warm and slightly sweet.

It was almost impossible to hold back and she wasn't making it any easier. She kept moaning and then she was touching me running her hands up under my shirt.

And don't even get me started on her scent. I could smell her so much better the hotter she got. It was like a drug rendering me incoherent.

I wanted to taste and lick every inch of her. She smelled so good. No one had ever made me feel like this. She was perfect. Made just for me.

She felt so good under my hands. Perfect.

A familiar sound brought me back to reality. I broke the kiss not sure if I had heard what I thought I had. I tilted my head listening.

The front door opened then slammed shut as a familiar voice called out.

"Jared?"

I swallowed a growl. Paul. His timing was impeccable. Seriously.

I glanced down at Kim. Her eyes were trained on my bedroom door. I moved off the bed heading towards the door as I heard Paul running up the stairs.

Kim's smell was so strong, at least to me. It was making it hard to focus. I wanted to just lock the door and try and ignore Paul not that it would work knowing him he'd just break the door down anyways.

I turned to Kim. "I'll be right back." She smiled and nodded

I was seriously going to strangle Paul. I made it to the door just as Paul burst through.

"I called why didn't you answer your damn phone?!" he snarled. Great he was pissed. It really would not do to have him phase with Kim less than twenty feet away.

I spoke so low that I could barely hear myself to make sure Kim wouldn't overhear.

"Calm down Paul, Kim is here."

Is face changed in an instant. At first he just looked exasperated, then his eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared and then he smirked.

"Oh, I see." He said.

Now I was the one having trouble controlling my temper. It shouldn't have mattered he'd see it in my head later anyways. Patrolling could seriously get boring and when it did your mind wandered.

I growled at him.

"Anyways," he said ignoring me "I need you to take patrol tonight."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off.

"You can stalk Kim some other night. My aunt broke her leg, I have to drive my mom down to Seattle tonight. I couldn't get out of it I tried. I need you to take my place tonight and then I'll do a double."

I sighed and nodded.

"Alright."

Paul smiled punching me in the arm.

"Thanks man. Well.. I'll let you get back to….whatever it was you were doing ." he said suggestively wiggiling his eyebrows at me.

I glared at him.

He laughed then turned to leave. He stopped when he reached the door, turning to smirk at me.

"Say Jared?"

"What?"

"Are you aware of Kim's little…..condition?"

I was slightly worried and pissed. Condition? Why would it be funny if Kim had a condition?

I swallowed hard. "What….condition?" I said stepping forward

Paul laughed at me silently. "Her DSL." He said a serious expression on his face.

"Her…..What!?"

"D-S-L." he said as if I should automatically know what the hell he was talking about. "Her Dick Suck Lips."

I snarled and lunged at him.

He dodged me easily sprinting out of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door laughing all the way.

That's the last time I do him a favor.

"Ass!" I muttered under my breath. I had to smile a bit though, the more I thought about it. He wasn't wrong. I just really wish he hadn't been the one to notice it.

I walked back into my bedroom. Kim was sitting on my bed her legs curled up under her.

That had to be the best sight I'd ever seen.

Kim.

On my bed.

I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Sorry about that." I said

"Its fine." She slid over making room for me. I smiled and went over to sit by her.

I wrapped my arms around her as she leaned against me.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah…" I hesitated trying to decide how much I could tell her. "Paul was suppose to be helping Sam tonight but he can't so he asked me to take his place."

"Oh."

I couldn't read her tone, I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking.

I looked down at her and she met my eyes but I still couldn't read her expression.

She brought her hand up to my face.

"Kiss me." She said giving me a slightly mischievous smirk.

My heart rate practically doubled. I bent down without a moment's hesitation kissing her and pulling her against me.

She broke the kiss before I was ready. I let out a slightly frustrated moan. I could seriously spend hours kissing her. I looked at her slightly swollen lips and couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. Remembering Paul's words. She really did have the perfect mouth for…I cut the thought off. _Focus Jared._

She laughed

"What time is it?"

I looked over at my alarm clock.

"Five twenty-six."

She sighed then looked up at me smiling slightly.

"I have to get home."

I leaned in kissing her lightly on the lips then moved off the bed taking her hand.

**KPOV**

The rest of the night I was in a daze. My dad didn't seem to notice but my mom kept shooting me looks. I honestly couldn't bring myself to care.

Jared was….god there were no words. I had honestly never been so turned on. One thing was for sure. Kissing Jared was seriously dangerous. I had never considered going farther so quickly with someone in my life. Not that it would matter I mean I was on the pill and everything but it just shocked me that I was already thinking that way.

Not that I would act on it. I can control myself.

I think.

I hope

But his kisses were so…..so. I let it go. Who needed to put a name on everything anyways.

That night I dreamed about Jared. A strange dream. It started out great.

I was in Jared's room, laying on his bed on my stomach. He was laying behind me. All I could see were his hands and flashes of those perfect dark eyes and lips. The fire that I had seen that afternoon in his eyes was back. There were no lights only the fire place was lit. His hands glided across my skin. Leaving warmth and desire in their wake. His buring lips followed closely behind.

Then suddenly they stopped and I instantly missed his touch. I cold breeze moved through the room extinguishing the fire leaving the room dark and cold. I shivered. I looked up and there was a door standing open across the room, leading into the moon lit forest. For some reason it didn't strike me as odd that I was on the second floor and yet there was a door leading into the forest. I wandered through the woods, no particular destination or purpose in mind. I stopped suddenly when I heard someone whisper my name it sounded like they were right behind me. Whispering in my ear.

I turned around but no one was there. Only a huge mirror. Silver and beautifully ornate. The only odd thing about the mirror was that it gave no reflection.

Then I saw her walking towards me in the mirror. I turned but there was no one behind me. I gasped and stepped back as I recognized the person approaching in the mirror, coming closer. She stopped when she appeared close. The reflection matching mine perfectly.

It was me, but I looked….different. My face held a smug smirk as if my reflection knew something I didn't. The hair was shorter the cheekbones sharper more defined. Her build was different too, harder than mine, toned and perfect. She wore clothes that I would never wear. There was something intimidating, and impressive about her. I didn't really recognize myself.

I took another step back, trying to decide whether to run or not. A monster stepped out of the woods behind my reflection. I pointed trying to warn her but weird Kim just grinned at me. It was beautiful this huge thing stalking closer. It's fur the color of perfect silver, like a new dime, a snow white streak down its nose.

I turned around fast nearly tripping over my feet realizing that this was indeed a reflection and that huge creature was most likely behind me. I was even more shocked by what I saw.

Jared stood there smiling down at me. I instantly felt relief.

"Jared wha..?"

"Ssshhh…" he said

He reached out grabbing me by the shoulders and turning me to face the mirror. I shrunk back the monster was extremely close now and I could see it better. It was not truly a monster but it was still terrifying.

The great wolf stood directly behind my reflection close enough to touch. It moved forward and I tensed but it only rested its head lightly on my reflections shoulder closing its eyes. I met my reflections eyes. She continued smirking at me as she reached up stroking the wolf. I long dagger like sword appeared in her hand so fast that I didn't even see where it came from. The dagger was odd, black and white and thick almost like bone.

My eyes flew back up to my reflection. Her expression had completely done a three=sixty. She was shaking, she looked as if she was in pain, furious, sad, and scarred all at once. Her mouth opened as if she was screaming but no sound came out. She moved with lightning quick speed thrusting the sword through the wolf's chest. I screamed feeling a pain slice through my heart and fear. I had never felt so much fear and agony before, it was overwhelming. I felt like I was dying and yet I was still breathing and my heart still beat in my chest. I had a feeling death wasn't coming anytime soon, only this pain was going to be my companion. Only pain and this unbearable emptiness

The wolf stumbled back it looked stunned. My reflection turned back to me. I realized she was screaming, but she was screaming so hard that nothing was coming out. Blood ran down her nose and she appeared to age and shrink right before my eyes. I was terrified. I didn't want to see this and yet I couldn't look away

Behind me I felt the ground shudder and realized that I didn't feel Jared's hands on my shoulder anymore. I turned around but Jared was not there. I looked down and saw him. He lay on the ground at my feet his breathing uneven. I stood there unable to move.

Blood seeped from a wound in his chest. He looked up at me our eyes meeting.

"Kim?" he said

And then his breathing stopped. Just stopped. His eyes unfocused. Seeing nothing. I heard screaming and realized it was me.

That was when I woke up.

**AN:/Ok I'm not sure why but this chapter was so hard to write it seriously took me like four hours of writing and rewriting. I'm still not happy with it but it had to be written it's more of a filler chapter so that the story with make sense later on, which is why it's so short. So what did you think of the Lemon. I've never written one before so be kind. There will be juicy lemon's in the future. If you know a good beta lemon writer. Please pass them along. I've already started working on the second chapter so it should be up soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:/ I am seriously excited to write this chapter hopefully it came out ok. Kim's dream is saying a lot and will play a much bigger part in the story as you will see. This story is about to take a twist, hopefully I can pull it off without jumping the shark as they say. Flashbacks will be in italics with stars before and after so hopefully it won't get to confusing. **

**Thanxs to,**

**Overdadepend**

**Alyleigh**

**Angelicmely**

**Alexisrose**

**Blakluna**

**Jimnaperez**

**Kimikub**

**Midnightsun**

**Lilmisgiggles**

**Ramensteal**

**For reviewing**

**And especially**

**Tooldforthis**

**For her help and advice for my lemon**

**Chapter 5**

It's been a little over one month

One of the most amazing months of my entire life. For the first time in my life I don't have to act, I don't have to pretend. Not that I could even if I wanted to. Jared seems to notice everything about me. Every sigh, every small facial gestures, he seems to notice. Not only does he notice but he seems to know exactly what they mean.

I can be me, even though the real me always over thinks everything and is slightly weird and antisocial. It's kind of scary being so honest and….exposed with someone, but it's also nice.

I've always noticed everything about Jared, well I thought I did, but in the last month it's become very clear that there is so much more to Jared then I previously thought. He is the most….caring, sweet, and seriously funny person I think I have ever met.

As wonderful as this past month with Jared has been, it has also been bitter sweet. Very sweet and extremely bitter to tell the truth.

Of course Eros has been a slight problem becoming part of the "Kim is a bitch and we hate her "club, but at least I've gained a friend in Hanna.

Not that I have been able to enjoy that fact much.

Not when I have so many other worries.

My mind has been so confused lately that I haven't even had time to worry about Eros; her issues with me are laughable in comparison with everything else that's been going on.

I could go through the whole Eros drama a hundred more times and it would still be a cake walk compared to my problems of late.

First of all there are the stares that I face every day. They died down pretty much after the first week; I had thought that was the end of it, but by the second week things had taken a turn for the worse.

The gossip started.

The only good thing I can say about the gossip is that it's not really about me; it does however concern someone who matters a lot _to_ me.

Jared.

Not only do I hear the latest gossip at school everyday all day, but I also have to hear it when I go home. This is the reason why my parents have no idea about my involvement with Jared.

One of the things, or I should say one of the many things putting a stop to my complete happiness is Jared's odd behavior.

_Jared_

Jared is almost perfect. Except for the fact that he makes no sense. He is a contradiction unto himself.

My relationship with Jared is like…..like the perfect chocolate cake. I can see it, touch it, smell it, taste it. It is perfect in every way. Except for one major problem that no matter how hard I try I cannot over look. This cake, this perfect beautiful cake, is sitting in an empty, closed off room, meaning there is no explanation for how it came to be. There's no stove, no counters, no cooking utensils, no fridge. It just is. That's my relationship with Jared in a nutshell, and it's not just Jared's relationship with me, it's with everyone. His old friends, not to mention his new friendship with Paul and Sam.

None of it makes sense. I know he's not pretending or acting. He is nothing if not sincere.

_Jared aka "Sex god" no….seriously I thought Jared was hot and sexy before, but dear god…that boy has got some serious moves but I digress, _

One of the many odd and unexplained things about Jared of late, is the fact that he has not asked to meet my parents or even if he can come over.

Which leads me to believe he has a pretty good idea of what's being said about him and his involvement with "Sam's gang" even though he pretends otherwise. He probably assumes that my parents have heard the rumors meaning they will definitely not approve of him dating their only daughter.

In fact Jared has yet to bring up even one of the many things being said about him, he acts as if he has no clue that he is fast becoming the number one topic of gossip around Lapush.

Jared and I had been "going out" for about three days when I decided to break the news to my parents that I was dating someone who was six foot eight and looked like he should be one of my teachers instead of a student.

Luckily for me, my mother was distracted by the phone before I could open my big mouth and when she returned she launched into the latest gossip.

*************************************************************************************

"_So…" my mom said. Raising her eyebrows and giving my father a meaningful look._

"_I was in Fredrick's this evening picking up some last minute things, and guess who walked in?"_

"_Who?" my father asked_

_I wasn't really listening. I was actually planning out in my head what I was going to say when she finished talking. After her next words however, she had my complete attention._

"_Sam's gang." My mom said with a sarcastic tint to her voice, raising her arms up slightly and using air quotes. "All three of them."_

_My dad snorted in disgust._

"_Yeah…yeah.." he said. "I've seen them."_

"_Well," my mom said, "I just feel sorry for Mrs. Brummett. Jared was always such a good kid. I don't know much about the other one. What's his name?"_

"_Mmmm…Paul….Paul Corner."_

"_Mary's Son?" my mom asked._

_My father nodded. "That's the one." He said shaking his head. "I tell you, I just wish….it's one thing for Sam to be…well him, but dragging other boys into it. He's no good. Wish he'd just leave."_

"_I don't know." My mom said. "They're just kind of odd. I'm not sure they're dangerous or anything. It just strikes me as odd is all. The elders paying Sam such respect."_

_My father snorted again. "I don't care. If I had a son one things for sure, he wouldn't be going anywhere near Sam or the rest of them for that matter."_

_I wonder if that includes daughters. I have a feeling it does._

_My mother nodded in agreement, while I slipped farther into my chair feeling slightly nauseous._

_My mother looked over at me giving me an odd look._

"_Kim?" she said_

_I looked up at her. "Yeah?"_

"_Are you alright?" something was slightly off about her voice. I looked at my dad. He sat there eating as if he hadn't heard anything._

_Did she know about Jared?_

_I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Yeah, fine. Just tired."_

_She nodded still looking at me almost as if she was looking for something._

_************************************************************************************_

I 'm still not sure what my mom does or does not know, but so far she hasn't said anything and after that conversation there is no way in hell I'm going to.

So needless to say that after a month of dating my parents still don't know anything about Jared, well besides what they hear around town which is not flattering or in no way going to help ease the blow when they finally do find out. In fact I'm surprised some stupid kid at school who has no life of their own hasn't said anything to their parents who in turn have said something to one of mine, but it is only a matter of time.

I'm sure of it.

I've been trying to tell them before they find out, but for some reason I just can't seem to work up the courage.

My parents trust me. I mean I don't even have a curfew because I never stay out late. I always come home at a descent hour.

When I do come home late, or don't come home from school. I just name off one or two of the usual people I hang out with. My parents won't check and Hanna is always up for a little covert operation.

Not that I need to use her that much for any such thing.

It's another one of the many things that bothers me that I don't understand, and makes no sense when it comes to Jared.

I don't get to spend much time with him.

If it weren't for the fact that every time Jared and I say goodbye he seems so annoyed and upset about it, I would think he was just trying to get away from me, that he just wanted time alone or to hang out with his friends, not that he has any, well not at school anyways, except for Paul.

Other then school and at his house after school we really don't see each other that much.

Which sucks because the more I get of Jared the more I want. The more I learn about him the more I love him. Like the fact that he has five different smiles and six different laughs or how sweet he looks when he's sleeping or most of all how good he taste and how amazing he smells.

It's odd.

It's in the back of my mind like a sore I just can't stop picking at and the fact that I feel like it's something I _need_ to figure out, only makes it worse.

He can hardly ever hang out at night.

He always has to "help" Sam or something, and although we rarely spend late nights together somehow he manages to appear exhausted at school.

I don't want to be one of _those_ girlfriends, but I can't help questioning him. Not that it helps, he always gives vague answers.

Which of course only fuels my worries and suspicion.

I would be even more on his case if I didn't have some serious and possibly mental issues of my own to deal with.

He even disappeared from school for almost a week, _again_. He had called me but he wouldn't really tell me where he had been, just that he wasn't sick and that he "had some stuff to take care of".

I'm sorry but that is **not** an answer.

I love him, but I'm getting tired of it. I don't need this right now; I have enough going on that I don't understand. I need him to be a sure thing right now, more than anything.

I trust him completely, a lot more then I should considering the circumstances, but I don't feel like he trust me and that hurts. Especially when I would do anything for him. It's ridiculous for him to not trust me when he has no reason not to and every reason to.

I need him right now more than he can even imagine.

I searched through my closet trying to find the appropriate outfit for tonight's dinner.

_Dinner._

I sighed letting my mind drift to a particular afternoon spent in Jared's bedroom last week. An afternoon that I had revisited in my head at least a hundred times.

*************************************************************************************

_I walked around the corner to find Jared sitting on his bed waiting for me. Just seeing him made my heart beat faster._

_I was nervous. I have no idea why, I've been alone with Jared before._

_I stood there for a minute unsure of what to do._

_He gave me the smile. My absolute favorite because after almost a month with Jared I knew what this one meant. Slightly crooked and mischievous. He had something in mind, and that something almost always had to do with him ending up on top of me._

_My heart rate sped up even more, I swallowed hard. Calm down Kim, just breathe._

_I walked over, stopping just in front of him._

_He reached forward pulling me in-between his legs, his arms encircling my waist. _

_I ran my fingers through his hair, noticing how silky and warm it felt against my skin, tickling my wrist._

_Jared moaned, slightly whimpered as he leaned against my hand, then buried his face against my neck, nuzzling me slightly. _

_I hugged him back, feeling slightly worried. He seemed….a bit sad. Like it was the last time he might be touching me or something. _

_That was the moment. The first time I thought Jared might be involved in something……dangerous, illegal? I wasn't sure what title to put on it._

_My thoughts were cut off as he started kissing and nipping at my throat._

_I pulled him tighter against me, breathing in his warm and wild scent._

_He cradled my face in his hands, placing gentle kisses everywhere._

_My brow, my nose, my cheeks, my chin, my lips._

_Jared moved down to my collar bone flicking his tongue out, sucking hard against the smooth skin that stretched over the bone there. He undid the first two buttons of my shirt, brushing his fingers against the exposed skin as he went._

_He pulled back slightly, meeting my eyes._

"_Is this ok?" he said a bit breathless._

_I nodded_

_He bent down brushing his lips lightly against mine, letting me feel his hot breath. I opened my mouth slightly, tasting him on my tongue._

_I moaned against his mouth. Wanting more of him_

_I moved closer catching his tongue in-between my lips and sucking on it gently. _

_He moaned thrusting his tongue deeper inside my mouth. _

_His hands trailed down my back cupping my ass and squeezing it firmly. _

_His heat felt amazing. _

_He lifted me up, guiding me so that I was sitting on his lap straddling him._

_I gasped felling him hard against me, my hips acted of their own accord grinding against him. He moaned, bending forward and pressing his face against my neck._

"_Kim." He moaned_

_He was so warm and I wanted so much more of him. I could feel his heat against my groin making me squirm slightly._

_He pulled back, undoing the rest of my buttons and removing my shirt. I pulled his shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. Anxious to feel his bare skin against mine._

_I had never seen Jared without his shirt, but it was obvious from the moment my greedy eyes took in his absolutely perfect physique, that his clothes did not do him justice and they hid __**a lot. **__Feeling Jared's hard body pressed against mine and seeing it were two entirely different things._

_All I could manage was a "Damn!"_

_He laughed. "Your one to talk." He said his voice low and deep _

_He studied me. Letting his eyes move slowly over my body. I suddenly felt very self conscious, realizing that this was the first time any guy had ever seen this much of me._

_Without thinking I moved my arms to cover myself._

"_Kim." He said _

_He frowned down at me, taking my wrists and removing them from across my chest. _

"_Don't you dare." He said pulling me close "You're so beautiful."_

"_I love your body" he said so low I could barely hear him._

_I kissed his shoulder, trying to hide the blush that I could now feel covering my face. He pulled me closer kissing my hair._

_He moved us up onto the bed, pulling me underneath him. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him closer._

_He ground his hips against me causing a breathless and might I add slightly embarrassing moan to escape my lips._

_I moved my hand to his jeans unbuttoning them. He lifted up allowing me to push them off his hips. He kicked them off and reached for mine pulling them off easily._

_He laid back down in-between my legs moving against me, kissing me._

_My head was spinning. All I could feel and hear was Jared. He seemed to be everywhere. Covering every inch of my skin with kisses, he hands, his heat._

_Although I did have a moment of clarity realizing that he felt quite…..large. Not that I was planning on having sex with him right now, but for future reference……ouch._

_He moved his hand up my leg slowly, leaving a trail of heat. He moved to the back of my leg just above my knee kneading the flesh there. I felt my legs start to shake slightly as he moved a bit higher brushing his fingertips in-between my thighs. _

_I ached for him to go higher. _

_It was like he knew just where to touch me, what I liked. Exactly what would drive me insane with my need for more of him._

_Our kisses became rougher, to desperate for the taste and feel of each other to try and find a rhythm _

_Jared pressed his fingers into my back, the heat from them seemed to seep so deep, all the way into my chest._

_I sound escaped from my lips that made it almost sound like I was on the verge of tears._

_He broke the kiss, his breathing ragged as he trailed the tip of his tongue up my throat stopping and biting me just below my earlobe._

_I loved it when he tasted me, it turned me on like nothing else._

_He pushed up , his body hovering just above mine._

_I laid my arm across his shoulder watching him as he moved his hands along my stomach and hips then back up to my back just under the strap of my bra._

_His touch was different. More firm. It felt good. Feeling his heat soak through my skin. _

_He kept his eyes locked on mine as he moved is fingers slightly under the back of my bra._

_I was seriously going to pass out if I didn't remember how to breath soon._

_He looked at me asking for permission to continue._

_All I could do was nod_

_He undid my bra removing it, he pulled me closer placing kisses as he made his way down my neck, so softly I could barley feel his lips._

_His hands moved up my ribs, stopping just under the swell of my breast His fingers moved slowly tracing the curve of each breast, barely touching me as he pulled back his eyes meeting mine._

_The lust I saw there made my breathing hitch_

_He added pressure with his fingers, squeezing slightly. My breast ached, my nipples tightening painfully_

_I had never been so desperate to be touched. My body felt like a live wire. Every touch sending waves of heat and electricity through my body. Making me tremble slightly._

_I marveled at his patience. Right now I seriously didn't care what he did to me._

_He stared at my breast, this time I didn't feel quite so self conscious._

_He looked up at me then moved in kissing me. "So beautiful." He murmured against me lips._

_He moved back down my neck at a frustratingly slow pace. Flicking his tongue over every sensitive spot. Sending shockwaves down my body. Making my nipples feel even tighter. Eliciting soft moans and whimpers from me._

_How the hell did he do that? Know each and every spot to hit._

_He kissed in-between my breast, biting me gently and moaning against me. Making the now familiar coil of heat and tension in my stomach become even tighter._

_His tongue made its way to the underside of my left breast causing me to hold my breath._

_He traced circles with his tongue. Coming ever closer to the part of my breast that needed the most attention._

_He finally took my nipple in his mouth flicking his tongue over it and sucking hard, making me moan, pushing my breast against his mouth. Desperate for more. His hot tongue against me breast made my brain incapable of coherent thought. All I could feel was the pleasure. The coil in my stomach seemed to snap as the fire traveled downward and out. Leaving heat and wetness in its wake._

_I had never felt that before. There was a new ache and throb only this time it was in-between my legs._

_I clenched my thighs squeezing his hips and rubbing myself against him, wanting to relieve the ache._

_Jared inhaled sharply and moaned, almost growled nipping at my breast. He moved back up wrapping his arms around me and kissing me so hard it almost hurt. _

_My lips were sure to be swollen._

_. I felt so hungry, so desperate, but it was for Jared and nothing else. _

_Before I could even realize what was happening Jared's hand moved in between my legs, he pushed my underwear to the side sliding his finger inside of me. I cried out in a mixture of pleasure, shock and pain thrusting my hips against his hand._

_It hurt slightly but the pleasure far outweighed the pain, _

_Jared froze, his hand unmoving._

_My eyes flew open to find him looking down at me with a scarred look on his face._

"_I'm…..sorry." he said moving his hand away from me._

_I reached down grabbing his hand. I shook my head then moved forward burying my face against his shoulder._

"_Don't stop." I moaned_

"_Are you sure?" he said breathing against my ear his hand resting in between my thighs. So close I could feel the heat of them._

_I nodded._

_He slide his finger back inside me, I squirmed slightly, it felt so good it was slightly overwhelming, I wanted to pull away from him, I felt like I couldn't take it but at the same time I didn't ever want him to stop._

_He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me against him, my leg hitched around his hip as he found a rhythm._

_I laid my head against his chest moaning against him as his thumb came up rubbing against the most sensitive spot._

_He pulled back slightly kissing me as he slide his finger deeper inside me._

_My senses were slowly becoming overwhelmed. _

_I felt myself becoming tighter, about to snap. I arched against the bed moaning his name as he found my breast again taking it in his mouth._

_My desire and lust felt out of control . The pleasure was double what I had ever felt before. He slid another finger inside me adding to the pressure and causing the pleasure to become even more intense._

_He pulled back to watch me. That's when I lost it. The coil snapped. I pushed back against the bed but his hand followed pushing hard against me. I reached behind me gripping one of his pillows for support as a moaned and squirmed. Feeling only pleasure, saying Jared's name. It was a new high and I never wanted to come down._

_His fingers slowed bringing me down from my climax. The aftershocks causing my body to twitch slightly._

_I opened my eyes meeting his somewhat awed expression. I smiled slightly looking down and blushing as he slide his fingers out. _

_I could feel how wet I was and it was slightly embarrassing. That was until Jared slid his finger into his mouth, tasting me._

_I raised an eyebrow at him. He was turning me on. Again._

_I laughed as he studied my face. "Do I taste good?" I asked_

_He nodded smiling at me._

_He rolled over, laying in between my legs and kissing my cheek._

_He laid down, his cheek pressing against my throat, his forehead resting against my cheek._

"_Your perfect." He said "I love you."_

_I froze_

_That was the first time. The first time Jared said "I love you." _

_I felt tears well up, which was utterly ridiculous. It wasn't just the fact that he said I love you, it was the way he said it. I had never heard anyone say I love you like that._

_I felt him stiffen as I did. He pulled back looking at me._

_He gave me a small smile swallowing hard. "To much too soon?" he said looking slightly hurt._

_I shook my head. 'No. " I said "You…you just caught me off guard."_

_He studied me still looking worried as if he didn't quite believe me._

_I couldn't help but smile, he was seriously adorable._

"_I love you." I said_

_The smile that lit up his face was breathtaking. He kissed me pressing against me still hard._

"_You just made my world." He said against my lips._

_He kissed me until I pushed him away, breaking the kiss. He looked at me, confused._

_I smiled up at him. "Your turn." I said pushing him on his back and sliding my hand under the waistband of his boxers._

_He flinched, a moan escaping his lips as I….._

_***********************************************************************************_

A door slammed somewhere downstairs bringing me out of my memories and back to the present . I blushed as if I had been caught in the actual act instead of just thinking about it, silly really considering there was no one in the room.

_Perfect! Now I was all hot and bothered._

I glanced at the clock. Only a half hour before Jared would be here.

I walked over to the window glancing down at the driveway in time to see my parents pull out of the yard. Dinner with the Bensens. Perfect, they wouldn't be here when Jared picked me up.

I moved to the dresser grabbing my brush and running it through my hair.

My mind wandered to some of the rumors that had been going around lately. Rumors I just couldn't get out of my head no matter how hard I tried

Some of them were pretty out there. Everything from drug dealing, to steroids.

At first I hadn't given them much credence. I mean Jared was so….sweet, and loving and a genuinely nice person.

But now I was worried that he might be mixed up in something he couldn't get out of. I mean just because a person is good doesn't mean they can't get mixed up in something that isn't.

_If Sam has gotten Jared mixed up in his pathetic life I will seriously kick his ass…..well I can try._

Not that it's all Sam's fault if Jared is mixed up in whatever Sam is, and I'm was pretty sure that he is, I can no longer deny that, at any rate Sam might have started it but Jared has a will of his own. Sam cannot be held responsible for Jared's choices.

I want to help him.

He seems hurt not to mention stressed out when he sees the doubt and questions in my eyes or my disappointment when he gives vague answers.

I don't understand him at all. Sometimes I feel as if I don't even know him. I mean if it bothers him so much then why doesn't he just talk to me, but he just won't let me in, he always shies away from my questions, dismisses them, changes the subject.

I love him!

Every day I fall more in love with Jared. I didn't think it was possible, I thought I was already so in love with him, but maybe there won't be an end to how deep my feeling for Jared go.

It's like being in free fall. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.

It hurt.

It hurt when I thought about the fact that he didn't trust me, that he wouldn't talk to me. It was like a wall between us, and it was getting wider as the days passed.

I was pulling away from him and I could feel it. The knowledge that he was keeping such a big part of himself from me made me edgy, it made me want to shut him out, distance myself. Even though the thought of doing so made me physically ache.

I was going to talk to him. This weekend.

I was going to talk to him yesterday, at least tell him that I wanted , that we _**needed**_ to talk.

Before I could even form a coherent thought that would allow me to form the words to make my demand, he asked me a question that caught me so off guard, that I blurted out a "Sure" before I even allowed myself to think it through properly.

When Jared had asked me, he had kind of….blurted it out. He looked nervous, as if he was afraid, no terrified would be a better word, of what my response would be.

He had looked so vulnerable.

Which unfortunately had led to me shrugging and saying "sure" before I thought it through, desperate to reassure him that it was no big deal.

_No big deal? Yeah, right!_

Emily had invited us to dinner

First of all I was really nervous about meeting this "Emily" chick.

With all the talk, rumors, and gossip surrounding Sam, I had heard surprisingly little about this "Emily".

Whenever Jared mentioned her it seemed like he admired her, and even cared for her. He seemed protective of her. It would have made me uneasy and maybe a little bit jealous but I could tell that it wasn't a romantic affection or attachment.

Not that he talked about her often. He didn't talk about any of them often. Paul or Sam, but when he did it seemed like they were close, like they were important and I knew it would matter a lot to him what I thought about them.

It was the chocolate cake all over again. It made absolutely no sense.

It shouldn't have mattered what my opinion of them was going to be, I could always fake it if I loathed them. I was a good actress, but the problem was that Jared was so good at reading me. It was hard to hide my true feelings from him and I didn't even want to try.

Not with Jared.

I liked the way things were. How I could be myself with him, I really didn't want that to change.

It made no sense , his friendship with these people. A few months ago they had been insignificant to him and now they seemed closer to him than anyone. Even me.

I winced at the thought, I didn't want to think it but I couldn't deny the truth of it.

I was even more nervous about meeting Sam. I had met him before of course.

_Well….sort of._

More like standing around and he walked up and started talking with someone kind of thing.

I had seen him last Sunday.

I had gone to the grocery store with my mom, well dragged was actually more accurate. She had wanted someone to keep her company, more like someone to listen to the latest gossip she had heard. Something I had been trying to avoid like the plague since lately it had been Mrs. so and so saw Sam's gang blah blah blah.

Sam had been there.

My mom had sent me over to aisle six to grab a jar of spaghetti sauce.

I had walked, more like shuffled down the aisle grabbing the jar and praying that it was the right one. I had just grabbed the jar when Sam turned down the aisle. I mean you couldn't really miss him and out of the corner of my eye he had looked a lot like Jared. My heart had doubled its rhythm, excited by the prospect of seeing Jared.

He was so much like Jared. Until you really looked at him, their faces were nothing alike. He was good looking but he didn't look like Jared.

It had kind of freaked me out. He moved like Jared , was built like Jared, was the same height as Jared.

He looked up, probably noticed me staring at him like a complete idiot, mouth open and everything.

_I swear I couldn't be inconspicuous if my life depended on it._

He had given me a small smile and nodded.

I barley smiled back at him before turning and walking quickly back the way I came.

I felt bad about that, it was rude and he was trying to be nice.

It was just that I was a bit….stunned by his likeness to _my_ Jared. Especially when I wasn't sure I liked him and I definitely didn't trust him.

I wondered if he had mentioned seeing me to Jared. Maybe that was the reason Emily had invited me to dinner. The timing seemed iffy to me and to coincidental.

The more I thought about going to dinner at Emily's the more questions I had. I kept them to myself.

_Only fifteen minutes._

As worrisome as Jared's behavior is, my own problems of late are a lot more troubling and are the sole reason I have not cornered Jared and demanded answers, well that and I really don't want to.

I know it's cowardly, and I freely admit that, but I am seriously terrified of what I might hear.

I need to though. Our relationship can't continue tilting on the edge as it were.

_Ten minutes. I can do this._

I will make it through this dinner.

_Hopefully without having one of my episodes. My episodes. If that was what you wanted to call them! More like a slight lapse in mental clarity._

The dream I had after my first make out session with Jared might have been the first of its kind, but it certainly was not the last.

They had started out occurring every few days, but they'd become much more frequent in the last two weeks.

Not only that but I was starting to remember them better, every little detail. Probably due to the fact that they were becoming so much more vibrant and real. Intense even.

Lately they felt so real that when I woke up I was disoriented, confused as to why I had just been in the forest, at the beach, or in some strange house and was all of a sudden in my bed.

Sometimes I would wake up and I would swear I could still hear Jared's voice or smell the forest.

Sometimes they were simple and made sense. Like kissing Jared or just sitting at the table talking to my mom. Other times they were a bit scary if not downright disturbing. I had always had odd dreams but this was different.

Luckily I had not had the killing Jared dream any more but the other Kim had made an appearance several times.

Sometimes Jared was there in the background looking worried, sometimes Sam and Paul were with him. Even my mom had made an appearance, she had looked just as odd as I had. Different somehow.

Other times it was like watching a movie that was going to fast or to slow, disjointed and mixed up. No synchronization to it.

The images and voices flew by. Sometimes I recognized people but they said things that made no sense and came in and out like I was getting bad reception.

As bad as my dreams had gotten they were not the worst of it. My body and mind were doing odd things.

Sometimes my mind seemed to slow things down.

Sometimes I would dream while I was awake. I could be sitting on my bed doing my homework and all of a sudden I would start dreaming. Images flying by too fast to make sense, voices jumbled, words not in the correct order. I would wake up, only I would still be sitting up not having fallen over, sweating, my heart racing.

Needless to say I had not been sleeping well.

I thought it would get better, that maybe this was just a phase caused by stress or something, but it was only getting worse.

I was seriously worried .

This had been the week from hell.

I've had strange dreams every night and I'm starting to hallucinate, well that's what I'm chalking it up to.

************************************************************************************

_I stood in the kitchen helping my mom unpack groceries. Out the corner of my eye I saw her knock a jar of pickles off the counter._

_Everything slowed down. I saw the jar falling and I reached out at what felt like a normal speed grabbing it before it hit the floor._

_It was like someone hit a button and everything went back to normal the minute my hand made contact with the jar._

_I looked up at my mom. She stood facing me her face blank, expressionless. She reached out for the jar_

_She nodded once at me. "Nice reflexes." She said taking the jar from me. Her tone was odd, I didn't recognize it. It was almost void of any emotion, almost, there was something in the undertone of her voice that I didn't quite understand . _

_She looked at me for a moment before turning back slowly with an odd grace that I didn't recognize and continued putting away the groceries as if nothing had happened._

_*************************************************************************************_

I don't understand a lot of things lately.

I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. Like I am dreaming even when I'm awake.

_Maybe I have brain tumor or something. Yeah, brain tumors could cause hallucinations and stuff. Right?]_

I really hope that it is a brain tumor or something, especially after yesterday.

Yesterday things had taken on a whole new level of weird.

I was sitting on my bed doing my homework minding my own business.

I had finished my English and decided to do my Trig homework next when I realized that I had left my calculator all the way across the room on my bookshelf. I had sat there surrounded by all my books and papers wishing it would just make its way over to my hand by itself so I wouldn't have to move when it had flown at my head.

By itself.

I shit you not.

I moved just in time to avoid being impaled in the face with it. It slammed into the wall with enough force that it shattered.

I dove off the bed and across the room putting my back to the wall scared out of my mind.

Wanting Jared.

I slid down the wall crying staring at my shattered calculator. That was the last straw. I didn't want to lose my mind at such a young age, but obviously I was.

Something was wrong with me.

I was losing it. What it was, I wasn't sure, but I felt like I was falling into something that didn't really exist. Something dark and confusing.

I couldn't pull myself out even though it was a slow descent.

Jared existed. He was real and warm. He made everything stop spinning. When I was away from him I felt like I was dreaming, nothing felt real.

_Was I imaging Jared? What if I was schizophrenic and Jared, Paul, Sam, and Emily didn't even exist?_

I had quickly ruled that out.

I would give it one more week. If things didn't go back to normal by then I would talk to someone.

One thing at a time.

I of course had not told Jared about any of this. I just couldn't. He loved me but asking him to love me even though I might be insane was a bit much. I mean I was already a little weird but there was a big difference between weird and just plain crazy.

I finished doing my hair and glanced at the clock. Four minutes.

I grabbed my purse and headed down the stairs.

I had just walked into the living room when I heard a knock on the door. My heart rate doubled.

I took a deep breath and headed for the door.

As usual, the moment I saw Jared…..it was like coming home. All nerves gone. No worries.

He had no idea how much I needed him right now.

He smiled down at me. He looked amazing…..as usual.

I threw myself into his arms. He lifted me up kissing me and squeezing me hard.

_Everything's going to be fine……do not cry!_

He laughed and set me down.

"I missed you too." He said laughing "Even though it has only been….three hours."

I reached up, he bent down automatically knowing what I wanted. I wrapped one arm around his neck and kissed his cheek.

He wrapped his arms around me and turned his head kissing me softly on my lips. He stepped back and touched my face. I sighed.

I don't know exactly what it is about Jared. I mean I can name over a hundred things, but there was just something about him, something I just couldn't put my finger on. It was like energy emanated from him, like we were connected by something I couldn't see. I had only noticed it last week, but now I was always aware of this "vibration" he was giving off whenever he got near me.

"Ready?" Jared said breaking into my thoughts.

I nodded not trusting myself to speak. This was going to take some of my best work.

His smile faltered ever so slightly. He studied me for a moment before scooping me up into a bone jarring hug too fast for me to comprehend what was happening, kissing me deeply, and taking my breath away

After a few minutes he set me back on my feet then smiled and grabbed my hand kissing it and leading me out the door, still stunned.

_Damn he was good!_

The drive to Emily's was a silent one, Jared seemed to sense that I wasn't in the mood to talk.

As we pulled up to Emily's my heart rate sped up. I bit my lip and rubbed my thumb against my forefinger. Something I only did when I was extremely nervous. Only this time I felt something like energy pulse in-between my fingers. I stared down at them as the feeling ebbed.

I noticed Jared staring at me, I looked over at him. He smiled at me and took my hand in his brushing his lips against it.

"Don't be so nervous. They're going to love you.""

I looked at him.

_Love me?_

I managed a smile. He bent over, leaving a scorching kiss on my cheek. My thoughts moved to Jared's bedroom.

_Focus Kim, now is really not the time!_

He let go of my hand getting out and coming around to open my door.

As we headed for the house, I walked slightly behind Jared holding on to his hand trying to relax. It was easy with Jared so close, holding my hand. I would just focus on him. I could do this

Even though I wasn't sure I would like them, I really wanted them to like me. For Jared's sake if for no other reason.

The house was a bit out of the way, down a long dirt road. Surrounded by nature. It was a small two story house. It was nice, with a small wooden porch surrounded by flowers.

We made our way up the porch, Jared reached for the door, I expected him to knock but instead he just reached for the handle opening the door and walking in like he owned the place.

We walked into a narrow hallway painted a deep and warm red, with dark wooden floors and a worn and antique looking sideboard decorated with a vase of flowers and light brown candles. I felt at ease, it was warm and inviting.

Jared made his way down the hall and turned right leading me through a small archway that was made of a dark wood that matched the floors.

One thing was obvious, he was comfortable here. In fact he seemed more comfortable here than in his own home.

As we walked in I glanced around. It was nice and warm the same as the hallway, except this room was done in a purple that was both light and somewhat dark and warm at the same time, contrasting nicely with the dark wood floors.

Two men turned as we walked in. I tensed and then made myself relax paying close attention to my breathing.

Jared squeezed my hand.

_Why must he notice everything? Seriously!_

Paul sat on the couch looking completely at ease, one arm stretched along the back. He smirked at me as we walked in.

Sam stood in front of him slightly off to the left. His arms folded , his body turned slightly toward us as we walked in.

Sam dropped his arms and turned smiling at us. Jared pulled me forward moving us closer to Sam.

"Sam this is Kim. Kim, Sam." Jared said letting go of my hand and putting his arm around my waist. It struck me as odd that I wasn't going through this ordeal with his mom and Phil first.

Sam stretched out his hand and nodded.

I shook his hand. His very large hand.

"Nice to finally meet you." He said

I nodded "You too." He smiled again releasing my hand.

Jared's tone changed. "And you know Paul." He said flinging his hand slightly in Paul's direction as if he was unimportant. Paul frowned curling his lip.

I glanced up at Jared, but he was smiling. I couldn't help but smile slightly as I turned back to look at Paul, but Sam's expression caught my attention.

He gave Jared a warning look and I felt Jared shrug against me.

_Great, one more thing I don't understand. _

Sam turned around looking behind him as if he heard something. He moved heading for the doorway behind him. A few seconds before he reached it a woman appeared stepping through the archway.

This must be "Emily".

I prepared myself. I mean the woman had been mauled by a bear after all.

She was not what I expected.

Her scars where not as bad as I thought they would be.

They only affected one side of her face. Three reddish lines pulling down the corner of her eye and mouth on the right side of her face.

The other side however was beautiful. She had small sharp features. A slight and long nose that turned up slightly. Perfect lips, like a doll's full and small, perfectly shaped almond eyes that were large and light brown, lighter than mine. She was dressed casually, wearing light jeans and a thin cream V-neck sweater that looked great against the tone of her skin. Her cheek bones were sharp leading down to her narrow chin. I couldn't deny it, she had amazing bone structure. Her hair was jet black, darker than mine and layered reaching just below her shoulders.

She was beautiful like Leah but in a completely different way. Leah had a fierce beauty the kind you saw on the cover of magazines like Maxim and she had a figure to match. Emily's beauty was sweet and soft like her curves, the kind of woman you saw in an art photo and marveled at. The kind of woman you never imagined yelling and expected to speak in soft, hushed, and soothing tones.

She was slightly shorter than me and petite. A fact made even more obvious standing next to Sam. She had a warm smile that instantly made me feel welcome.

I realized her looks were deceiving the moment she spoke.

"Hello," she said. Her voice was deep yet soft, smooth as silk. I envied her, she certainly didn't sound as soft and timid as she looked.

I smiled back at her

"Hi." I said

She smiled at me as Sam pulled her close almost protectively against him. I glanced up at Sam but he wasn't looking at me. He had eyes only for the girl he was holding.

He looked at her like…..like Jared looked at me.

_Odd. Had Sam been giving lessons or something?_

"You must be Kim." Emily said pulling my attention back to her.

I nodded. 'And you must be Emily."

She nodded. "It's nice to meet you, Jared's told us so much about you." She smiled glancing at Jared and giving him a smug smile.

I cringed slightly. Jared gave my waist a slight squeeze, reassuring me.

I looked up at him glaring slightly.

_What had he told them about me?_

Jared looked down at me and smiled looking slightly embarrassed.

Emily laughed. "Don't worry it's all been good I promise. Well dinners ready, I hope you're hungry."

I nodded then glanced over at Paul who was already up and heading through the doorway for what I assumed was the dining room.

Emily turned around glancing at him as he disappeared then rolled her eyes sighing. Sam smiled down at her and grabbed her hand pulling her behind him.

Jared squeezed me gently, bending down to kiss me on the forehead. I smiled up at him before he took my hand leading me to the dining room.

Dinner was an odd and strange affair.

Strange because……well I actually enjoyed myself.

I really liked Emily, she was sweet and friendly and quite the chatterbox, which I loved because I was nervous and it made me feel more at ease when there were no awkward silences and I didn't have to struggle to make conversation.

My absolute favorite thing about her was the fact that she knew how to keep people in line. Even if those people were three huge men who could easily punt her across the room if they so desired.

It was funny actually.

Emily had set the basket of rolls on the table in front of me. Paul had reached out for the basket, he looked up and froze. I followed his gaze looking at Emily. She held a blank expression on her face and narrowed her eyes slightly. I moved my gaze back to Paul in time to see him swallow and move his hand away from the basket. Emily picked up the basket and held it in front of me.

"Bread Kim?"

I took a roll trying not to laugh. "Thanks." I said

Sam…surprised me. He was nothing like I expected. He was quiet and soft spoken and serious, yet his voice was deep and strong. He had a very commanding and intimidating presence.

Even more shocking was the way he acted towards Emily, he sat next to her his arm across the back of her chair the entire time. He softened visibly when he was around her and when she made him smile his whole face lit up, changing the persona he gave off completely.

His eyes followed her every movement, if he wasn't talking to Jared, Paul or me his eyes were on Emily. If she was talking he was focused on her every word. I would bet anything if you asked him what she had said in the last five minutes he could say it back to you word for word.

Watching him made me recall something Hanna had said about the way Jared looked at me, how it was kind of weird but sweet. I wondered, watching Sam, if Jared looked at me like that when I wasn't paying attention.

I glanced over at him as Emily and I were talking and sure enough his eyes were locked on me, as if I were revealing the meaning of life or something. It wasn't the way Jared looked at me or acted toward me that made me uneasy, I loved the way he treated me. It was the fact that Sam looked and treated Emily in a similar manner.

What was odd about the evening was the way Jared, Paul, and Sam interacted with one another.

I had never seen Jared, especially in the last few months act like this with people.

So laid back, so relaxed. They acted more like brothers then friends. Laughing and joking with one another.

I couldn't imagine that Emily would be ok with Sam being involved in something illegal or that she would let him drag Jared and Paul into it when she seemed so fond of them. She didn't seem the type.

There was obviously something going on. This whole thing, Jared's relationship with me, his change in appearance and behavior, changing his entire circle of friends, it made no sense. It all seemed innocent, but there was something _off_ about it.

I felt like I was missing some crucial piece, the last piece of the puzzle that would make this picture comprehensible and Jared held it, but he wasn't giving it to me.

Emily was an amazing cook, well she had to be considering how much Jared, Paul, and Sam seemed to eat. It was no wonder he spent so much time over here.

That was another thing. At school and at his house, Jared never ate like this or I should say this much. I had no idea he could eat so much or where he put it for that matter.

I enjoyed myself but the evening only added…oh I don't know maybe a hundred or so more questions to the thousand or so that were already driving me to distraction.

Emily invited me to come back sometime and I agreed waving goodbye to her and Sam.

Once in the car Jared kept shooting me looks. Trying to read me.

I sighed and looked over at him smiling. "What?" I said

He laughed.

"Did you….have fun?" He asked

I studied him for a moment. He seemed anxious.

I opened my mouth to tell him what a great time I'd had but I switched my reply to a question of my own at the last second before I could chicken out. "Why is it so important to you."

He turned sharply looking over at me, probably shocked by my reply and my tone.

He shrugged. "I was just wondering." He said perfecting a calm and uninterested tone.

_He wasn't fooling me. Not for one second!_

"Love those definitive answers." I said. My tone surprised me and I could tell by the look Jared gave me that he was surprised as well.

I was never snide with him, but I was getting sick of his bullshit. Of him always brushing me off. It wasn't fair, not when I told him everything, well almost everything.

He stopped in front of my house.

"Kim.." he said

"Don't." I said running my hand through my hair. I looked over at him. He was looking straight ahead. I waited until his eyes met mine.

I looked at him and shook my head rolling my eyes. "I-am-so-sick-of-your-bullshit." I said slowly enunciating each word, making sure he heard me.

His eyes widened slightly at my tone. He was quiet for a minute, he sighed his shoulders slumping slightly.

"I know." He said. He shook his head.

"I…..I'm just."

"Don't bother Jared." I said my voice quiet and restrained, I reached for the door handle.

"WAIT!!." He reached out and grabbed my arm. "I can explain, I.."

"**Jared**!!! I said don't bother!" I was hurt and my hurt was making it easy to stay angry with him despite the pained and desperate look on his face.

His eyes widened and a look of pure panic came across his face as his breathing increased, hitching slightly.

"K…Kim" he sounded as if he couldn't quite catch his breath.

I reached for the handle as he practically shouted at me. "Wait!!.....please." he grabbed my arms forcing me to look at him, pulling me closer.

"I'm…I am…sorry. Ok?"

"Jared.."

"Just wait ok…please!" he sounded so desperate , I felt my heart give a slightly painful tug making my chest feel too tight and my eyes sting.

I wanted to kiss him, throw myself into his arms and tell him that everything was fine, anything to get that look off of his face, it was killing me but I resisted the urge.

"Look," I said. "I'm just really tired ok? I don't want to talk about this tonight. It's late and I'm sorry I brought it up. How about….let just talk about this tomorrow."

He relaxed giving an audible sigh. The entire time I had talked he had looked like he was in pain.

I shook my head smiling at him.

Again it made no sense, why keep something from me and not trust me when he acted like I meant the world to him, like upsetting me caused him physical pain?

It made no sense.

"How about one o'clock? My house" he said

I nodded

He smiled and reached for me, then hesitated, pulling back. He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He said his voice low and a bit sad.

I only nodded and his shoulders seemed to slump even lower.

I knew what he was thinking, that even though we had agreed to talk I was still mad at him, that I didn't want him to touch me. Nothing could be further from the truth.

He looked at me. I could tell that he wanted to touch me, but he thought I wouldn't let him.

_Silly Jared._

I smiled and rolled my eyes then threw myself across the seat and into his arms kissing him.

He pulled me the rest of the way across the seat moaning against my lips and pressing me against him.

After kissing Jared goodnight,

_Ok, ok so it was more like a thirty minute face-sucking-dry-humping-make-out-session. What can I say his ass is hot._

I made my way up to the door unlocking it and closing it silently behind me.

I glanced at my phone it was just after eleven.

The lamp was on in the living room as usual. My parents always left it on when I wasn't home before they went to bed. I headed into the living room to turn it off before making my way upstairs.

I sighed in contentment, Jared and I are going to talk tomorrow, everything is going to be fine.

_I hope_

The lamp may have been on as usual but what was not usual was the person sitting beside it.

I stopped when I saw her.

"Mom?" I said unsure of what else to say.

_Had she looked out the window when she heard the car pull up? Did she see me with Jared. ON JARED!!??_

She stood up not saying anything, walking closer to me.

She looked…well intimidating. Which I was not use to. I felt the need to step back but I held my ground not wanting to seem guilty.

"How are you feeling?" she said

_Well that was an odd question._

I looked at her confused. "Ummm, fine." I said although it sounded more like a question.

She turned around and walked back over to the side table picking up a baseball that was sitting there.

_That was odd. _

_I didn't even know we owned a baseball._

She turned around facing me throwing the ball up and catching it in her hand.

She was acting strangely, it almost seemed like…like she was someone else.

"I've packed you a bag, its upstairs on your bed. You need to check it to make sure I didn't forget anything." She said

"What?" I said in a small voice. Was she kicking me out for seeing Jared behind her and dad's back?

"It's only for a few days. We'll be back on Monday." She said

"And where exactly are we going?"

"To visit someone. I'll explain on the way." She said." Now go grab your bag so we can leave."

"We're leaving tonight!." I couldn't believe this was happening. "Does dad know?"

She sighed then her eyes narrowed slightly as if she was focusing on something extremely hard.

I can't really explain what happened next.

My mother held up her hand, the baseball resting in her palm, the next thing I knew it was flying at my face.

It happened again, everything slowed and I reached up at what seemed to be a normal speed and caught the ball, an inch away from hitting me in the face. It stung my hand.

I looked at my mother shocked.

"What the hell was that!" I screamed.

She nodded. Then looked at me. "Do you really want to know?" she said in a soft voice.

I was still for a moment then nodded.

She nodded

"Go get your bag, I'll be in the car." She said

I turned around to watch her leave then stood there for a minute thinking. My head was spinning. Oddly enough, I felt calmer. My mind excepting. I decided not to over think it or even try an think it through, it only made me feel panicky anyways and it never solved anything. I would just except it, go with it. See where it would take me.

The next thing I knew I was sitting in the passenger seat as my mom sped down the highway and away from Lapush.

Away from Jared.

**AN:/ It's finally done and it's my longest chapter ever twenty-eight pages. Please Review! I really want to know what you think about the twist this story has taken. That goes for all of you haven't reviewed yet. What did you think of the lemon ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:/I'm SO SORRY! I have ten different excuses for why this took so long....none of which I will bore you with, Anyhoo I have more great recommendations for you. The first one is called "****A Fun and Easy Way to go Down a Dress Size", it's basically the "sex talk" all the imprinted girls had to go through its pretty funny. There is also a companion piece that goes with it that covers the first time for all the imprints and their wolves called "****Complete Bliss" they're pretty steamy gotta tell ya actually all of ya. Another good one is "****Bada Bing, Bada Boom!" this one had me bent over laughing, it's a Paul and Rachel Imprint story but it has a really different take on their whole situation. As usual these stories can be found under my favs. Flashbacks bordered in stars and italicized as usual. Jared's POV will be in here, we haven't heard from him in a while so I thought it was necessary. Last but not least,**

**Thanxs to,**

**Helewisetran, suzeq, Tooldforthis, lilyblack, allyleigh, BlackLuna,**

**AngelicMelly, Midnightsun, laurazuleta, BabyBooAngel, overthedeepend, and **

**KitsuneMikoTenshi (who seriously has the longest name ever, but also gave a great review and made me want to get my butt in gear and write this next chapter)**

**For Reviewing.**

**Special thanks to Erin, for editing my story and giving great advice.**

**Eizzel - (E-Zel)**

**Kallista (Cal-list-a)**

**Anina - (A-knee-na)**

**Ellmia - (L-li-me-a)**

**Sidonie - (Sid-o-knee)**

**Chapter 6**

The bright sun woke me.

For a minute I was confused and more than a little disoriented.

The first thing I saw was space.

Open space whizzing by with few trees dappling the bright and sparse landscape. Cars flying by on the busy expressway.

_Definitely not LaPush, or anywhere near it for that matter._

I straightened up, stretching my sore muscles and glanced over at my mother who sat driving, staring straight ahead. I didn't know what to say or where to even begin. Where do you begin when your mom whisks you away in the middle of the night with no explanation as to where you're going?

She sighed.

"Finally awake I see." She said. I nodded

"Where are we going?" I asked glancing at the clock on the dashboard. I did a double take. Ten twenty-three. We'd been driving for almost ten hours.

I'd only been awake for the first two.

My mother's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Ceylon.". I looked at her as if she'd just spoken Japanese.

I blinked several times. "Ceylon?" I said. Ceylon? Ok I was slightly worried. Ceylon sounded mythical, I had never even heard of such a place.

She nodded. "Ceylon is a village in the province of Saskatchewan."

Again my mouth bobbed up and down like a fish out of water. If she was trying to make me feel stupid, it was working.

"Saska....What?!" She laughed.

"Saskatchewan, it's on the very outskirts of Canada."

"Oh." I said. To be honest I didn't know what else to say, but the whole Canada thing definitely explains why I've never even heard of such a place.

"So...this whole Ceylon place. Why exactly are we going there?" I said a bit anxious.

My mother took a deep breath, then glanced over at me before turning her attention back to the road.

"Now Kallista...." I glared at her. I hated when she used my full name. It was so stupid and just plain odd. I hated it, which was why at the age of six I started demanding to be called Kim and threw the biggest of fits when she daned to use it in public.

_I honestly don't know what she was thinking. I know one thing if I ever have a daughter I will not, repeat not give her a horrendous name. I HATE MY NAME!!_

"When I tell you....what I'm about to tell you, you are not, I repeat not allowed to ask any more questions."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because after I tell you this, I know you're going to have a hundred or so more questions and it will all be explained in due time."

"Fine." I said rolling my eyes.

"We're going to see your aunts."

"WHAT??!!" I felt my breathing coming in and out rapidly.

_I honestly think I'm in the middle of a full blown panic attack here!_

I didn't know what to think, but I knew how I felt. So many emotions. I felt hurt and betrayed, deceived. Who was this woman?

"What do you mean aunts?! You always told me you were an only child? Does Dad know? Do they know I even exist? How could you keep this from me? Are you even my real mother or is that a lie too?!!"

Her eyes darted in my direction and then back again almost too quickly for me to follow.

"Oh My God! Are you not my mother?" I said close to tears. She rolled her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous Kim of course I'm your mother!"

"Ha," I said in an indignant and sarcastic tone. I threw my hands up then let them drop into my lap. "Well how am I supposed to know, you've lied about something so important. Who's to say what else you might have lied about. What the hell mom?" I said putting emphasis on the word "mom." I huffed leaning back into my seat and folding my arms.

I shook my head. "I can't believe you."

"Don't be so melodramatic." She said sounding bored and exasperated at the same time.

"What, am I supposed to be when..."

"If you can't discuss this calmly and reasonably then we're not going to discuss it at all." She said in a low voice.

I started at her. Calmly and reasonably? Fine, but I really didn't think I was overreacting considering that I had family that I didn't know existed until this moment.

She looked over at me. I looked back at her widening my eyes and shaking my head slightly. 'Well?" I said."Aunts?"

"Yes. You have three aunts and one great aunt."

"And your parents?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"I never knew my father and my..."

"What?! Then who the hell is that in the photo on our mantle?!" I let out a strangled and breathless laugh. It sounded as if I was close to panicking, well ok I was, my world was reeling, all the carefully laid pieces falling apart.

"Kim, please don't shout. We are in a confined space look, let me give you a piece of advice. Everything you hear this weekend? Just accept it. Don't try to analyze or pick it apart or even understand. Understanding will come later. For now just....accept it. It will be easier that way, trust me. Everything is going to change from this point on. All your perceptions and.... Ok?"

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"It will be for the better, you'll see." She reached over and squeezed my leg, giving me a small smile. "And the man in the picture? I have no idea."

'And....my grandmother."

"She died right after you were born."

"Does dad know about all this....stuff I'm going to find out."

She shook her head.

I felt very sad at that moment.

Sad for both of them, my mother and my dad. Did they even know each other? Did my dad even know who she really was. Sitting in this car she was such a different person, her posture, her voice...different. I had mixed feelings about this new...or maybe I should say real side of my mother. I liked her better in many ways. So strong and sure and impressive, but on the other hand I had been lied to and deceived. I decided I would take her advice. I would think about all that I was learning and would learn later, for now I would just accept it. She was so different..like...like Jared when he first came back.

_JARED!_

I almost said his name out loud and then stifled it realizing that she had no idea about our relationship ....or did she? I looked over at her. She looked back at me and then turned back to the road.

"You'd better call him." she said. I tried to analyze her voice. She didn't sound angry, but who was I to judge the mood of a woman I apparently knew so little about.

"How long have you known?" I asked, staring at her.

"Since before it happened."

"How..."

"Soon." She said. "Not now. You'll know everything, no more secrets. Just be patient."

I sat there staring at her for a few minutes before I reached into the back and grabbed my purse. I pulled out my phone. I made it through dialing the first four digits before a thought hit me. What was I going to say to him? What excuse could I give. I didn't want to lie, I couldn't lie, not to Jared.

"Tell him you have a family emergency. Your aunt broke her leg and I'm dragging you along to go see her in Oklahoma."

I was shaking my head no before she'd even finished. She looked over giving me an exasperated look.

"Kim," she started.

"No! I don't want to lie to him. I won't! I...."

"You think he doesn't lie to you?" she asked drawing out the word "lie."

She knew something. I felt my throat tighten.

_Jared. I missed him already._

She sighed, "Fine. You can tell him you're going to visit your aunt."

I dialed the number. It rang and rang. Finally on the sixth ring he picked up sounding exhausted and none too pleased.

_Jared._

**JPOV**

I woke up to a very loud and obnoxious ringing. I growled rolling over to check the time, just after eleven. Only three hours of sleep.

_Whoever dared to disturb my sleep is about to seriously get chewed the fuck out!_

I snatched my cell phone off the bedside table, struggling not to crush it in my bare hands.

I slid it open not bothering to look at the caller I.D., I didn't give two shits who it was.

"What!" I growled.

Silence.

"HELLO?!" I said a bit louder.

"H-Hi," a small voice said on the other end.

The moment I heard her voice all my anger disappeared, of course. I grinned like the imbecile I am for almost a full minute before I realized I hadn't said anything.

"Kim?!" she laughed. My eyes slid closed savoring the best sound in the world.

"Hey, sorry I woke you up."

"It's ok, I don't mind," I said slowly. Her voice sounded off, slightly sad.

"What's the matter?" I said sitting up, too fast, all the blood rushed to my head.

Her breathe caught. "I..." she hesitated. "Nothing's wrong, I mean not really. It's just that I won't be able to make it today."

"Oh." I said

'I...I'm not in LaPush. I had to leave with my mom this morning to go visit my aunt."

"Ok...," I said waiting for the rest. She'd told me she couldn't make it. I figured that was the problem, but she still sounded....off. Something else was wrong.

"Ok." She said sounding even more worried.

I sighed. "What else is wrong Kim?" I waited but she didn't say anything. "Kim?" I hated it when she kept stuff from me. "Kim, you know you can tell me anything." I said

She let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah," She said slowly. "I just...really really really wish you were here. I miss you. I know that's stupid I just saw you like..."

"It's not stupid. I miss you too," I said. "When will you be back?"

"Not until Monday evening." She said sounding very put out. I smiled, a bit torn, on the one hand I loved the fact that she missed me so much but I hated that it made her sad.

"I'm really sorry." She said

"I'm not mad. I'll miss you. Call me when you get back?"

"Of course."

"I love you."

"I love you. I'll call you tonight. Bye."

"Bye."

I closed my phone, staring at it.

I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed that I wouldn't get to tell Kim the truth about myself. Not today at least.

It was cowardly to be relieved, but I couldn't help it.

I was so terrified of losing her.

The very thought of losing her, of telling her the truth about who or I should say what I am and her not wanting me made me sick to my stomach. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it. I have never been so scared in my life, not even the first time I phased. All these images and different scenarios kept running through my mind every time I thought about telling her. Kim belonging to someone else, marrying someone else, Kim living her life without me. Never touching her again.

Which is why I've put off telling her the truth for two weeks. Coward, she deserved better. She deserved to know what she was allowing to touch her.

From the moment I imprinted on Kim I thought I would never love anyone more. Never feel anything stronger.

I was wrong.

I loved her more. I loved her. So much that saying I love you didn't seem enough and no matter how much she told me it was still hard to believe that she could love me as much as I loved her. I've never been an insecure person, but Kim definitely brings it out in me.

It's hard to believe that she'll still want me after I tell her the truth..

Touching Kim was my heaven. Her smell, her taste, my own brand of ecstasy. Better than any drug.

After my first week with Kim I had come up with a plan.

One thing I learned and understood quickly about Kim was that she was completely logical. Probably the most logical girl I have ever met. She was always thinking, her mind always moving.

If I was going to tell her what I was and have even the slightest chance of her sticking around, she had to know me.

Loving me wouldn't be enough.

She had to know me and know that I wouldn't hurt her, that she could trust me.

I knew her.

After I told her she wouldn't run, not before she worked it out in that mind of hers.

She'd work backwards, going over my strange behavior. My disappearance from school, the cryptic things I said, finding the truth in my words and actions. She would be terrified of course when she realized that what I said was true, but she would think it through before she made her decision.

Before I told Kim the truth I wanted her to meet Sam, Paul, and Emily.

I'd put the final step of my plan off for nearly three weeks, until Sam had practically forced me to do it. I was stalling and he knew it, but I couldn't risk losing her.

I'd been so nervous.

I knew that Kim would be seeing things for the first time. Things that would be strange and that she wouldn't understand. Like how I acted with Sam and Paul and more importantly how Sam acted with Emily.

I swear sometimes that girl was too perceptive and smart for her own damn good.

I had watched her throughout the meal, analyzing my behavior. I watched her face as she studied the interactions between Sam and Emily, noticed the similarities between he and I. It made me anxious. It made me want to just grab her and leave. I didn't want her to see the truth but she needed to.

Sam was right. I hated it when he was. I was pushing her too far.

Sam's main worry was that I would have sex with her before I told her the truth.

I wholeheartedly agreed, it would be wrong on so many different levels to sleep with her when she didn't know exactly who, or I should say what she was going to bed with, but I knew that wouldn't be a problem.

First of all, Kim again was logical; completely so. There was no way she was going to fuck me just because her hormones dictated it should be so. She wouldn't sleep with me until she was sure that she wanted to, that she wouldn't regret it.

The thought that she might regret me made me cringe.

I was pretty sure that Kim was a virgin.

She hadn't said anything, but she'd been so shy with me at first, and I highly doubted that someone who thought through everything would give it up to just anyone. I knew for a fact that Kim had never seriously dated anyone before.

I didn't know how I felt about her being a virgin. It was kind of a turn on but I was scared that I would hurt her. My height wasn't the only thing that had increased.

I wanted Kim so bad that I ached, but I didn't want her before she was sure. It was like being pulled in two very different directions. I was getting used to it though.

In the end I was glad that Sam had pushed me to invite Kim over for dinner.

I had almost waited too long.

Last night was the moment, the moment when I realized I'd almost pushed her too far.

*****************************************************************************************************************************

_I swallowed, trying to breathe normally. What was she thinking? Did she think we were freaks? Does she love me less now that she's seen more of the real me?_

_She sighed turning to smile at me. "What?" She said._

_Busted. _

_I laughed, "Did you....have fun?" I asked my voice controlled. I didn't want her to know how much her answer would matter to me, how desperate I was for her to say yes._

_She said nothing, staring at me. My anxiety went up a good ten notches. _

_"Why is it so important to you?" She said_

_My heart went into overdrive. My stomach tightened almost painfully pushing against my spine. I had never heard her use that tone before. It was low and cutting. Did I disgust her now? _

_It was a stupid thought, disgust, but lately that was my number one fear. _

_A thought that played over and over in my mind, tormenting me._

_I took a deep breath, trying desperately to keep my voice level. I didn't want her to hear the panic that was almost strangling me, making it hard to breathe._

_I shrugged, "I was just wondering." My head hurt._

_"Love those definitive answers," she said. She sounded disgusted with me, annoyed. I racked my brain, trying to decide which one of my actions had been too weird, too abnormal._

_I pulled into her driveway, my mind scrambling, trying to find the words that would fix this. It made me feel weak, but I was desperate._

_"Kim..." I said. I didn't know what my next words were going to be but I had to say something. _

_"Don't." She said running her hands through her hair in a fast and slightly jerky motion. She looked over at me waiting. I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. _

_I looked over at her._

_She stared back at me a moment before she shook her head rolling her eyes. _

_"I-am-so-sick-of-your-bullshit." She said it slowly and deliberately. Wanting me to hear and understand what she was saying. _

_I felt blind panic and rage._

_Rage at myself. _

_I hated myself. How could I have screwed this up? Or was it foolish to expect someone to love you under these conditions. Would Emily even be with Sam if it weren't for her scars? _

_I was losing her. _

_I trembled slightly, but it stopped when I thought about the fact that I was in a confined space with Kim. It would kill her if a shifted now._

_"I know." I said. "I.....I'm just." I shook my head. How could I explain? I couldn't, but I desperately wanted to._

_"Don't bother Jared," she said. Her voice had taken on a hushed and lifeless quality. She reached for the door handle._

_Without thinking I reached out and grabbed her arm. I would tell her the truth now. Screw caution and planning. "Wait I can explain, I...," I said pulling her to face me._

_"Jared!!! I said don't bother!" She practically screamed at me making me wince. It was worse than a physical gut punch._

_I had ruined everything and looking in her eyes I realized just how much I'd hurt her. The pain was confusing and sharp knocking the wind out of me._

_"K...Kim," I said. My mind scrambling, unable to find a mental foot hold. Only one thought kept repeating over and over in my head. _

_I cannot lose her._

_She turned and reached for the door handle again. _

_"Wait!!.....please." I winced at the volume of my voice, but I couldn't help it. I grabbed her arms forcing her to look at me. I almost hugged her, wanting so badly to be closer to her but I stopped myself. I measured my grip on her arms making sure, in my desperation that I wasn't squeezing too hard._

_"I'm...I am...sorry. Ok?" It was lame. It was so short of what she deserved, but the pain and panic made it hard for me to think clearly._

_"Jared...," she said sounding tired. She didn't want to hear it._

_I interrupted her. I couldn't bear to hear what I knew was coming._

_"Just wait ok...please!" I said. All I needed was one more chance. I could change her mind. I had to._

_"Look," she said. "I'm just really tired ok? I don't want to talk about this tonight. It's late and I'm sorry I brought it up. How about....let just talk about this tomorrow."_

_I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. The pain and weight on my chest eased._

_She smiled at me._

_The rest of the pain disappeared. That smile. I'd die happily if the choice was between living and never seeing it again or dying with it being the last thing I saw. It was a pretty extreme thought, but even more disturbing was that it was entirely true._

_"How about one o'clock? My house" I said. _

_She nodded._

_I reached for her without thinking and then hesitated realizing that it might not be okay for me to touch her. My insides jerked oddly, the wolf scratching at my insides, angry at the lack of contact. _

_I smiled at her, trying to reassure her that it was ok that she didn't want me to touch her that I understood._

_"I'll see you tomorrow then." I said, my stomach pressing against my spine making the ache worse._

_She just nodded, which was unusual for her. She always touched me. I needed her to touch me right now. That's what it felt like. I needed a good dose of something to make it better. Kim was what I needed._

_I looked up to find her smiling. Before I could ask why she launched herself across the small, but far too wide space between us and pressed herself against me, slipping her tongue in between my open lips._

_I moaned, wrapping my arms around her pulling her closer. I felt like I'd been drowning, my lungs begging for relief. _

_I opened my mouth slightly flicking my tongue across her full bottom lip. She opened her mouth flicking her tongue against mine. _

_She had never tasted so good._

***********************************************************************************************************************

I tried to keep my thoughts out of the past, but somehow they kept going back to that night and other nights like it.

I moaned, remembering the first time I had tasted her. My tongue darting in between her soft folds as she...

I clenched my eyes shut. I really didn't want to be turned on right now.

I rolled over unto my back.

Today would have been the day, the day I told Kim everything.

Then maybe she would have told me everything.

Something had been bothering her.

I knew she would tell me when she was ready. In the last week or so she'd seemed sad every time I saw her, weighed down.

The good thing was that every time she saw me the weight and worry disappeared. I was glad that I could be there for her. Just holding her seemed to make things better for her.

I looked at the clock. It was already after twelve. I'd been laying here for over an hour.

I sat up throwing my covers off. I headed for the shower. If I wasn't going to sleep I might as well get in some very much needed study time.

**KPOV**

I looked out the window watching the scenery fly by.

Something had been nagging at me since my mom first mentioned the fact that my "grandfather" didn't even really exist.

I looked over at her.

"Is Kathy your real name?" I asked.

My mom looked over at me then back at the road chuckling slightly. "Yes, but my mom always called me by my middle name. Meenal, my sisters always called me Mee."

"Why didn't you tell me that I had....this whole other family?"

"Well," she said. "I...I'll tell you later."

I pushed down my frustration. She would tell me later. I could be patient....if I tried.

"How much longer?"

My mom glanced at the clock. "About another hour or so. Do you need to stop?"

"No I'm fine." I said turning to look out the window as we exited the freeway.

We drove for almost an hour before my mom slowed the car. I looked around thinking we were stopping in the middle of nowhere.

Instead she turned unto a thin paved, two-lane road lined on either side by tall green trees, the sunlight filtering down. It was beautiful. It reminded me of Forks, except for here the sun was shining and the trees were extremely tall and thin, unlike the thick trees of Forks.

The road was steep, flowing up and down as we wound higher and higher up the mountain. I didn't realize we were going up a mountain until there was a break in the trees. I leaned against the window getting a better look over the side that steeped down to a beautiful valley covered in green, the mountain peaks off in the distance.

Beautiful.

We slowed again pulling down a dirt road this time we drove for several minutes before there was break in the trees.

The house was beautiful. Not large, not small. It was a two story home that looked like a cabin on the outside, surrounded by giant stone and pavement leading out to the woods that surrounded it.

My mom pulled up to a two car garage that matched the house. She killed the engine and stepped out of the car.

I followed suit, stopping to pull my bag out of the back seat. We headed for the huge porch that lined the front of the house.

I hesitated as I reached the steps. A girl stood on the porch. Smiling down at me.

I recognized her at once as one of my mom's sisters, even though I'd never met any of them before. She looked like my mother only younger, and if I was being honest, prettier.

Her hair was extremely long, reaching to her waist. Her features mirrored mine but they were stronger, her nose prominent, her skin and hair darker. She was dressed...beautifully, was the only word I could think of, in a light green dress that reached just below her knees. The fabric was extremely light blowing in the breeze.

"Eizzel," my mother said snapping me out of my critique. "I didn't know you were going to be here this weekend."

"I'm not. I'm on my way out actually. I just wanted to meet Kali before I left." Eizzel said.

I looked over at my mom. "Kali?"

"Well," Eizzel said. "That's what I'm calling you for short. Kim's rather boring. Don't cha think?" she said smiling at me.

I did but I wasn't about to tell her that. I settled for an even stare.

"Kim," my mom said. "This is your cousin, Eizzel."

I felt a fresh wave of anger.

_Great more family that I had no idea existed._

I nodded giving her a slight smile.

Eizzel turned as the screen door opened. A woman came behind her handing her a black duffel bag.

"All set." She said. Eizzel nodded.

I caught the woman's eyes. She blinked looking down at me, then smiled coming down the stairs and embracing me. She was dressed similar to Eizzel, her clothes light and flowing except she wore pants and her clothes were light beige and white. Her hair fell just below her shoulders. She looked a bit like Eizzel. This must be my aunt.

"Welcome Kallista. It's nice to finally meet you." I tried not to wince at the use of my full name. She held me at arm's length examining me, making me feel even more awkward. She released me taking a step back.

"I'm your aunt, Anina."

"Nice to meet you," I said. Her voice reminded me of my mother's only slightly higher.

She nodded turning to her daughter. "I'll see you Monday."

She turned to me, wrapping her arm around me and leading me up the stairs and into the house.

The entry way opened up right into a large living room with large open windows and wooden floors. The living room was decorated in nice warm colors like most cabins, only nicer. Everything was wood except for the huge stone fireplace that took up nearly the entire wall to my right.

"Leave your bag here." Anina said. I did as I was told, glancing over at my mom. Who hadn't said a word since she'd introduced me to Eizzel, which was a long time...for her.

Anina motioned for me to follow her. "They're waiting in the kitchen." She said smiling at me.

We turned to the left walking down a long and narrow wooden hallway, the only light coming from a single narrow window at the end of the hallway. Before we reached the end we turned left again through two huge double wooden doors. We entered into a large and open kitchen with huge windows, much like the living room. It was all dark wood, yet it still remained bright and warm probably due to the large yellow hued stones that covered the floor.

I liked it. It was warm and had a dreamy feel to it.

I looked around taking it all in.

To my left stood a large square table that matched the rest of the wood in the kitchen.

The table was long and beautiful, it looked antique, but what caught my attention were the two women sitting at the table, leaning toward each other, talking quietly.

They broke apart when they saw us, smiling.

Anina pulled out a chair for me taking the seat to my right, my mom on my left.

The one on the right spoke. "I'm Lona and this is Sidonie."

"You can call me Sid," Sidonie said. "It's so nice to finally see you in person." She stood up coming around the table and hugging me.

For some reason I instantly felt at ease with her. I smiled up at her. "So you like to be called Kim uh?" she said frowning down at me.

I looked around the table, they all smiled at me.

"Uh, Yeah." I said.

Anina laughed. "Eizzel is trying to force the nickname Kali on her."

Lona rolled her eyes. "Eizzel and her nicknames." She said. "We'll call you whatever you want Kim."

"Kali is fine." I said shrugging my shoulders. They all had such odd and interesting names. Kim seemed too bland for this setting.

It was odd, I knew these "people" were related to me, but they were still strangers. I could feel myself begin to withdraw, something I hadn't done in a while. I missed Jared so much in that moment.

I had forgotten what it was like to be in a room surrounded by people and feel completely alone and almost invisible. Like my real self had decided to take a coffee break and only the shell was left to fend for itself. Somehow I felt, I _knew_, that if Jared was here it would make this all so much easier. I would be more present and not so disconnected.

Anina started to speak but before she could the glass doors behind us opened interrupting her.

A tall and imposing woman walked through the doors. She was older, her face worn but her body was that of someone half her age. She wore a long fitted blue dress. She was stunning with strong features her white hair pulled up into a unique and classic twist. She had some kind of steel thin rod woven through it. She smiled coming towards me.

The smile changed her face, softening it.

"Well," she said reaching out her arms. "Stand up. Let me have a look at you."

I stood, feeling intimidated, all eyes on me. I glanced around but their faces weren't judging they were open, smiling.

"I'm Ellmia, your great aunt. I never thought I would meet you, but I'm glad the circumstances have changed." She stepped away from me bringing her hands together, studying me. After a few minutes she let her hands fall. She laughed slightly. "I'm sure you have...a lot of questions, and rightly so, but not to worry you'll understand everything soon enough."

She took my hand leading me back the way she'd come. The doors led to a sunroom that looked over the backyard. It was nice, done in light wood, stretching along the back of the house. Looking out over, to be honest, the most beautifully kept backyard I have ever seen. A medium sized fountain dominated the middle of the yard, surrounded by stone paths, green bushes, and beautiful flowers.

She led us down the steps and into the garden to a set of lounge chairs, done in dark wicker and cushioned in dark blue fabric covered by a floorless and beautifully carved gazebo. I sat across from her while Anina and Lona took seats on either side of her. My mother and Sidonie sat on either side of me.

Ellmia looked over at me and laughed. "So where should I start?" she said. "Without scaring the shit out of you that is,"

My eyes widened a bit at her wording, I was going to like her.

"Well, how about....why I'm here. Why I've been having weird dreams and...and." I trailed off not sure what to say.

Ellmia nodded. "I'll start at the beginning. First of all I assume you've realized by now that something is different about you." I nodded hesitantly. "Good, well first of all I'll start with our history. It begins far before any of us existed. You know the Quileute legends." I nodded. "So I assume then you know about the third wife, or I should say the stories they tell about her."

"Yes." I said, a bit confused, it was an odd place to start.

"Good." Ellmia said nodding her head. "What you don't know is that she was not Quileute. Like the Quileute's, we the Makah have our own legends about protectors. Over four hundred years ago there was a chief of the Makah who married a woman from the Gwich'in tribe. They were a very small tribe but their history or "legends" if you will, reaches back almost a thousand years. Legends of protectors. Unlike the Quileute's, their legends speak of different kinds of protectors. Also unlike the Quileutes, it was usually the woman who inherited these gifts. The chief took the woman as his bride because he had heard of these gifts and he knew that she was from a long line of powerful protectors or as the Gwich'in's called them the Magena and her father only agreed to the marriage because they were a dying race and because his wife who was a Oota Dabun Magena, an intuitive protector knew that it would strengthen their bloodline"

"So," I said "She could....s-see the future?"

Ellmia laughed shaking her head. "No, No. Even the best of us cannot do such things. She simply had a heightened sense of "knowing" how things would turn out though indirectly."

"So the daughter married the chief and gave birth to nine daughters. Five of them were different. They possessed multiple powers, instead of just being blessed with one. Three of the five possessed every gift, including one that had never been seen before, speed. They were amazing fighters. They used their other gifts in combination with this new gift to protect their people. Their father however feared for them, so he kept their powers hidden from their allies the Quileute's, fearing that his daughters would side with those who they could relate to. After all it was the only reason the chief married their mother, because he feared the Quileute's and did not trust them. One day, the Quileute chief and elders came to meet with him. The Quileute chief Taka Aki saw one of the three daughters and he loved her instantly.

"The third wife," I said.

"Nizhonie."

"Nizhonie?" I asked

Ellmia nodded. "The third wife. The Quileute may have forgotten her name, but we have not. The chief was worried for his daughter, knowing the powers that the Quileutes possessed, but he soon saw how Taka Aki loved her.."

I felt my breathing pick up. My mind raced. My mother reached out, squeezing my hand. I looked up at her.

"I'm fine." I said

"So how does the third wife, Nizhonie...relate to me?"

"Her sister is your great grandmother...well many greats, but you get the idea."

I nodded. "So you...can all do...things."

"To a certain degree," Ellmia said. "Like the daughters before not all since have been true protectors, and it changed as time went on. Some possessed....only one gift, others possessed three or all. Some could only move fast and do nothing else, others were born with no power at all, even though they were direct descendents of the third wife. None of us posses all gifts. Sidonie is the most talented....until you."

I swallowed hard. "Until me? So what are we like witches or something?"

Anina laughed. Ellmia smiled at me. "No, we don't use spells or potions, candles or incense or anything. Our power comes from within, from our abilities to manipulate and control the elements, the energy around us. You're the first in nearly a century to be a true protector, an Onedaj. A shock if there ever was one."

I could only manage a breathless, "Why?" as I stared down at the table.

"We waited," Ellmia said. "But you never showed any powers until now."

"Kim," my mom said. "Kim?" she said again when I didn't look up.

I looked up. She took my chin in her hand studying my face. She smiled. "This is a good thing, I promise. You just have to get use to the idea."

"I-I just need a minute." I stood up and headed farther down the path from where we had been sitting.

I walked past the fountain and headed for the very back of the yard where I knew they wouldn't be able to see me before I collapsed, sitting down on one of the stone benches. I gripped the edge for support.

I wanted Jared, but would he want me?

I muffled a sob, pushing the thought down. I couldn't think of that now, not when my mind was already so overwhelmed.

I waited until my breathing evened out before I let my mind try and take in everything that I had been told.

It wasn't that bad....right? I mean it could be worse. Hadn't I wished for this? I'd read books about people with power, power to protect themselves and those they loved, but this was different because it was reality and not fantasy and it was happening to me.

A part of me liked it.

Liked the fact that it explained so much, I was not crazy or sick for that matter.

I was different.

I took a shaky breath, leaning forward and resting my head in my hands. If I was being honest I knew what was bothering me.

Jared.

I wanted him so badly right now and yet I was undeniably relieved that he was over ten hours away from me.

How could he accept me? What would he say?

I pushed the thought away. I couldn't think about this now. I needed to get through this weekend.

I took a few more minutes to myself before heading back .

I made my way back on shaky legs and sat down.

They were silent waiting for me to say something. I looked at my mom and then over at Ellmia. "So, what does this all mean? What I'm I suppose to do with all this."

"Well," Ellmia said. "There is more."

I shook my head. "Great."

_Seriously what more could there be?_

A thought hit me. My head flew up, looking directly at Ellmia. "So...all the legends are true, the wolves and...and the cold ones?" I asked

Ellmia nodded.

_Do not think! Do not think! Do not try and comprehend._

I took a deep breath.

"What I'm about to tell you will be even more difficult for you to take in," Ellmia said. 'I wish we could have told you sooner, but unfortunately as I said before we cannot see the future. Jared..."

"Jared??!!!" Her using his name had totally caught me off guard. I turned looking at my mother, glaring at her. Jared was none of their business. I knew one thing I was not going to stop seeing him, unless he didn't want me.

I shuddered at the thought.

I shook my head. "I won't give him up, so don't waste your breath." I said in an even tone. I didn't want to be disrespectful, but I wanted her to understand where I stood on the issue.

Ellmia smiled shaking her head. "No, no, of course not. This makes it easier. You do understand what the cold ones were in the story?"

I nodded. "That's why I always thought it was just a myth, legend because while it was almost easy to accept shape shifters, werewolves, whatever you want to call them, vampires seemed, just so impossible, so farfetched."

"Yes well." Ellmia said. 'Lets see, once again where do I start. Like us the wolves of the Quileute tribe begin to die out. As the generations went on they became less and less. A man would have five sons and out of those five only two would be able to shift, even though the father had been a protector himself, and so on and so forth. Eventually, unlike us they died out completely or so we thought. The gene was simply....dormant, needing the right catalyst to set it off. It's been quite interesting these last couple of years. Eizzel's been quite busy."

"Eizzel?" I said

Ellmia nodded. "She is the only one among us who sees things, until you that is. It's her only ability, we thought, like you she had no gifts. Until things started happening that would affect us. At first, we didn't understand why she was seeing things that seemed to only concern the Quileutes. Now we understand that..."

"Wait!" I said "What-you-your telling me that there are....wolves running around LaPush right now!"

Ellmia nodded. "Apparently vampires activate this gene."

I sat thinking. I knew what I needed, what I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to ask, a part of me didn't want to hear the truth.

I took a deep breath, bracing myself. "So is....is Jared...." I trailed off

Ellmia nodded. "Yes he is."

"So," I said in a small voice. "Is that...is this the only reason he's attracted to me? Because I'm...I'm...Whatever I am?

"No." Ellmia said. I breathed an audible sigh of relief. "He will tell you why. I'll let him explain it. It's only fair, and I'm not quite sure that I would be correct, but he's going to tell you eventually what he is."

I nodded. I was a bit relived and freaked out that I was relieved, but it explained so much. It was a relief just to know, to understand, no matter how strange and just...wrong the truth was. This must have been what he was going to tell me today.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I quickly wiped it away.

"Are you...upset that he's a werewolf?" my mom asked, wrapping her arms around my shoulder.

"No!" I said. "I'm just...I'm not sure what I am...I'm a bit relieved."

"Relieved?" Sidonie said.

I nodded. "His strange behavior...I-I was worried that it was something...really bad. Like drugs or cheating on me or something even though, even though it seemed so unlikely and not like him. It hurts a bit, that he hasn't told me, that he didn't trust me.

"You didn't tell him, about the strange things that were happening to you." Anina said.

I looked up at her. That stung, but she had a point. I nodded.

"You must put yourself in his position." Ellmia said. "It should be easy for you, the fear of rejection. It's not like telling someone that...well, it is incomparable to anything else. Telling someone that you're not quite human.

I nodded, and in his defense he was going to tell me, but I had skipped town.

"So, "I said. "What do I do when he tells me?"

"Pretend you didn't know." Ellmia said as if it were the obvious answer.

"Why would I do that? Why can't I just tell him that I already know and how I know?"

Ellmia shook her head. "You cannot tell him what you are."

"Why not?"

"Because," Ellmia said. 'Secrecy is imperative. Your father cannot know the truth about you or us either.

"But that's different." I said "My father is normal. Jared is definitely not normal, not human. It doesn't make sense that he be kept in the dark."

_And I can't stand the thought of keeping such a huge part of myself from him for the rest of my life._

"I forbid you to tell him!" Ellmia said.

"Forbid me?!" I said standing up.

My mother grabbed my arm trying to pull me back down into my seat. I resisted.

She stood up still holding onto my arm. "Kallista you'll do as you're told!"

I wrenched my arm out of her grasp and headed for the backyard.

I heard footsteps, someone coming after me. I kept going until I reached the back again.

I heard them stop a few feet behind me, their feet on the stone path.

"Kali," Sidonie said.

"Don't."

She walked up behind me, taking my shoulder and turning me to face her.

She sighed, giving me a long hard look before she spoke. "We are gifted, special. We don't have a choice. We all have to make sacrifices to protect what's important. All of us. Think about your mothers sacrifice."

"What sacrifice?" I said folding my arms.

Sidonie studied me for a second, looking skeptical and then confused. "You don't know." She said more to herself then to me. "Meenal loved someone else, someone not your father." It was odd hearing her call my mom Meenal. I was so used to hearing her called Kathy or Kat.

I nodded, somehow it didn't surprise me. To be honest her and my father had never really seemed all that "In love" to me but they had always gotten along fine so I had ignored it.

"But your grandmother our mother, her gift was an unbelievable intuition, she was so good at using it she could almost predict the future. She told your mother that her path was to marry your father, to move to LaPush. Your mother was crushed, but she did it. At first it seemed pointless. Meenal had you and that was it, you had no gifts, but she did it. She did what needed to be done.

'Who was it?" I asked. I was more intrigued by the thought of my mother being passionate about someone, than I was by the tale of my mother's half life. That was what I considered it, a half life. Love had never seemed that important to me. My parent's luke-warm marriage had never stirred anything in me. Until Jared. Now it depressed and saddened me.

"Who was what?"

"Who was it that my mother was so in love with. How did they meet?" Sidonie laughed.

"That is another story for another time." She said. Her face turned serious. "So you understand? You understand what you need to do? Why it's so important."

I studied her a minute before nodding, pretending to think. I would tell Jared, eventually I would find the right time. This might be the path that had been chosen for me so far, but I still had a will of my own, and Jared loved me. He was going to be completely honest with me, even though he was terrified of doing so, terrified that I would walk away horrified and disgusted by him. I cringed at the thought, the thought of hurting Jared.

I could see it now, thinking back to last night and the previous weeks. I could see how nervous he was about telling me that he was slightly less than human.

_Slightly less._

I laughed to myself, he wasn't less. He was more. A protector, kind of cool now that I thought about it. A protector like me.

I looked up at Sidonie. She studied me looking skeptical but she nodded anyways. I had a feeling that she didn't believe me, but she was letting it go for now.

She reached out her hand taking me by the arm. "Let's go back inside."

I apologized, and promised that I would keep the truth about myself form Jared, complete with tears and all.

_Yeah I'm that good. They might be my family but they don't know me._

When I had glanced at my mother she had looked just as skeptical as Sidonie had but she hadn't said anything and Ellmia had seemed pleased.

I felt energized for some reason, a huge weight lifted. I guess knowing the truth, finally, will do that for you.

After my "apology" and seeing the error of my ways I took my seat.

"So...what now?"

"Well," Lona said clapping her hands together. 'Now the fun begins."

"Fun?" I said

Sidonie nodded smiling. "Your training. You have to learn how to use and control your abilities."

To my surprise, I was eager to begin. "Will I be able to control my... visions?" I said. For some reason the word "visions" was hard to say.

Ellmia nodded. "Yes, Eizzel will be back tomorrow. I'll be helping you learn how to control and draw energy."

"Energy!" I said.

Ellmia laughed. "Yes, energy."

"What will I be able to do? How does it work?"

"Well," Ellmia said. "You can draw energy from your surroundings, including people. Once you're really good you'll be able to even render someone unconscious."

"Wow, cool."

Ellmia laughed again. "Each of us will teach you the things we're best at. I'm the only one who can...manipulate energy and Eizzel is our only seer. Anina will teach you movement, or rather how to move things with your mind.

"Like telekinesis?"

Anina shook her head. "No it's a bit different than that, it's almost the same as drawing on energy, you use energy to surround the objects and therefore move it."

"So what can you move? Is it only small things?"

"No," Anina said. "I can move this lounge for instance throw it against a wall hard enough to break it." My mouth hung open slightly. She smiled. "Don't be too impressed. You'll surpass me." I looked at her skeptically. "It's true, you're a true protector."

"So," I said. "What...how large of an object will I be able to move?"

"Well," Anina said. "It depends, everyone's different. For instance I can't move a person, but you probably will be able to because you can manipulate energy. Besides I couldn't move stuff until I tried. You did it by accident."

"How do you...Oh! Eizzel." I said. Anina nodded.

"Sidonie will be in charge of teaching you to fight." Ellmia said.

I looked at her like she was crazy. She laughed. "It will be easy for you. You'll pick it up fast, or so I'm told. Your mother will be in charge of teaching you how to reach out, using your intuition. How to just, know things."

Oddly enough learning to fight was one of the things I was the most excited about.

"So...when do we start?"

"Tonight. Your mother will start teaching you how to feel, how to rely less on your, normal senses, then tomorrow, the rest."

My mom stood up and I followed her into the yard.

We left Monday afternoon.

We rode with the windows down, the wind blowing through my hair.

I sat slouched down with one foot on the dashboard trying to sleep.

I was exhausted. It had been a long and.....amazing weekend. I looked at the clock it was just after six p.m.. We would be back home in just over two hours.

I was afraid to admit how much I liked it. The power, the control. What did it say about me that I liked the fact that I was abnormal, and maybe even a little more than human?

It had been amazing, my head was spinning. All the things I'd learned and read. I had read our version of the history book, seeing my name on the long and twisted tree that folded out from the back of the book was pretty cool. I was the first true protector in over a hundred years.

The first night I'd gone out with my mom. It was nothing like I'd expected. It felt like being out of control and yet....completely in control. I had sat my legs crossed feeling the night air against my skin. Trying to throw my mind out. It was like seeing through someone else's eyes.

Knowing the emotions of those around me, feeling them as if they were my own. Understanding the why and what of certain things even though I didn't understand how I understood.

If that isn't convoluted logic, I don't know what is.

For the rest of the night whenever I focused on someone, "reading" them as my mother called it, it was like reading their diary. Not what they did or said, but how they felt, their emotions, their true feeling about whatever they were talking or thinking about at the time.

There were more lessons, lessons on control and focus. I hadn't wanted to go to bed, but Aunt Ellmia had insisted.

My favorite lesson was Ellmia's energy lesson.

Now that was fun. Learning how to draw energy. She had discussed the "Dime store tricks" as she called them I would be able to pull. Like going on very little sleep by drawing energy from others. I couldn't draw energy from inanimate objects it had to be people or animals and I couldn't go without any sleep at all. The mind required rest even if my body didn't. I could mess with electricity like making the lights go out etcetera, of course I couldn't do it yet but I was getting close.

I understood why true protectors were the best at manipulating these "gifts" as they called them. One gift often bled into another one. Like when trying to control energy, the gift of intuition came in handy.

Handy in drawing energy from people without rendering them unconscious that is.

My second favorite lesson was with Anina . Learning to move things with my mind. It was a lot more difficult than it sounded. It took focus and more "feeling" than I had thought it would. You had to feel and visualize the energy around an object before you could move it and when you did move it you could feel it, pulling on your energy and your mind. Oddly enough it was the ability I was best at, once I got the hang of how to activate it.

Sidonie was....well amazing.

Just watching her. The speed and grace with which she moved. Her skill with weapons and fighting were beyond impressive.

The speed was the hardest. Trying to figure out how to control my adrenaline, how to slow things down and move faster than humanly possible. I had only gotten control of that one this morning. When I found the "Key" as Anina called it, to getting my adrenaline pumping. The key was so obvious, I felt stupid that I didn't think of it before.

Jared.

Jared, of course. Thinking of him got my heart rate up, and from there I was beginning to be able to heighten it.

Every power, every gift had a key, the key to activating it, to getting it flowing. Once you got the key all you had to do was practice and learn to focus in order to make it stronger.

Seeing was easy for me too, once I got it. It was terrifying though, throwing your mind out like that. Seeing things in your head that were happening somewhere else. It was kind of cool though, especially when it came to eavesdropping.

While Eizzel could see certain things. Ellmia was almost certain I'd be able to see anything I wanted to. Any conversation or action that was taking place. Whether it related to me or not. If I knew the person I'd be able to see them.

Jared was the easiest.

It had been Eizzel's idea. Apparently the closer or more connected you were to a person the easier they were to see, the less fuzzy the vision would be. So she'd picked Jared, once I'd learned how to throw my mind out.

It had been so clear, just for second. As clear as if I was watching it on a TV screen. He wasn't doing anything just sitting in the kitchen at Emily's eating.

The sound was off, muffled. Eizzel had said it was normal, for some reason hearing was harder than seeing.

The vision had ended all too quickly for my taste. Lasting only a few seconds, but I was elated and it relieved the ache

It all sounded impressive, but it wasn't. First of all I could now move objects with my mind...if they were the size of large pebble if I tried to move anything bigger it simply trembled, not even a lift. When it came to energy I could make the lights flicker, great for Halloween but not all that impressive and I could make myself feel slightly energized but that was it. When it came to visions only three to five seconds long and as far as speed was concerned, I could catch objects moving at incredible speed but that was it I couldn't make my body speed up, which apparently I would be able to but not yet.

I thought I was falling miserably, but according to my aunts and my mother I was doing amazingly well. Progressing quite fast.

_So why did it feel like I was moving at a snail's pace?_

My mom had laughed at me. I knew they were right, I shouldn't expect to turn into street fighter over night.

I was so anxious.

Anxious to see Jared. I was really hopping he would tell me tonight. I had called him a couple of hours ago to tell him I'd be home around eight.

He was coming over at nine so that should give me enough time to fix myself up. I was nervous would he sense that something was different? Would he still tell me the truth about himself? All of these questions were enough to drive me nuts, but they weren't the main reason I was nervous.

Now that I knew the truth about Jared, all his weird and inexplicable behavior explained, there were no barriers.

Nothing standing between what I had wanted to do for the last two weeks.

*********************************************************************************************************************************

**AN:/ There are new pictures of Kim on my profile page. Old Kim and New Kim. I did this because the story has changed a bit. As Kim gets more into her powers and progresses she will change becoming more sure of herself. Her hair will get shorter, she'll lose her childish looks and look more like a woman, her body more toned. There are also pictures of her aunts, her great aunt, and her cousin Enjoy!!**

**Ok so please R&R. This chapter took forever to finish almost a week, I kept going back and changing things so hopefully it came out ok. I had so much I want to reveal in this chapter and I didn't want it to be rushed. A lot of times I read stories that would be so good and involved but there rushed, so hopefully I did I good job. Let me know what you honestly think. There won't be too many chapters for this story five or so....at least I think who knows. Someone ask me a question about where Jacob and the rest of them are, well this takes place right before Edward and Bella's first summer together, right before the start of new moon. I mean the Cullens were living in forks for over two years before Jacob and his friends changed so there was a bit of time in between Jared and Jacob changing. Also I want to do a Sam and Emily story after this! What do you think? I already have the first few chapters practically written in my head. Most Sam and Emily's have Emily so winy or downright prudish I mean I read one story last year that is no longer on the website in which Emily didn't even really enjoy sex with Sam. WTF!! Come on anyways I want to put a couple twist on the story much like this one so let me know what you think. Again so sorry for the wait!!!!**


End file.
